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  • Surgery - Nanny - S7?

    Hi Everyone,

    Thank you all for your help in the past. I have full custody, now receiving child support, for my daughter. She is 8 months old. I need surgery in the next month. I have no family to help me, at all. I will be in the hospital overnight 1-3 nights, depending on what they need to remove/severity of the surgery. After surgery, my doctor told me I should expect to need help for 6 weeks. I've heard from others that 2 weeks is much more reasonable.

    If I need child care assistance due to a temporary medical issue, for 2 weeks, will it qualify as a schedule 7 expense?

    I'm thinking I'll have no choice but to hire a nanny...

  • #2
    Does dad live close and does he have any access that he may be available to help out a little bit?

    Childcare is S7 if it is for working, illness, disability or education so in this case I would think yes it would be considered S7 but if Dad is available even a couple days to cut down on costs I would assume this would be a better option on some days.

    Hope the surgery goes well!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

    Comment


    • #3
      Your post Berner, is exactly what I thought about the expenses...

      Dad lives ten minutes away. He wants zero involvement with the baby.

      I've told him I need the surgery and I'm desperate for the help. Honestly, even if he took the baby for the overnights and a few hours for the first week, it would be a huge help. But he's not willing at all.

      So I need to somehow be able to cover my back, for court.

      I'll receive the common "after money" accusation he says. My doctor said she'll write me a note for a recommendation of six weeks of help. If I hire a registered early childhood educator, I'm wondering if that is better than a nanny, to a judge....

      I don't want this to come across as a luxury. It's a true need. And I'll only do minimal help as personally I hate needing the help to start off with

      Comment


      • #4
        Correct me if I'm wrong but do you not have 2 other children (3 total?) or is it the father that has 3 children - I might be confusing the two.

        Your child is a toddler correct? Perhaps you could contact the social worker at the hospital where you are going for your surgery and ask for their assistance in referring you somewhere?

        I do not think a judge would care one way or another... why do you anticipate your having to hire childcare as something that would be review-able by the court? Presumably you are employed with no medical leave provision?

        Comment


        • #5
          If I need child care assistance due to a temporary medical issue, for 2 weeks, will it qualify as a schedule 7 expense?
          Yes. See the following:

          Special or extraordinary expenses

          7 (1) In a child support order the court may, on either spouse’s request, provide for an amount to cover all or any portion of the following expenses, which expenses may be estimated, taking into account the necessity of the expense in relation to the child’s best interests and the reasonableness of the expense in relation to the means of the spouses and those of the child and to the family’s spending pattern prior to the separation:

          (a) child care expenses incurred as a result of the custodial parent’s employment, illness, disability or education or training for employment;
          Citation: https://www.canlii.org/en/ca/laws/re...ml#sec7subsec1

          Comment


          • #6
            After the 1-3 days in hospital, would you also be needing personal assistance that is not related to childcare i.e. if you had no children, would you still need assistance? If yes, then a part of that cost would not be S7 (IMO).

            I don't think the extra cost of an ECE would be justified for a toddler (IMO - imagining a judge reacting to large cost). Can you find a student (with baby-sitting references) willing to live in for a 1-2 weeks? Or a neighbor who can be there for a good part of the day?

            Does the timing coincide with after uni exams?

            Is there a drop-in childcare circle where you could befriend some parents willing to help out?
            Check out Ontario Early Years Centres locations in the link here: Ontario Early Years Centres - Toronto Central - torontocentralhealthline.ca

            Comment


            • #7
              good on you for offering the extra time to add before enrolling in daycare or nanny.

              It is not automatically S7 - it must be agreed upon. A court MAY order it but not guaranteed - what does your order say? My ex can't get any daycare from me because our order doesn't classify daycare as an section 7 expense. he he he. We don't need daycare anyways.

              If it's a temporary thing, I probably wouldn't bother with all of the stress involved just to get him to pay. Save the stress to heal after your surgery. Save the receipts for later on. Again, probably not worth it.

              Comment


              • #8
                I'm currently on maternity leave, so not at work. My daughter turned 9 months old today.

                My other two children will be staying with their Dad. But he's unwilling to help with the baby...

                I was going to sign the baby up for daycare for the later weeks of healing time. But the first two, I won't be able to drive... I won't be able to get out of bed. These first two weeks are my issue and problem. If a court is okay with just a babysitter, in that case is so much easier. I'll need about 12 hrs help during the day. I can hire two girls, 6 hours each and I'll keep a neighbor as backup just in case. I can manage at night as the baby sleeps in my room, doesn't wake for a bottle anymore, etc. She'll just sleep.

                My court order - the judge never awarded visitation to my baby's Dad. I asked for reasonable visits, on reasonable notice as he is a pilot, to satisfy his schedule. The judge gave me full custody and never even addressed visitation in the order. This was through an uncontested trial.

                I asked the baby's Dad, if he could help me at all. I emailed him to let him know the surgery details, date, etc.

                I received an emailed response from my baby's father today. He refuses to communicate via phone or text. When I text him he always replys "Who are you?". Latest gf obviously doesn't know about baby. He said he can call in sick to the airline for three days to help. But then the issues started - he also said "I just paid FRO $10k for you, you threatened to take my passport, you said you'd pay half the DNA test, etc etc". FRO sent a letter demanding child support payment in 15 days or they'd take licenses/pilots license​ away,, I did previously tell him I'll ask for him to be held in contempt when he kept emailing me threatening to leave country so maybe that's where he gets this passport idea, and the DNA test I was willing to pay half for until I found out his OTHER gf was the one that wanted it. So I told him make her pay for half or ask the court. Well he never showed up for court. But I deposited/e-transferred him half the DNA $$$ immediately anyways. Needless to say we're very volatile... and I haven't moved on emotionally, which makes it worse. All the court issues were reopened and my emotions were too.

                Asking my babys Dad for help opened Pandora's box. Dumb on my part.

                Comment


                • #9
                  What sort of surgery are you going to have where you won't be able to get out of bed for 2 weeks after you get home?

                  In a previous thread I did tell you that FRO's escalating collection actions would involve suspension of license (drivers' or pilots and cancellation of passport). Your ex is a big boy and he can figure that out for himself. No need to continually communicate with him. He can get all the information he needs from FRO. If he doesn't show up to court that's his problem.

                  I don't get why you want to continue to have anything to do with him. The sooner you recognize that he is merely the sperm donor the better of you will be. He has clearly moved on with his life and wants little to do with his biological child. Getting pregnant and having a child isn't a good way to trap a man. I may be wrong but that's the way things are coming off to me. You made the decision to have this child alone and now you have to deal with it alone. You should get some good child care options lined up. One of your other children could become ill and require your undivided attention. I think you should do some serious worst-case scenario planning for future set-backs.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    ignore all the none sense from him and only respond to what youre after for him to see his kids. if he's email is indicative that he doesn't want to then thats it it's the end of convo. you offered him an opportunity and he refused. don't offer any more opportunities. if he wants time then he can reach out and ask. go ahead and get daycare. if it's not in your order then don't expect a penny from him.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Yes, that's what I'm thinking. It turns out, I have three hernia's that are strangulated. So I need the surgery soon. They said if pain gets worse, walk into the ER and be prepared because they'll do the surgery as soon as the general surgeon can get in. One in my diaphragm, one in my belly button, and one just above. They're 2cms (belly button - big deal) and 4cms for the other two. It's disgusting. I can see it. My abdominal wall collapsed, so they need to rebuild it. I'm hoping that means free tummy tuck... 3 kids, I need it! There has to be a positive in this.

                      I never trapped him. That's what he keeps saying too. He's the one who had slow reflexes. I think he can choose to be a good person. But not towards me. I think there's always positives to the father being involved in the children's lives.

                      I'm questioning it in this case though...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by trinton View Post
                        ignore all the none sense from him and only respond to what youre after for him to see his kids. if he's email is indicative that he doesn't want to then thats it it's the end of convo. you offered him an opportunity and he refused. don't offer any more opportunities. if he wants time then he can reach out and ask. go ahead and get daycare. if it's not in your order then don't expect a penny from him.


                        She could very well get daycare, it doesn't have to be in an order for her to get it. It is outlined in the CS guidelines. Your case is NOT the norm... you were successful in not having to pay daycare for whatever reason but that is not the norm. He doesn't have to agree to daycare if it's for work, school or illness. In your case I believe mom is withholding access and using daycare when you are available. In this case Dad is refusing to take his child therefore daycare is needed.

                        That being said, collecting from Dad could be an issue. One you will have to decide if it's worth or not


                        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                        • #13
                          Exactly. Is the final bill going to be worth the headache, time and energy.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Often strangulated hernias can be addressed with laparoscopic surgery. Recovery time is minimal.

                            I hope you have consulted with a surgeon before you get yourself worked up and worried (reading the internet won't help).

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Bellbaby View Post
                              I'm currently on maternity leave, so not at work. My daughter turned 9 months old today.

                              My other two children will be staying with their Dad. But he's unwilling to help with the baby...

                              I was going to sign the baby up for daycare for the later weeks of healing time. But the first two, I won't be able to drive... I won't be able to get out of bed. These first two weeks are my issue and problem. If a court is okay with just a babysitter, in that case is so much easier. I'll need about 12 hrs help during the day. I can hire two girls, 6 hours each and I'll keep a neighbor as backup just in case. I can manage at night as the baby sleeps in my room, doesn't wake for a bottle anymore, etc. She'll just sleep.

                              My court order - the judge never awarded visitation to my baby's Dad. I asked for reasonable visits, on reasonable notice as he is a pilot, to satisfy his schedule. The judge gave me full custody and never even addressed visitation in the order. This was through an uncontested trial.

                              I asked the baby's Dad, if he could help me at all. I emailed him to let him know the surgery details, date, etc.

                              I received an emailed response from my baby's father today. He refuses to communicate via phone or text. When I text him he always replys "Who are you?". Latest gf obviously doesn't know about baby. He said he can call in sick to the airline for three days to help. But then the issues started - he also said "I just paid FRO $10k for you, you threatened to take my passport, you said you'd pay half the DNA test, etc etc". FRO sent a letter demanding child support payment in 15 days or they'd take licenses/pilots license​ away,, I did previously tell him I'll ask for him to be held in contempt when he kept emailing me threatening to leave country so maybe that's where he gets this passport idea, and the DNA test I was willing to pay half for until I found out his OTHER gf was the one that wanted it. So I told him make her pay for half or ask the court. Well he never showed up for court. But I deposited/e-transferred him half the DNA $$$ immediately anyways. Needless to say we're very volatile... and I haven't moved on emotionally, which makes it worse. All the court issues were reopened and my emotions were too.

                              Asking my babys Dad for help opened Pandora's box. Dumb on my part.


                              I'm confused about the DNA test part. Does he believe he is not actually the father and therefore that is maybe why he is not helping?


                              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                              Comment

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