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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 08-31-2019, 02:04 PM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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Default Exclusive possession

Has anyone had success filing a motion? I can't let my kids live like this anymore. They see me sleeping on the couch, not eating, hanging my clothes on a banister. He emails me a dozen time a day demanding to be told when we'll leave the house so he can gather his stuff, even though I go out regularly. He's blackmailing me. He's using who knows what drugs up there. He's stopped paying all three bills he was paying. He turns the air conditioning on full blast when it's 11C out at night and I'm freezing in the living room. My kids keep asking when he's leaving because we're all tiptoeing around and afraid to go upstairs.

I am afraid to file because from the time he's served until there's a decision, he will be living under our roof. I'm scared for my kids and I'm scared for myself.
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Old 08-31-2019, 02:17 PM
StuckinAB StuckinAB is offline
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Hi,

To be honest everything you described will not give you exclusive possession. A lawyer may attempt to ask for it but unless there is a DV charge, it unlikely. Going through litigation in the same house is hell, so I feel for you. I would not attempt that to make him even more crazy imho. Try your best to disengage. Dont even read the emails.
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Old 08-31-2019, 02:25 PM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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OMG I want to curl into a ball and die
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Old 08-31-2019, 02:41 PM
StuckinAB StuckinAB is offline
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Is it possible to leave the house all day and return at night?
Has he been violent or destructive? If not ignore him! If he does get a protection order.

You need counseling, read some divorce books, or find a support group. If you focus all upon energy in getting him out you will continue to deteriorate mentally because it takes time. Your children are watching YOU and how you deal with this. Focus on them!!
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Old 08-31-2019, 02:57 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StuckinAB View Post
Is it possible to leave the house all day and return at night?
Has he been violent or destructive? If not ignore him! If he does get a protection order.

You need counseling, read some divorce books, or find a support group. If you focus all upon energy in getting him out you will continue to deteriorate mentally because it takes time. Your children are watching YOU and how you deal with this. Focus on them!!
that is really good advice. She needs to disengage from him, dont communicate with him for the most part and grow a thicker skin. If it is so hard living there then she needs to look at places she and her kids can move to. I know if I had kids at home and was scared for their safety, they would not be there.

He knows what buttons to push to get a reaction. She has to stop reacting to him and focus on getting things settled.
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Old 08-31-2019, 03:06 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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I donít know if anyone in your life has given you any tough love. But you kind of seem like you need it.

Get your children and yourself out of that house. Move. Put your house up for sale. Sell it. Put the proceeds in trust. Offer your ex something - cause he is going to get something. Sometimes in life we make bad decisions. When it comes to marriage, your bad decision is going to cost you. Start working on accepting it. Put on your big girl panties and find a solution. You seem like youíve started with the job. And the mortgage payments, etc. But it also seems like youíre fighting for a house- at the expense of your sanity and your kids safety.
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Old 08-31-2019, 03:49 PM
sucessfuljourney sucessfuljourney is offline
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You must first understand that being a women does not automatically entitle you to exclusive possession of the matrimonial home - the same way that it does not automatically entitle you to sole custody, supervise access, imputed income, etc.

Those days of women coming out on top in family courts and getting whatever they wanted just because they are women are long gone.

We are a civilized society and we have laws. Laws that entitle both spouses to the home, and laws that entitle the children to both parents. and finally, laws that keep both parents responsible for child support obligations.
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Old 08-31-2019, 03:58 PM
sucessfuljourney sucessfuljourney is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
and your kids safety.
For any mother that may be reading this, please don't assume such a fear is a valid reason to remove your kids from their father and deny access. This poster in particular had many allegations of abuse against the father of her children, and put them through supervised access with their very own father knowing he was never a danger to them in the first place and that she was going to give him lots of parenting time on consent anyways. Which she eventually did.

Always love your children more than you hate your ex. I know this case, the children aren't biological kids, but don't want any moms out there picking up the wrong vibe and gaming the system putting their kids through hell and back after a separation.
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Old 08-31-2019, 04:10 PM
cranberry cranberry is offline
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Successfuljourney you also need to reslize that there are women and children in danger. I gather you went through hell with your ex; it should not have happened.

Take a step back and accept that not every ex wife is yours. Could you stop attacking these women and take note that yes, there are horrible abusive men out there that women and children need protection from. Stop bashing them because of your experience.
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Old 08-31-2019, 04:12 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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Please be a bit more self-aware before spouting off MRA mysognists crap about all women. The OP and her husband have owend the house together for four months. And he is an a abusive cokehead. Read the room before you come in here pretending to know everything.

OP, you are incredibly stressed which can lead to you making very bad decisions. You need to lower your stress by taking small, immediate steps. You donít need to get constant email notifications stressing you out. Take the kids to your mothers for the day, but pack for two days (can you stay until Tuesday when the kids go off to school and you start work -pack for that just in case) Go out and get a new phone and new phone number (you donít need anything fancy, just to get you through the next few months). Give the new number to anyone important, but donít cancel the old number and donít give the new number to your ex. Do the same with email. You can check the old phone for emails, txts, and phone calls ONCE a day. No more. Even better if you have someone you trust do that for you and pass on only the relevant messages. Your ex gets ONE message. ďI am out of the house now. Please move out as your promised. I am unavailable for the next day and can not respond to messages or phone calls.Ē Use the other phone for everything else. Probably when things have calmed down you will be able to go back to your original phone number/email.

You really need to centre yourself and stop this adrenaline coursing through your body. Divorce is a big Apple and you can only eat it all by taking one bite at a time. You are trying to shove the whole thing in your mouth at once.
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