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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 04-22-2017, 08:13 PM
trinton trinton is offline
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Default pickups from school as opposed to from day care?

.. in my case.. with the daycare provider continuing to engage in the whole side taking thing and now insulting me at pickups (with the mother present at daycare when I go to pickup kid) I am trying to get our child from the school directly. The child is not even in daycare after school but rather OP is just using as an exchange point. It's only 2 minutes from OP's house. OP's house is where I drop off the child to at the end of exchanges. It's makes no sense but for OP to be doing this to irritate and annoy me. The pickup time was reduced by her without my consent previously as well. The pickup time is now approximately 2 hours after school let out.

I have indicated to the other parent that I'm not comfortable with the current daycare giver and have numerous times ask to switch daycare givers, asked to provide care as opposed to daycare, and have suggested other caregivers,i.e., before and after school programs at school, etc. Other parent has fired back a nasty angry email that i'm a liying about not being comfortable with daycare and that I must pickup from daycare. There is no order in place that I must pickup from daycare and such an order would never be made. There are CAS allegations between daycare and myself, and a number of nasty confrontations by daycare towards me in presence of the child. All have been documented and some have been mentioned to CAS as they were during investigations. CAS has not seen it themselves and it is basically my word against the daycares. Daycare is quite good a liar like OP and is a single parent herself. Perfect match for each other.

After being called a lier in writing, I received threats that if I don't attend at daycare, then I don't get the visit. I know she can do this but what is the best course for this? Only thing that seems to come to mind is keep trying to sort it out with her or just file an emergency motion to have pickups from school or somewhere mutual - as opposed to somewhere the mother chooses. Daycare provider was unilaterally chosen by OP without consultation and is just a friend to OP with the case - taking sides and calling the CAS. None of the CAS allegations have been substantiated.

I know our child senses the tensions at the exchanges and this is not healthy for her. Must I continue to attend to have exchanges under such hostile setting or best to just not attend? They're consistently trying to start something at every exchange. CAS has seen and documented OP being present at daycare for the exchanges . OP is trying to make this whole claim that child cries and doesn't want to come with me from daycares. The only thing that allegation tells me is that OP is working very hard with daycare to keep my access limited. OP is really good customer of the daycare, and has been giving her business for a number of years now.

daycare is presently not an S7 expense and there is no ongoing request for me to pay anything. It is subsidized but it leads to problems with holidays - that I must pay to get more time (again not in court order - just another OP made law), and of course extreme hostilities among us all. Daycare has previously expressed that she doesn't wish to see me, but this was communicated verbally through the lawyers and was never put in writing.

Last edited by trinton; 04-22-2017 at 08:17 PM.
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Old 04-23-2017, 12:23 AM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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It wouldn't be an emergency motion, but you could definitely make a motion to have the exchanges be via the school, with only the pickup parent present to get the child at the end of the school day.

Your documentation should include everything you have about the daycare not being a neutral third party but instead a biased friend to the mom, anything you have about difficulties at pickup, your requests to change the pickup to be after school, those emails where she refuses, etc.

First, make a few more polite attempts to mutually agree to have it changed, with warnings that you are willing to bring this to court to resolve.

Start keeping a journal, and make a note every day of what happened at the pickup. This can be part of your evidence trail that the current system is stressful on the child. Maybe bring a friend with you for a few daycare pickups to corroborate what happens there.

What happens if you go right to the school at end of day to pick up the child? If your ex causes a scene, or starts taking the child out of school early to avoid you being able to get the child, that might be temporarily annoying, but it's great proof of how difficult she's being, that she's willing to deny you access and give the child incomplete school days over this.
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Old 04-23-2017, 12:35 PM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
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Perhaps tell your ex and the daycare staff that you have started recording the pickups for the purposes of minimising conflict in front of the child.
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Old 04-23-2017, 05:18 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Yes you can both video and audio record the pick-ups or you have your friend do this. You do not have to inform the other party and can hide the audio recorder on your person. You can pick up directly from school. You can have a friend come with you or if you don't want to go you can give permission for a third party to pick up for you.

The court will not consider this a life and death emergency, therefor do not bring an emergency motion. You should bring a regular motion as the court has various remedies at its disposal to help you, including pick up at school.
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Old 04-23-2017, 06:35 PM
trinton trinton is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
What happens if you go right to the school at end of day to pick up the child? If your ex causes a scene, or starts taking the child out of school early to avoid you being able to get the child, that might be temporarily annoying, but it's great proof of how difficult she's being, that she's willing to deny you access and give the child incomplete school days over this.
Would I not get in shit if I did that? The order states that as such further and other times as we can agree. The order states pickups are on Saturday and mom has expanded that to Friday evenings . the mid-week access is to whatever we agree on. the pickup times have never been agreed on to be at school let out or anything close to it - always an hour after - so technically I can't just show up at the school unless we agree to an earlier pickup time, or could I? I already have it in writing from her saying no I can't pickup from the school.

In short, I would show up at school, sign in, and say I'm there to pickup child. mom will show up and try to make a scene and take child no ?

If I don't agree to make up access because of the pickup location, who would that look bad on?
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Old 04-23-2017, 08:30 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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If you have an existing court order you must follow it. However, there is nothing stopping you from filing a motion, returning to court and having it amended now that problems have arisen at pick ups that are negatively impacting your child.
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