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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #171  
Old 08-29-2011, 10:01 PM
pokeman pokeman is offline
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thanks Tayken , appeciate your advice

i have the utmost sympathy for a women or children whom are abused by a father and husband ...

however this topic is about the 'preferential treatment' women receive and the website is my point - though my spouse attacked me and put her foot on my childrens necks till they blacked out I am treated similar to man whom attacked her ...

some find the topic unsettling - but real life is like that

men get little to no custody and whats in those web pages is one of the reasons why - the time for giving peace a chance has come and gone, the new era is men need to speak up not be compliant - complain - be vigilent - be aware of those handling your file - carry signs in the streets - file human rights complaints - volunteer at the mens group - and be aware only those that practise the discrimination in the web pages i printed will try and silence them.
  #172  
Old 09-14-2011, 11:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pokeman View Post
i am a father of 3 children, the mother violently abused them and me

over the next 3 years i faced a system that i can only describe as out of
control , as I built up infrastructure to care for my children the mother and her advisarial lawyer tore it down

in court i was the villian , 3 years after separating the mother was still sending me pictures of tombstones while in court her lawyer was calling me the unfriendly parent.

i had been told by several women professionals associated with my case that 'children should be with their mothers' , this included a court ordered therapist whom its now known was telling my children things such as 'your a girl, moms a girl, girls live together' ...

yup she got custody and i have less access than the 'traditional' dad, i am in calgary alberta canada and I believe the 'system' here is over run with those sympethetic to the idea of 'children with mother' that they will run right over a good father.

today I see my children only what the court allows , i have all but given up and i am 50/50 leaving here ...

you can read my story and my friend John's storey at http://www.wheretheylie.com , John was handcuffed many times here in Calgary cause his children were running away from their abusive mother;
Alberta courts can be some of the most biased in Canada. I see this kind of story all the time, and I lived a similar life for 5 years until I finally got custody of my kids. Problems have slowed, but not stopped. After the third time before our case management judge who refuses to change the custody back to her, she then used the police and Child and Family Services (Alberta's CAS) who now don't take any complaints from her either. Now she is being more reasonable, but onoy because she wants me to agree to shared parenting. Only because women get preferential treatment in courts, was she able to abuse the system for so long. It has cost me over $220K in the past 9 years, and I doubt we are done in court yet.
  #173  
Old 10-12-2011, 04:19 PM
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no , I do not.
  #174  
Old 10-13-2011, 11:34 AM
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Yes, without doubt, biological mothers get preferential treatment in Canada's family court industry!

The best overview/analogy I use is comparing Las Vegas to family court. Everyone knows (or should know) that when sitting at any gaming table the 'house' has the advantage and the longer you sit at the table or pull the lever that house advantage certainty will prevail. This is a fact/natural law! and the key motivation of any gaming house is to keep you at the table.

The family court industry is identical. The 'house' is the system/structure composed of lawyers,judges ( who, at $250 k annual salary are in the top 1% of wage earners in this country) court staff, social workers, psychologists, assessors, et al.

To reap the billions of dollars ( family court is a true false economy) this industry commands, it needs for you to sit at the 'table' as long as possible.

While in Vegas, people sit at the table ( judge=pit boss ) in hopes of winning a 'bundle'. While sitting in family court someone is pursuing the 'winner take all' position. This is usually translated to sole custody, spousal support, equalization , etc.

A quick parting note to a vast subject. Although my experience has validated mother bias in family court, I wish to stress this position does NOT invalidate the many, many instances of mothers and women that have had their children, property and futures completely destroyed by this same system.

In my own extended family I have seen children handed to fathers that are dangerously incompetent while the mother watches in horror for the other shoe to drop. I've seen hard working women responsible women paying SS for life to a sociopath ex husband.

We are all prisoners of our time and family court has evolved over time into the slick casino machine.

Stay single !
  #175  
Old 10-13-2011, 11:54 AM
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Maybe the problem is that sociopathic ex's recieve preferential treatment? Though I am sure our ex's say we are the problem lol.
  #176  
Old 10-13-2011, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by fireweb13 View Post
Maybe the problem is that sociopathic ex's recieve preferential treatment? Though I am sure our ex's say we are the problem lol.
You raise a very interesting point fireweb!
I keeping my response to the spirit of this thread, I know of two social justice professors that have secured research funding to design a study examining personality disorders and the interaction with family courts.

My experience with family court also supports the notion that litigants that present with cluster B personality disorders ( often 'borderline' with females and 'anti-social' with males) are in fact rewarded by the family court industry and given preferential treatment.

This effect may, in fact, be stronger than 'gender bias'.

It makes some sense when you consider that the family court industry depends on conflict and these personality disorders feed off conflict.....a match made in heaven.

It also appears that many of the women/mothers ( they also sound reasonable with healthy personalities) that have posted gross maltreatment at the hands of the courts have personality disordered ex partners
  #177  
Old 10-13-2011, 01:07 PM
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I see it as you either have to dedicate your entire being to fighting family court against a sociopath, or have either enough money for a lawyer or no money at all. When you dedicate so much of yourself it makes it very easy to break down and settle as you feel lost.
Also Judges do not look into why allegations are made, they either run with it or ignore it. In my case, my ex accused me and half my family (including dead father) of abusing our daughter. The courts saw it as crazy and dismissed it even though I lost 3 months of access. She had no reprecussions at all.
I am sure lots of people, men and woman have these stories.
The family court destroys hard working middle to lower income people who are just above the legal aid limit to the point where many either take their lives or abandon their children.
  #178  
Old 10-13-2011, 03:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by staysingle View Post
My experience with family court also supports the notion that litigants that present with cluster B personality disorders ( often 'borderline' with females and 'anti-social' with males) are in fact rewarded by the family court industry and given preferential treatment.
William Eddy talks to this a lot and so does Christine Ann Lawson. I think any Axis II disorder (of the personality) can really cause the general process of the family law system into a loop. A lot has been researched on Cluster B disorders but, equally difficult are Cluster C disordered individuals. (Avoidant, Dependent, etc...) They all are driven though from "fears"... Fear of abandonment, fear of social situations, fear of being judged, fear of control, fear of...

Quote:
Originally Posted by staysingle View Post
This effect may, in fact, be stronger than 'gender bias'.
Axis II disorders is roughly equal among the genders.


Quote:
Originally Posted by staysingle View Post
It makes some sense when you consider that the family court industry depends on conflict and these personality disorders feed off conflict.....a match made in heaven.
This is what happens when an Axis II high-conflict personality (HCP) meets up with a negative advocate solicitor. All the projections, distortions and other fears become "truths" (emotional reasoning/emotional facts) in their "sworn" materials. But, it is easy for a trained individual to pull out the pattern of behaviour in large volumes of affidavits.

Quote:
Originally Posted by staysingle View Post
It also appears that many of the women/mothers ( they also sound reasonable with healthy personalities) that have posted gross maltreatment at the hands of the courts have personality disordered ex partners
Equal balance of Axis II disorders between the genders. 10% of the population has an Axis II disorder. 10% of family law litigation goes to trial. There is a reason these two numbers are the same.

Good Luck!
Tayken
  #179  
Old 10-13-2011, 04:24 PM
staysingle staysingle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
William Eddy talks to this a lot and so does Christine Ann Lawson. I think any Axis II disorder (of the personality) can really cause the general process of the family law system into a loop. A lot has been researched on Cluster B disorders but, equally difficult are Cluster C disordered individuals. (Avoidant, Dependent, etc...) They all are driven though from "fears"... Fear of abandonment, fear of social situations, fear of being judged, fear of control, fear of...



Axis II disorders is roughly equal among the genders.




This is what happens when an Axis II high-conflict personality (HCP) meets up with a negative advocate solicitor. All the projections, distortions and other fears become "truths" (emotional reasoning/emotional facts) in their "sworn" materials. But, it is easy for a trained individual to pull out the pattern of behaviour in large volumes of affidavits.



Equal balance of Axis II disorders between the genders. 10% of the population has an Axis II disorder. 10% of family law litigation goes to trial. There is a reason these two numbers are the same.

Good Luck!
Tayken
An important/common feature of personality disordered folks is their inability to see middle ground or compromising positions in negotiations. The technical psychological term is splitting and the disordered personality see the other as all good or completely bad...no gray or middle view.

This is why if your up against a personality disorder in divorce they quickly bail out of collaborative law or mediation, they simply cannot tolerate any ambiguity.
  #180  
Old 10-14-2011, 07:16 PM
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still no, have some friends (fathers) , who did got SOLE and mom was fine...
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