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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 03-25-2010, 02:38 PM
luv2luv luv2luv is offline
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Default An ex that wants it all

Just trying to figure out what can be done.

My boyfriend and his ex has a son whom they share half the time. He pays his full child support (even though they have the child half the time each). He had some paperwork sent to him from her lawyer; in this paperwork she had mentioned only a little about custody of the child (when i say a little i mean pretty much one sentence) the rest of her paperwork stated everything she wanted from alimony (they lived together for almost 3 years and she ended up having an affair-they were never married jsut had a child together), she wanted money for the days that he drops his son off so he can go to work (he drops him off 2 days/week) she doesn't work jsut sits at home lives off the gov't and his CS...so she asked for daycare costs for staying home watching their child.....she wants t go after him for half the house (he wanted to sell the house but if he sold it he would be in the hole if anything-nothing would be made from the house). To make this story short he sent her lawyer paperwork with everythign he wanted with his daugher minus all the money garbage except for the child support she deserves. He is an amazing dad-even my kids look to him as their dad). Well after seeing the paperwork she kept saying she wanted $8000.00 dollars and she would settle everything. Trying to figure out why she wants this moeny cause if anything she left him with debt to pay, stuck with the house he is trying to pay on his own...oh yeah and he paid her first and last for a new place for her. He said he ruefuses to pay for it cause that money would work out to the debt and she says if he don't pay she will go after him for alimony...I am trying to figure out if it is even worth it to fight or to just say here is the money...

It is hard being the one looking in on this cause i am a single mom and i have made it by with my own and raised my kids pretty much on my own with no help...never went after the ex for alimony or anything and I just try to figure out how some women can do this.

Can anyone give me advice on this? Can he do anything about it or is he left paying the $8000 and then the $1000/month for child support? Oh yeah and can she go after him for daycare costs since she is watching her own child while he works? (who comes up with this kind of stuff-really???)

It just bothers me seeing her living at home on mothers allowance and then on top of it receiving a grand from him!!!!!
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Old 03-25-2010, 02:45 PM
diane heart broken diane heart broken is offline
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Huh? He is responsible for looking after the financial needs of his child regardless of her financial situation or economic statis
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Old 03-25-2010, 02:48 PM
luv2luv luv2luv is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by diane heart broken View Post
Huh? He is responsible for looking after the financial needs of his child regardless of her financial situation or economic statis
yeah, and he has been paying the child support for the last year-no questions there. So what do you mean?
It is all the debt she left him with....and wanting him to pay child care on top of his child support for her to watch him the 2 days while he is at work....you don't get paid to babysit your own child plus get full child support and only have your child half the time
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Old 03-25-2010, 02:57 PM
diane heart broken diane heart broken is offline
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While I dont agree that she should be paid to watch her own child you just kind of through me off with mothers allowance comment. The child child has needs full time regardless who has him . Its called child support because its for the child she would have been better to sue for spousal support and go back to school.
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Old 03-25-2010, 03:55 PM
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Compare to the situation where
- she is working full time, making $20k income (could she be imputed for more, based on her skills?)
- he is earning $120K income (wild guess from his CS payment)
- child is in daycare 5 days/week, at $60/day (let's say $15K/yr) - not subsidised, though if she is making <20k it would be FREE (if spots available)

He would be paying 85% of daycare costs, or almost $13000 per year!!!

System-Sponging makes me sick too, but make it a business proposal. He will pay 85% of a fair wage for child-minding for 2days/week. So, about $5K. And he gets official receipts so that he can claim the expense on taxes (and she then is legally supposed to claim it as income).
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Old 03-25-2010, 03:58 PM
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If they have shared parenting, why is he paying full CS vs a set-off amount?
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Old 03-25-2010, 05:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
If they have shared parenting, why is he paying full CS vs a set-off amount?
QuoteForTruth!!!

They have the child 50/50, you calculate the amount that each should pay in CS according to table, and subtract one from the other. That is the amount the higher earner should pay. Here are the guidelines from the Federal Dept of Justice if you aren't sure. The Ontario Family Law Act specifies that the Federal Guidelines must be followed. There is room for flexibility but you can't just ignore them completely.

The courts also will never accept that anyone has an income of $0. At the very least they will imput at least minimum wage, higher if the person has had skilled employment previously.

diane heart broken, as much as you may have been offended by a comment like "living on mother's allowance" the fact is that this mother also has a legal responsibility to support her child, and she is not doing that. The father is.

Back to luv2luv, you aren't clear on the ownership of the house. The couple weren't married, they were common law, unless the exGF had made payments on the house, she has no claim to any of the assets.

She also has no claim for alimony after a 3 year marriage, unless she did something like quit a good paying job and move across the country to be with the BF. This is a joke.

As far as paying her to watch the child 2 days a week, you need to think this over carefully. You want to keep the access level 50/50. If she is caring for the child she may very well try to seek a greater custody level.

She can't actually "go after him for daycare fees". The courts wouldn't support that, but when she found that out she would then try for more access level and try to get over 60%. She doesn't know yet, I'm sure, how 50/50 affects the CS payments.

If you pay her, get receipts, tell her she has to declare the income, and claim the amount as daycare fees. Otherwise tell her to bugger off. I actually think you would be better off using a proper daycare, at least until you have all your legal issues signed and filed. He should just keep the child on his days, arrange daycare and tell her it's none of her business.

Without knowing all of his financial details and what the situation with the house was, just by what you posted I can't see any reason why he would have to pay her any lump sum at all (equalization), any Spousal Support at all, or the full table amount of Child Support. Going by your ballpark figures, I'd say the 50/50 offset child support amount should be more like $825 (he earns around $115k? To be paying $1000K full table?)

Also, the BF should file immediately with Canada Revenue stating that the custody level is 50/50 and the Child Tax Credit should be split 6 months each. This is the law. If the mom complains mention the words "tax fraud". (Actually they wouldn't press charges like that, but it will shut her up. And your BF will fully within the law. Right now the ex is breaking the law receiving full benefits.)
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Old 03-25-2010, 05:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Also, the BF should file immediately with Canada Revenue stating that the custody level is 50/50 and the Child Tax Credit should be split 6 months each. This is the law. If the mom complains mention the words "tax fraud". (Actually they wouldn't press charges like that, but it will shut her up. And your BF will fully within the law. Right now the ex is breaking the law receiving full benefits.)
I did that after we split up and the s**t hit the fan, but it is the law, and tough bananas. It will also strengthen your argument for 50/50 parenting that you applied for something that was rightfully yours.
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Old 03-26-2010, 09:04 AM
luv2luv luv2luv is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
If they have shared parenting, why is he paying full CS vs a set-off amount?
I asked him the same thing. SHe worked last year and made an income and then this year she decided she wasn't goign to work so she quit her job expecting money from him, CS, SS, and money for mother's allowance. So now she is home all day. The child is with the parents each for 2 days and nights thru the week and every other friday till monday which works out to the 50/50 but since she is home all day on her days since she doesn't work and the 2 days that the dad is at work (child is not in school till next year) he figures now she is with the child more. so he thinks he can't fight for that.

ANother thing i try to figure out is how do you get mothers allowance if you are already getting $1000 for CS and money for baby bonus and all those other credits. Isn't it if you are already making enough money you won't qualify for mother's allowance...that is another thing i am trying to figure out if she is lying to the gov't about how much money she gets for CS so she can get more money for mother's allowance.
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Old 03-26-2010, 09:26 AM
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I think most of us were confused by the words "mother's allowance" which I think was used in the 60's (no offence). Do you mean she is receiving welfare from the provincial government?

She is supposed to declare any Child Support or Spousal Support to the welfare office (and I'm out of date too, I don't think it's called "welfare" anymore either, I think it's "Ontario Works" or something). They are supposed to reduce her cheque by that amount. If she isn't declaring it, she is committing fraud. If the father (your BF) knows and is co-operating with that, he is an accessory to fraud.

As far as your schedule goes, the law says that they have equal shared custody as long as they are between 40% and 60%. The fact that she cares for the child during the 2 days doesn't change that they are within 60/40. (Curious what happens on the Monday and Friday when it is his turn?)

If this gets challenged it also makes a big difference in court how involved the dad is with her life, like does he attend at doctor's appointments? Is he checking out schools in the area? The courts will ask about a "Parenting Plan" which is a fancy term just meaning do you know what the heck you are doing as a parent? The dad would have to talk knowledgably about things like what school she will go to, what the plans would be for picking up and dropping off and what they will do about after school care will she go to camp in the summer, and what lessons like skating and piano or swimming she will take.

They want to know he thinks about this stuff and is involved in planning. As long as he knows what he is talking about then he is fine. If he doesn't know her shoe size or when the last time she was at the doctor's, then if he is at the edge of 40% it looks a little worse. Hopefully you get my meaning here.

As far as her quitting work, the legal term is "Intentionally underemployed". She can't quit her job so she can receive support, that is stupid. The court would never allow that. She is capable of working, she has to support herself. Like I said before, they would impute an income to her equal to what she is capable of earning, and support payments would be based on that.

To be clear about your schedule, in 2 weeks (14 days) you each have her 7 nights, which is 50/50, great. She is adding 2 days of babysitting, which is 16 hours which is not even 1 extra day. So you are still within 60/40, you have nothing to worry about.

At most Ontario courthouses (are you in Toronto? Go to 393 University) you can go to a Family Law Information Centre (FLIC) and get a half hour free legal advice with a family lawyer. They will tell you exactly what I have been telling you, but you should get this confirmed because you shouldn't be just doing what some guy on the internet says. Go in with a written list of points and questions, just write out point form what you said in this thread and what some of the replies were and get it all confirmed. Then you can decide if you want to hire a lawyer or not.

I will tell you, Ontario has full day kindergarten now, so how old is she? At 4 she will be in school all day, the mother better be working by then.

You don't have to take her to court, but you can get a lawyer to spell all this out for her in a letter and then offer to negotiate a settlement and reasonable amount of child support.
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