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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 11-19-2010, 10:53 AM
jezabelmom jezabelmom is offline
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Question Tips on responding to ex's Motion affidavit

I am hoping for some tips on how to respond to the ex's affidavit in response to his Motion.

First he did not include form 35.1 or form 13 and I am wondering if he may be exempt?

Next, The Motion is a denunciation of me, complete with a supporting affidavit written by his mom.

He was court ordered to transition from supervised access in a centre, to supervised access in the community and I unfortunately and stupidly agreed to be the supervisor. He would not accept any of my family members, none of his family. Hiring anyone is not feasible financially for either of us.

What happened in reality is very different from what he is claiming. What happened was the access turned out to be more like access to me. He wanted to get back together with me, I refused and it went downhill from there. I didn't even bother to tell my lawyer, mostly because I know that it will boil down to he/said, she said.

We were supposed to be going to family counseling as part of the process which he agreed to and then finally refused sighting his thoughts that the counsellor would be "against him".

I can disprove some of the allegations with written evidence, some I can simply untwist with a simple explanation. However the rest are not based in fact and will be he/said, she said.

My question is: Do I respond to all, there are just so many and my affidavit will turn out to be massive and for the most part centered on me defending myself. (sigh, yet again)

The ex has mentioned our child in terms of how many toys he has waiting for him at home that he is being deprived of because of me....etc..and he talks about how he has been prevented from feeding our child at the access locations, (and, again, apparently my fault), he accused me of bringing the child to the visits "hungry" , therefore making our child cranky and dependant on my care, thus interfering with the ex's access.

He also mentions in his affidavit that I was making-out with my boyfriend at the visits.

How do I respond, I don't want to go down this he/said, she/said road, but I also quite naturally want to defend myself. Question is, do I?

Any advice would be appreciated.
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Old 11-19-2010, 11:28 AM
representingself representingself is offline
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Don't waste your time trying to refute all of his ridiculous accusations.... the Judge wont read it anyways!

Keep your responding affidavit short, to the point and child-centered.

Reply with something to the effect of:

With regards the the Respondents claims in paragraphs 1 to 99, it is the position of the Applicant that the Respondent is fabricating these incidents and that his facetious claims serve only the purpose of intensifying conflict between the parties, and squanders valuable court resources.

Specifically, the Respondents statements in paragraphs 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8 are completely false.

The Respondents statements in paragraphs 2, 5, 9, 10, 12, are exaggerated and utterly preposterous.

Yadda, yadda, yadda....

It is very difficult to resist the temptation to fight back and clear your name, so to speak, but you are sincerely wasting your time, responding with a multi-page affidavit...
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Old 11-19-2010, 11:33 AM
jezabelmom jezabelmom is offline
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Thank you so much, representingself,

This really helps me focus.

Does anyone know if the ex is exempt from submitting a form 35.1 in support of custody/access and a form 13 financial disclosure?

Thank you so much!
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Old 11-19-2010, 12:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by representingself View Post
Don't waste your time trying to refute all of his ridiculous accusations.... the Judge wont read it anyways!

Keep your responding affidavit short, to the point and child-centered.

Reply with something to the effect of:

With regards the the Respondents claims in paragraphs 1 to 99, it is the position of the Applicant that the Respondent is fabricating these incidents and that his facetious claims serve only the purpose of intensifying conflict between the parties, and squanders valuable court resources.

Specifically, the Respondents statements in paragraphs 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8 are completely false.

The Respondents statements in paragraphs 2, 5, 9, 10, 12, are exaggerated and utterly preposterous.

Yadda, yadda, yadda....

It is very difficult to resist the temptation to fight back and clear your name, so to speak, but you are sincerely wasting your time, responding with a multi-page affidavit...
Just a quick thank you from me as well.... I copied and pasted it to a word doc to keep for future reference
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Old 11-19-2010, 12:47 PM
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dadtotheend dadtotheend is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jezabelmom View Post
Next, The Motion is a denunciation of me, complete with a supporting affidavit written by his mom.
Welcome to family law, where misguided litigants declare open season on character attacks.

I agree with the above posts and would add that a statement along the lines of "We reject the allegations contained in (dickhead's) affidavit" can be concise and compelling.

If you get drawn into a rebuttal of each and every false allegation in his affidavit then you will just fall into the gutter with him. Resist that by rejecting them in one short sweet stroke.

Then use the writing space that would otherwise have been wasted on negative energy to present a solid parenting plan that focuses on the child.

Judges are f'n tired of reading character attacks. Let your submission be positve, child centred and future oriented.

Last edited by dadtotheend; 11-19-2010 at 12:51 PM.
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Old 11-19-2010, 12:56 PM
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Document the access times he didn't show up. Send him an email followup outlining that he did not attend the session on X date afterwards.

For times he DOES show up, but refuses to sign the form...1. make sure you have a PVR on you. and 2. Even if HE refuses to sign it, YOU fill it out. Then flip him an email afterwards to document the fact that he kept the access but refused to sign the form.

IF he responds, ignore it. It's icing on the cake. The point is to have a date/time stamp showing the information. Emails of this nature are admissible as affidavit evidence.

I would go a step further with the rest of it.

IN ADDITION to the statements that have already been given to you...you'd want to file YOUR affidavit with truthful, factual, child centered information, that you can prove.

ie. As shown by the email chains and access forms attached as Exhibit ____, the respondent has only kept X out of the last X visits, has refused to sign the access documents on those times he HAS shown up, and has failed to attend any of the agreed to counseling sessions. Therefore I do not believe it is in the child's best interests to increase or modify the existing amount of access and would request of the court that the access schedule continue as per the existing status quo in regards to the days and times.

As my performing a supervisory role has now led to a number of allegations against me by the respondent, I believe that my continued presence in such a capacity is detrimental towards being able to continue to co-parent with the respondent in a positive manner. As it is my wish to be able to work with the respondent, I would respectfully request an alternate supervisor be chosen at the respondent's cost.

Last edited by NBDad; 11-19-2010 at 01:03 PM.
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Old 11-19-2010, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted by NBDad View Post
IN ADDITION to the statements that have already been given to you...you'd want to file YOUR affidavit with truthful, factual, child centered information, that you can prove.

ie. As shown by the email chains and access forms attached as Exhibit ____, the respondent has only kept X out of the last X visits, and has failed to attend any of the agreed to counseling sessions. Therefore I do not believe it is in the child's best interests to increase or modify the existing amount of access and would request of the court that the access schedule continue as per the existing status quo in regards to the days and times.
Agreed, but would add that using the word "failed" is negative energy. Just say "not" in it's place. And a minor point, don't say what you don't believe in, say what you do believe in i.e. "I believe it's in the child's best interest to continue the parenting schedule as per the....."

And also say something along the lines of "Once the respondent establishes a dependable track record of exercising his access time as per the current order, we can discuss the possibility of increasing the access. Until such a time the current order should continue".

IMO that gives a judge something solid to hang his/her hat on and agree with. It speaks to maintaining the ordered status quo, it's future oriented, it touches on the importance of routine in the child's life, it's future oriented, etc etc

(PA day today, I've got too much time on my hands, get outside DTTE)

Last edited by dadtotheend; 11-19-2010 at 01:08 PM.
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Old 11-19-2010, 03:21 PM
CISTEAD CISTEAD is offline
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He is just trying to hurt you.....You have taken away his every other avenue. So he is reduced to this.Don't bite, the judge will see through it in a second.
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