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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #1  
Old 02-18-2006, 08:44 PM
suckerpunched suckerpunched is offline
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Default how can I uncover ex's lies and show the truth

My ex and I were officially divorced in 2002.

She lied to the Ont. courts from day one and I can prove EVERYTHING
however when it comes to me the courts do not care or listen. To the point the judge in her province (as we live in separate provinces) made 2 mistakes in the judgement. 1 being the judge there misspelled the judges name here, and 2 mentions my daughters which I do not have daughters I have a son and daughter.
The judge here saw my case and listened fixed it within reason and the Ontario courts threw it out and seemed to not even bother review facts or look at this case only heard what my ex said and took it as the gospel truth

She told courts repeatedly she was not working was not looking for work yet she hung out @ boyfriend's business daily and claimed to not be paid.
I was forced to represent myself and lost to her and her lies because she gets me so angry in court with her lies. She claimed to not be working and struggles to keep food on table for children yet can afford the luxery of a Cuban vacation for herself. I can prove she was there I can prove she was working. It wasn't until a private investigators report came out suddenly after 16 months there was suddenly an opening for her as a secretary which he didn't have one all those months before while she was "hanging out" there day after day while children in school

We are to exchange income taxes each year I have recieved one hand written copy which was done by her boyfriends business' accountant, he is also friends with him. i can prove things there. I can prove her going to court saying poor me I suffer I only make X amount of monies and I am suffering yet fails to show the courts her true income from rents she collects from rental units which alone are over 15,000.00, that she fails to mention

I opened my own business one that should have done better than what it has been but she got wind and sent letters all over to neighbours family and friends claiming what a deadbeat loser I am check out this website blah blah
She wants the monies then bites the hand that is to pay them. Last year her rental income alone was my yearly income yet the courts there are making me pay close to 3000.00 per month. I am the highest paying court ordered person in my province and I made 15,000.00 last year and I am to pay out close to 3,000.00 per month

When I lived in Ontario I was garnished @ 50% I was in arrears the other 50% each month and if I paid all out of my pocket I still owed her money each month @ 100% of my income. I can prove everything but can never seem to gain the upper hand and show the Ont. courts what the facts are because they will not listen to me and I can prove everything!!! She opens her mouth out comes a lie she sheds a few tears I'm the bad guy I don't get it

Please help what can I do?? I have a file an inch thick ready to go to court and can prove it all. I can not pay these supports it is well beyond my means and right now I am close to 97,000. in arrears due to SPOUSAL. Child support is not an issue even if beyond what I make but atleast with in reason. I shouldn't be still paying spousal 4 years total later and her income is over 35grand a year, especially when I can prove she lied through her teeth under oath.

I've lost everything, my home my clothes,dignity, self respect, and so much more
please help
  #2  
Old 02-18-2006, 11:48 PM
sasha1 sasha1 is offline
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Default What am I missing?

Something's not right here... even the worst of the worst people aren't ordered to pay out more than they earn! You'll have to be more specific about the order of events, etc. Was a court order established for CS and spousal when you had much higher income or something? What province do you live in, and how do you know you are the highest-paying supporter?
  #3  
Old 02-19-2006, 12:15 AM
suckerpunched suckerpunched is offline
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Default sasha

ex wife was ordered twice the amount of spousal support she receives in child support

NO ONE understands how I can pay what the judges ordered not even the judge here in the maritimes.

My case has baffled not only common everyday people but several lawyers.
Nothing about my case is right.

She went to court and on top of child support wanted spousal. Child support is not the issue, never was. She told courts she had no skills to work yet she did as a receptionist and hung out at her boyfriend's place of employment day after day answering phones and such and claimed she was not working there despite our children being in school all day long, while we were going to court. I can dispute this as I have proof the judge in Ont never even looked at when SHE submitted it, as well as PI report.

I live in the Maritimes and the people who told me I am the highest payer are an extremly reliable source or I wouldn't have said it. Anything I say I can back up in court but I am trying to find a way to get this heard in court.

In my line of work I get laid off for a couple months in the winter and arrears mount as unemployment is garnished, my wages I brought home after taxes is garnished @ 50% if I clear 1300.00 every 2 weeks when working and 1/2 goes to her we each get 650 every 2 weeks my judgement is 2846.00 per month! so each month I am in arrears. This is when I lived in Ont. One wonders why I moved as I couldn't afford to live.

I also had to pay for 57 % of her schooling which she claims to have dropped out of, it was a hobby class no fail no pass she couldn't afford the entire session is 433.00 I was ordered to pay 1090.00 plus babysitting costs for 2 nights a week when classes are one night a week and it was a total of 2 months course which I had to pay for 10 months, and she never submitted proof of registar or anything. She claims she had to drop out because she couldn't afford it yet 2 months before she buys a brand new car and purchased vanity plates that ran 1/2 the cost of the actual total cost of class she claimed to sign up for. here's a kicker she first claimed it would take 3-4 years to complete it takes 2 months from start to finish and the judge awarded her 10 months

Doesn't sound right??? you're right it doesn't and that is why I am trying to find a way to get this back to court to show the judges she manipulated them and the system.
  #4  
Old 02-19-2006, 12:21 PM
Grace Grace is offline
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Default Material Change

After a court makes a spousal support order, either spouse can apply to have it increased or decreased if there has been a material change in circumstances. For example, you may be able to reduce your payments if you recently lost your job, if your spouse recently remarried or if your spouse was able to get a job. Much will depend on the circumstances of each case and whether the "material change" was foreseeable. This is an area where legal advice should be sought before making any application.

Was there a time limit placed on the spousal support, or a review date?
  #5  
Old 02-19-2006, 04:07 PM
suckerpunched suckerpunched is offline
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Default Grace

It was an interm order.

I went to court here and the judge here looked at the facts and tried to fix the problem. My spousal supports were dropped she went to court said I made X amount of money while in Ont, and that my payments including spousal should be what they were then ( 2 years before), said I was hiding out and refusing to work, yet I took every necessary step to open my own business, and was honest to the courts and submitted all records. If I was refusing to work why would I open my own business?

Never has she shown the courts her income taxes only what she provides and fails to show everything. They need to see a true revenue canada copy, while I have submitted everything to the courts.

I know this all sounds out of wack but this case is, everyone says this can't be, judges can not do this but they are and I am living proof. I live with this every day knowing I will never again own my own home, I have no savings, and I will never be able to retire. She's 35 yrs old can work and is working I am close to 40 not old by any means but with no future ahead of me until and unless I can clear up the damage she has done to me in courts. I just don't see how.

I am not a bad person, I am hard working even though I have no reason to want to get out of bed each day and work knowing I am getting no where I still do each and every day 7 days a week day and night I try my best but it is never enough.
  #6  
Old 02-19-2006, 04:38 PM
god knows the truth god knows the truth is offline
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Do you feel your situation is too unfathomable to believe, and that, to tell anyone, they will think you are not telling the entire truth, or you must have done something that your not saying? Well I believe you with all my heart--I've had lawyers tell me here in ontario that they "have never seen anything as bizarre as mine before", referring to the last several years of my court situation. It's not something that I'll go into detail with now;I've given bits and pieces on this forum but right now I'm almost shaking because I can sooooooo relate to what you're going through. Honesty is the best policy but for some reason it seems the most callous and cold-hearted the person the more they 'win'. So much $ had been spend in court and the majority of it has been on craziness. I worked hard and accumaulated things b/f I even met my ex and now I have very little compared. I start therapy in may b/c there is and has been so much trauma( and I'm a strong person) that I don't want to be dragged down anymore. I want answers but no one can give them to me. I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd say I'm going to therapy but many huge injustices have been on-going. I read the symptoms of depression and post traumatic stress that were posted and I'm relieved b/c at least now I have a name for what I feel behind the scenes when no one is looking(baffled, dumbfounded, sad, disillusioned with human compassion etc.) hold your head high b/c this is our secular world and "greater is He who is in me than is in the world".
Note: Suckerpunched, this is why my alias is 'God knows the truth' because...He does!!!!
Take care of yourself; I truly mean that. How does your ex sleep at night????!!!
  #7  
Old 02-19-2006, 05:26 PM
sunday sunday is offline
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Default lies

I'm sad to say I'm another victim of absolute evil craziness!!

Yes, callous evil people manage to get ahead without a blink of an eye!!

Who came up with "honesty is the best policy"?? It hasn't worked for me here on earth!!

Yes, god knows the truth!!

To all who have been dragged through the mud over and over again...you are not alone!!!

Everyone, please take good care.
  #8  
Old 02-19-2006, 09:06 PM
Grace Grace is offline
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I'm with all you, the court system is not for the weak kneed and you never know how or what a Judge will rule. It is a crap shot. Interim orders can be made with only affidavit evidence and you can basically say whatever you want in them.

Suckerpunched, I found this:

The purpose of interim support is to ensure the spouse has the income required to maintain a reasonable standard of living pending trial having regard to the income and means of both parties. Capacity to earn income is not relevant on an interim application.
Reference: Cafik v. Cafik, [1993] O.J. No. 683 (S.C.J.)
Reference: Zucchiatti v. Griffiths, [1989] O.J. No. 437 (Dist. Ct.)

Sounds to me like you didn't finish through the court system. And this order has been in effect since 2002? Do you have a separation agreement which addresses spousal support?
  #9  
Old 02-20-2006, 10:07 AM
suckerpunched suckerpunched is offline
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Default Grace

I've been to court over and over. I was there in court here last year the judge here said no more spousal. She went to court there did not notify me or my lawyer of her imprending court date she went in said she was in need, lied some, more court ordered I continue her spousal threw out judges ruling That was when we got court papers from there with judge here's name wrong on the very first page twice, and the sex of my children wrong. It said I have daughters I do not have daughters I have one son one daughter. We are offically divorced as of 2002.

What can I do to make courts listen to what I have to say. Lawyers there did nothing for me but take my money . Friend finally hooked me up with a lawyerfriend who listened (he doesn't do divorce so) in turn hooked me with a lawyerfriend. He couldn't make court date sent me to ask for continuance on these grounds judge said no I had to defend myself right there and I am in no means a lawyer. I can not fight her on my own her lies anger me to the point I shut down. What evidence I did have I could not submit then even though judge looked right at it in his hand, because I didn't submit them proper because I didn't have a lawyer.

I have more than enough evidence to discredit her my file on her lies alone is an inch thick, and can prove everything that can out of her mouth was a lie, but how do I make the courts listen to ME for a change? Any ideas?
  #10  
Old 02-20-2006, 10:50 AM
Grace Grace is offline
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I think your only route under these circumstances is to find yourself a good, experienced family law lawyer and go back to court and get this finally resolved. Perhaps if your paper work had been properly submitted and your lawyer had shown up this could have been settled. Normally when one lawyer can't make it to court, the opposing lawyer will ask for an adjournment as a professional courtesy.
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