When are you officially "single" ?

[rhondagirl]

Just curious - I want to update Facebook .. lol.

Are you single only when you get the divorce certificate (or whatever it's called - lol)?

Do you consider yourself single when you are simply separated for so long? (year?)

Or maybe when one of you has filed for divorce?

Or (this one is me so far) when you've come to a settlement, and the order has been recorded at settlement conference, but not yet printed & signed, etc.?

Or ...?

[billm]

You're single when you are separated with no (reasonable) chance of reconciliation.

For me, that was when my ex told me she was dating someone 2 months after she moved out. Took me about 30 minutes to get over it, and then I was single.

Divorce it seems, comes long after being single for some. After 5 years, I'm still not divorced for control reasons on her part. But I've been single for 5 years, that is for sure.

[Mess]

Revenue Canada doesn't allow me to be single ever again. The best I can do is "divorced."

[rhondagirl]

Thanks ... There is a woman I work with who just got a divorce, who has been separated for about 10 years and living with a man .. I thought that was odd, but maybe it's not so odd afterall!

[rhondagirl]

Revenue Canada doesn't allow me to be single ever again. The best I can do is "divorced."

Oh wow - I never thought of that...:/

[3rdparty]

LOL Revenue Canada is the only governing body that sees me as single. I generally opt for " its complicated" for all others including Facebook. :P

[standing on the sidelines]

i have my fb status set to "separated" Will i ever go back to him, maybe if the world is ending and he and i were the only two people on earth. Once my divorce comes thru then i will change it to divorced, or maybe in a relationship.

That is one of the last things I thought about when he and i were first separating.

You do what feels right for you and if people dont agree or question it ask them why does it matter to them so much

[Rioe]

I don't think Facebook cares about the legal part of our relationships. Put "single" there as soon or as late as you want. Personally, I'm still not divorced, but once it was clear that things were over, I just removed all references to relationship status altogether, and immediately deleted any feed about the changes. Didn't want a bunch of people getting all commenty. When my ex put "complicated" I unfriended him and it felt good!

It's annoying that CRA doesn't let us think of ourselves as single ever again though.

[arabian]

My bank has me down as "Miss _____ _____" Fortunately I always kept my maiden name throughout my marriage. I love the "Miss" part though and proudly had it printed on cheques. Now I know no one uses cheques anymore.....

When I fill out forms I put down "single" as the fact that I had a marriage and it failed is nobody's business. I paid big bucks to get a divorce and "divorcee" sounds so bloody matronly. Single sounds young and fresh. Yeah well ... one can always dream and pretend they weren't married LOL.....


Someone who refers to their relationship as "complicated" is confused and likely in a perpetual state of denial or they really don't get that ITS OVER.

[arabian]

Now I am totally twisted - you mean I have to have "divorced" on my CRA records???? I'm gonna call tomorrow because that is totally disgusting and I believe an infringement of my individual rights.

[Rioe]

Someone who refers to their relationship as "complicated" is confused and likely in a perpetual state of denial or they really don't get that ITS OVER.

I think for my ex, "complicated" was less embarrassing to him than changing from "married" to no longer married to "in a relationship" one right after the other.

Facebook is annoying, but this CRA thing is rankling me too.

[May_May]

So if my ex never wore his wedding ring after the 'church' day, and never changed his FB status...does that mean I'm single ? ha

[standing on the sidelines]

Now I am totally twisted - you mean I have to have "divorced" on my CRA records???? I'm gonna call tomorrow because that is totally disgusting and I believe an infringement of my individual rights.

why make a big deal about it?? You are divorced. To me single means never legally married.

[mumster1964]

is not being single after being married sort of like trying to be a virgin after you have already had sex?

[Rioe]

why make a big deal about it?? You are divorced. To me single means never legally married.

To many people, including me, being single means not currently in a serious live-in romantic relationship. If that's the case, it shouldn't matter how you legally got there. People who were common-law and broke up don't have to check a box that says "formerly common-law." Not being able to check "single" is, to me and some others from the sounds of it, like discrimination against me because of having a failed marriage. And that is a big deal.