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Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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  #21  
Old 04-23-2012, 04:23 PM
nerkkooanse nerkkooanse is offline
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All the documentation given to the lawyer does not engage anything against my ex at all, besides the fact of her obviously denying me access and impacting our sons life with change/in-continuity. It's all primarily directed towards the best interest for our son, because those are my true intentions.

If my ex does choose to play dirty- which she most likely will at some point, should I begin preparing further documentation for when & if it gets to that stage?

I've already got a few points in my back pocket that unfortunately do slander her ability to deal with the stress of parenting, and would help build my case. I really don't want to see it get to that point, but like every one is saying- her and her lawyers are not out to play fair.
  #22  
Old 04-23-2012, 04:34 PM
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Unless you have a criminal record, or some sort of mental health issue that make you a danger to the kid, it's not relevant. Don't slander her. You'll get WAY more mileage out of staying child focused and trying to promote a parenting plan that maximizes contact with BOTH parents.

They will try to drag you through the mud, but any response you put forth is going to be ONE bullet point. If the allegations are that severe, you challenge that there is no supporting documentation to her claims, no police reports, no records of any kind. Then you move on.

There are proper ways of handling TRUE issues like that, and she won't use those organizations. Individuals making false allegations will very very rarely do so, because it can bite them in the ass.
  #23  
Old 04-23-2012, 04:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
I have spoken to and retained a lawyer today. She will have the application drafted and ready for tomorrow, I will then get it served later that evening, and return the next day to file to forms with the court.
Good for you young man. Stay the course,be smart and there is no reason why you shouldn't get what your son needs. Best of luck. We're all rooting for you.
  #24  
Old 04-24-2012, 10:14 AM
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Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
My ex-girlfriend and I were together for about 2.5 years, our son was born 8 months ago. I moved into her Dad's house the moment we found out she was pregnant, at that time I was the only one bringing in income to support her throughout the pregnancy and took her to all appointments.
Start documenting that you did this. The dates of the appointments, with what clinicians you saw, and as a custodial parent with "joint custody" you can get the medical records from these clinicians to backup your claims. You can request copies of your child's medical records.

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Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
One month before the birth of our son, we moved into my parents house. We had happily lived here and raised our son here till last week when she decided to up and leave.
Technically, the mother removed your child from their primary residence without your consent and against your wishes. She basically took the law into her own hands and may possibly be in violation of Section 283.(1) of the criminal code of Canada. (This is extreme but, pointing out the current law your access to the child is governed by until proceedings happen in Family Court).

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Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
She was on welfare since his birth and I was bringing in extra income with freelancing design jobs until I got a full time job 3 months ago. Also my parents supported us a lot, majority of the time we were there- they supplied all diapers, wipes, formula etc.
Collect the receipts from your parents proving that they provided this additional support and all your evidence to your support of the child. Don't just say you did it... Prove it with *evidence*. Receipts, bank account statements, etc. Get it all put together.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
Anyway, she went to her mothers last week for "space", I was even courteous enough to drop her off. The next day I dropped off a few of the baby things she needed, and brought her some extra formula- I briefly got to see my son outside for 10 minutes or so.
Often parents do not understand the law and the rights of both parents. You have equal right to love and care for this child under the Criminal Code of Canada and the Children's Law Reform Act. Consult a lawyer as soon as possible on how to distil the oncoming challenges.

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Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
A few days later she had decided the relationship was over, I drove over to her house and knocked on her door to speak to her- after being denied that, I asked to at least see my son- I was also denied that. I left.
Access denial. Document the date and time you requested access to your child. Continue to request access and collect the evidence to the denial of access by the other parent.

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Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
Yesterday it had been one week since I'd seen him, she had told me I can bring all her stuff over and see him with the supervision of her mother- I agreed to that.
Assuming you are no risk of emotional and/or physical harm to her or the child there is no reason you shouldn't be allowed to equally care for the child in accordance with the above stated Acts and Laws.

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Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
Once I got there, only her mother was there and told me their lawyer suggested not letting my son or her have any contact with me till the court date.
Did you get service of the documentation?

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Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
She said they already filed for custody because they feared I was planning to take him away from them or flee the country with him. She also mentioned there's no way they would ever allow me to have 50/50 custody of him and would fight all the way even if it got dirty. I kept my cool, and left once again.
Make sure you document the time, date and who said this all to you and prepare it for your affidavit in response. Get a lawyer now.

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Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
Worst thing is, my brothers getting married next month and family that I only see every 5-6 years is coming over. They were all excited to see the little bundle of joy and I really wanted to introduce him to them- but seems that wont happen now.
Do you have the court documentation? You should have been served. Also, you can probably request and emergency motion to fix the custody and access issues. GET A GOOD LAWYER.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
Alright now that I'm done with the huge back story, as you can see, I'm being denied access to my son. I have briefly spoke to a lawyer for advice but I was just wondering... what kind of custody agreements are usually decided in situations like this? I mean the child has lived in my house up until now, can she really keep him away from me like this?
50-50 full joint custody is what you legally have now. Just because the mother thinks not it is not the fact. In fact, they are on the borderline of child abduction. I would contact CAS to see what they can do. Both parents are equally responsible for their children.

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Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
I want to fight for 50/50 custody, with weeks alternating. I believe its the only fair way to share bonding time with our son. I don't want to loose out on his life. What are the chances of this actually happening?
Don't fight. Position for 50-50 which is the defacto custody and access under the law. Unless the other parent can prove otherwise you shouldn't be an equal care giver. You should be an equal care giver. Don't fight for what is already the fact and law.

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Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
Also at the time of birth I was not put on the birth certificate and the child has her last name, will this affect my case in anyway?
Your paternity will be challenged.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
Anyway, any advice or insight would greatly be appreciated.
Thanks
The removal of a child without consent or a court order is a serious undertaking of any litigant in a family matter. You have a challenge in that they may claim your paternal rights don't exist and that you are not the father.

Good Luck!
Tayken
  #25  
Old 04-24-2012, 11:11 AM
nerkkooanse nerkkooanse is offline
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I have not been served any documents. I didn't even think of that until yesterday when I asked the courts if she had filed anything as of yet- which she obviously hasn't. So assuming she doesn't avoid being served the papers this evening (Oh, why do I have a bad feeling about that actually happening.) I will be the first to file.

In your personal opinion, do you believe my situation does qualify for an emergency motion? I kept being told my a few different lawyer that those motions are usually only used if the child is under some sort of danger.
  #26  
Old 04-24-2012, 06:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nerkkooanse View Post
I have not been served any documents. I didn't even think of that until yesterday when I asked the courts if she had filed anything as of yet- which she obviously hasn't. So assuming she doesn't avoid being served the papers this evening (Oh, why do I have a bad feeling about that actually happening.) I will be the first to file.

In your personal opinion, do you believe my situation does qualify for an emergency motion? I kept being told my a few different lawyer that those motions are usually only used if the child is under some sort of danger.
The lawyers are correct but, the danger is that you do not have access to the child. You are going to face a paternity question possibly.

Good that you are talking to solution oriented lawyers. I think a letter sent by courier (notice of service) outlining and questioning what is going on may be a better route.

You could file an "emergency" motion but, remember you have to document the hell out of them. Read "Tug of War" for a better reference on the expectations of the court on what is requierd for an "emergency" motion.

Don't play with "emergency" motions without clear and relevant evidence and you have to be more honest than honest in them. The balance of probabilities goes up a notch.

You are better to talk to the CAS to see how they can help possibly.

Good LUck!
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  #27  
Old 04-24-2012, 07:44 PM
nerkkooanse nerkkooanse is offline
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Yeah, I'm starting to lean towards avoiding the emergency motion route since there is no physical danger to my son. Still debating on it though, until I'm completely certain that my case doesn't qualify for it. It seems the only way the emergency motion would be justified is if I play dirty- which I rather not.

Basically the forms are completed now and will be submitted to the court by tomorrow. I suppose she'll have an allocated time to respond, and then there will be a case conference, and eventually a court date.

What an insanely dragged out process, my minds all over the place. I will discuss the topic of an emergency motion with my lawyer once again tomorrow to see if there is any clause we could approach with.

At the end of the day, I just want equal rights to my son, and she can argue all she wants but there's no doubt about it that his primary residence has been here since birth & I am more than capable of being an equal-caregiver with added support from a loving family. Hopefully this zero-contact rule her lawyer has set her on doesn't help build her case and develop a status quo, it's the only real fear I have at the moment.

Also, I contacted CAS and they told me there's nothing they could do to possibly help, and it'll have to be dealt with legally.
  #28  
Old 04-24-2012, 08:39 PM
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She is playing dirty - she is denying access to your own son. Disgusting.
  #29  
Old 04-24-2012, 09:18 PM
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Unbelievable what is happening to you. This makes me angry
  #30  
Old 06-04-2012, 11:58 AM
nerkkooanse nerkkooanse is offline
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So its been awhile now, thought I'd give an update on the situation.

So as expected her affidavits were filled with nothing but wild allegations with zero evidence behind any of her statements. I was the first to file, which made me the applicant.

I attended an expedited case conference date a few days ago, where taking the judges recommendations- we had come to a temporary settlement of 2 days a week for 8 hours on each day, a non-removal order, return of any remaining items still in my possession, attend parenting classes, and to purchase a new crib for her.

My lawyer has advised me that this is great progress and a step towards the right direction. I am also pleased with the results seeing as I hadn't seen my son in almost a month and a half.

Just hoping to get some feedback and some enlightenment to whether or not this is regular procedure in regards to access, and what improvements to access I can expect in the future. Also, any tips about what I should to "protect my ass" during this time period since my ex does seem to be the malicious type and cause issues on anything she can get her hands on. I am currently keeping logs of my sons diet, time of pickup/drop-off, any rashes etc. that he arrived with and other misc. information.

I am currently expected to be back in court quite soon, in about a month.
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