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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 02-29-2012, 11:35 PM
KidsAre1st KidsAre1st is offline
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Default Animal abuse accusations?!

Custody/Access issues (of course)...

There is a pending motion for expanding access by the respondent (father). Has received reply affidavit from the mother citing past (2yrs ago) animal abuse accusations (amongst other attempts to mud-sling and bash his parenting abilities) as reasoning to not allow the proposed expanded access. I might add that no actual evidence (aside from the swearing of the affidavit itself) has been provided from the applicant's side. The father is currently in supervised access (interim order), which he agreed to, as there had been an extended period of no access, (denial by the mother), and to gain additional third-party evidence of his interactions with the child. Access has occurred numerous times and all of the resports from the centre have been good (of course ). So..
My question is, has anyone ever experienced animal abuse allegations as described above? With they even carry any weight with the courts? Any thoughts/opinions/further questions are welcomed.
Thanks
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Old 03-01-2012, 01:13 AM
beebie beebie is offline
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For one thing 2 years ago is pretty dated.
May be the right time to renew your membership with PETA and go vegetarian.
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Old 03-01-2012, 07:13 AM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Originally Posted by KidsAre1st View Post
Custody/Access issues (of course)...

There is a pending motion for expanding access by the respondent (father). Has received reply affidavit from the mother citing past (2yrs ago) animal abuse accusations (amongst other attempts to mud-sling and bash his parenting abilities) as reasoning to not allow the proposed expanded access. I might add that no actual evidence (aside from the swearing of the affidavit itself) has been provided from the applicant's side. The father is currently in supervised access (interim order), which he agreed to, as there had been an extended period of no access, (denial by the mother), and to gain additional third-party evidence of his interactions with the child. Access has occurred numerous times and all of the resports from the centre have been good (of course ). So..
My question is, has anyone ever experienced animal abuse allegations as described above? With they even carry any weight with the courts? Any thoughts/opinions/further questions are welcomed.
Thanks
Common actually. The one thing that people who make false allegations of domestic violence tend to do is make allegations that the person abused household pets.

One thing the courts haven't dealt with is all the free "DV" information out there on the internet. You get parents researching these websites then trying to align their "stories" in their affidavit materials to this content.

One thing you should do is type in the paragraphs from the affidavit and slowly put them into Google. Some times these parents who think they are being "clever" by doing this actually just cut-and-paste the text.

Google will find like or exact matches. If you find one. Simply reply by attaching the exact text and sight it in the affidavit.

I have seen two fathers who have actually used a plagiarism checker on their spouses affidavit materials. It was incredible what they were able to prove was not original content.

Furthermore, one father was wise enough to pull the other parent's solicitor's past clients public court documents. There was a very concerning pattern of the same statements of abuse in each filing. Attached as evidence and wham, judge went nuts.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 03-01-2012, 08:48 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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First, deny it.

Put the burden of proof on her to prove her accusations. Request she provide evidence of such and state that, if she was so upset about this, why is it only coming up now - 2 years later - in a custody dispute? Why didn't she notify the appropriate authorities at the time of the alleged incident?
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Old 03-01-2012, 09:57 AM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
First, deny it.

Put the burden of proof on her to prove her accusations. Request she provide evidence of such and state that, if she was so upset about this, why is it only coming up now - 2 years later - in a custody dispute? Why didn't she notify the appropriate authorities at the time of the alleged incident?
I suspect because the person making the claims reads too many message boards on the internet and DV websites.



Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 03-01-2012, 10:03 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
I suspect because the person making the claims reads too many message boards on the internet and DV websites.



Good Luck!
Tayken
True.

It is the "throw enough shit at the wall and lets see what sticks" syndrome...
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Old 03-01-2012, 10:16 AM
billiechic billiechic is offline
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hey wait...it does happen. Most abusers begin with animals...that is undeniable. Mine did..my poor bird and dog.

I'm not saying that any of whatthis poster is being accused of is true, but there is definitely a reason this kind of past history is included. Again, it is the unfortunate truth that many a lawyer will coach a client to tell a bunch of untruths just to get the upper hand. Sucks when this stuff really did happen and when you put it in an affadavit the court doesnt beleive you though

I think the best thing is to deny it and let it go. If it's not true then no need to challenge for evidence, it doesn't exist! You will only send the ex on a witch hunt for evidence, or something else to accuse you of.
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Old 03-01-2012, 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
I'm not saying that any of whatthis poster is being accused of is true, but there is definitely a reason this kind of past history is included. Again, it is the unfortunate truth that many a lawyer will coach a client to tell a bunch of untruths just to get the upper hand. Sucks when this stuff really did happen and when you put it in an affadavit the court doesnt beleive you though
This is why the DV industry should be EQUALLY involved in the "false allegations" market that is being sold by many negative advocate solicitors. If too many people cry wolf to get what they want... When the wolf really does come the person crying wolf could get killed.
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Old 03-01-2012, 01:57 PM
billiechic billiechic is offline
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Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
When the wolf really does come the person crying wolf could get killed.
I totally agree Tayken. Rather than allowing this kind of crap to be spewed there should be some sort of screening process to determine if there is any truth to the accusations. Perhaps mandate an assessment with an abuse counsellor and a lie detector (although this may come out lying for true victims because of the threat of punishment from their abuser). Or probably a full mental assessment of both parties to determine any issues.

I know those suggestions are intrusive, and may permanently damage one's reputation socially and even professionally. But when you are truly being abused, and nobody believes you becasue so many false allegations are out there, then submitting yourself to this kind of scrutiny would be much less damaging than the emotional turmoil of having your concerns brushed aside, your words claimed false, and having to suffer continual abuse even after escaping because the ex continues to abuse you using your child. I would be willing to do it.

Regardless, something has to be done.
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Old 03-01-2012, 02:00 PM
KidsAre1st KidsAre1st is offline
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Quote:
Common actually. The one thing that people who make false allegations of domestic violence tend to do is make allegations that the person abused household pets.
The desperation some people will resort to.

Quote:
One thing you should do is type in the paragraphs from the affidavit and slowly put them into Google. Some times these parents who think they are being "clever" by doing this actually just cut-and-paste the text.

Google will find like or exact matches. If you find one. Simply reply by attaching the exact text and sight it in the affidavit.
Something I would not have thought of! Thanks!

Quote:
I'm not saying that any of whatthis poster is being accused of is true, but there is definitely a reason this kind of past history is included. Again, it is the unfortunate truth that many a lawyer will coach a client to tell a bunch of untruths just to get the upper hand. Sucks when this stuff really did happen and when you put it in an affadavit the court doesnt beleive you though

I think the best thing is to deny it and let it go. If it's not true then no need to challenge for evidence, it doesn't exist! You will only send the ex on a witch hunt for evidence, or something else to accuse you of.
I am the respondent's partner (which I am sure contributes greatly to the animosity the mother is throwing at the father). We have pets and a child together, of which I see firsthand that no abuse in any form exisits.
I firmly believe that the mother is bringing these accusations forward to deflect the situation she has going in her residence. She is self-employed as a "dog trainer", and as such brings aggressive animals into the home to board and/or train.
The high road is our stance on these accusations, as they are untrue. We have a third party affidavit detailing the dates/times where my partner has babysat a co-worker's children AND dogs (they have severe separation anxiety). I'm confident on a positive outcome, it is just sad that one party has to resort to these types of false accusations.
Thanks again everyone for your comments/advice.
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