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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce. |
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#11
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Here are four recommended by my lawyer in the GTA: Stella Kavoukian - stella.connections@gmail.com Shely Polak - shely.polak@gmail.com Howard Hurwitz - howardhhurwitz@gmail.com Christine Kim - info@christinekimmediation.com I heard very good things about Howard Hurwitz, but he was fully booked and not accepting new families when I was looking (but that was last November). Last edited by iona6656; 09-03-2019 at 10:21 AM. |
#12
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And yes they disagree about public versus private Montessori school. He’s a former public school teacher for high school math. Firm believer that Montessori education is best and there would be no cost for her to send them. She doesn’t want to do it though because it’s far (30min drive). Her nanny can walk the kids to and from the local public school. Montessori isn’t worth the commitment in her view. |
#13
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Is it really fair to say they’ve only known one parent as caregiver? She’s not a SHM. She leaves the house at 7:30a and returns at 6:30p each day. The real caregiver is the live-in nanny who is with them 24/7. Part of his struggle and issue is that he’s so close and able to take care of them but the nanny has more rights than he does at this point. He’s been seeing them consistently on Wednesday’s and weekends and takes them to extracurriculars during the week because she can’t. |
#14
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As to the battle- you want to listen to what Janus said. Quote:
My ex tried that argument that he's available to be before and afterschool care. Our PC said what the courts will say: childcare on mom's time is covered by mom. Childcare on dad's time is covered by dad. PCs are useful- they are. But both parents need to go into it with a realistic expectation of what they would get in court. From there- work it backwards and get the PC to help do a child focused transitional schedule. |
#15
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Is best interests not governed by the principle of "maximum contact"? Somewhere along this journey that came up so I have been operating under the assumption that the courts believe it is in the best interests of the children to maximize contact with both parents, so long as there is no impediment (i.e. they're both good citizens, live reasonably close, etc.). Am I wrong in thinking that? Quote:
He is getting a new lawyer so at this point I don't think we'll be sending anything but I will definitely make the suggestion to revise the schedule. The first lawyer was nice but hasn't been able to give any clear direction about anything. Soon as she talks us into one path she starts talking us out of it... maybe that's just lawyers for you! |
#16
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@iona6656
If you don't mind my asking, why doesn't the father have more access in your case? Is there a specific reason? Personal question I know.. obviously don't have to answer if you're not comfortable, I'm just curious and trying to understand your perspective. Also thank you for the recommendations!! |
#17
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Reading between the lines... maximum contact is not really a thing. In practice judges usually find that for kids who are not failing out of school, maintaining the status quo is usually a good option and in the best interests of the kid. Even when the custodial parent sucks, judges still like to keep kids with their habitual parent. Quote:
What you are saying represents what family law should be, but not what it is. Quote:
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#18
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My daughter's father has anger management issues, is the kind way to put it. It was mostly directed at me during the marriage. But after our D3 was born, he sometimes put his anger above her well being. The day we separated- shit hit the fan, and he made a very specific and horrible threat of violence against our daughter. And me. And just generally did some screwy shit. Criminal charges followed. He says it was his wakeup call. I hope it was. Since then- we've gone through the litigation process- but settled with the help of our lawyers, and a good coparent therapist, who is trained in domestic violence, to work on a plan that ensures D3 gets parenting time with both parents- while affording me some reasonable protections. That's how I got sole custody- but even then there are a lot of provisions in our final order to ensure he gets consulted on decisions related to D3's health and education. I just have final say if we can't agree. Ex is working up to EOW- from Friday after school to drop off at school Monday morning. And Wednesday - Thursday overnights (from school to school). When she's 6, we'll meet again with our PC. If you feel judgment coming from me- it's because it is. Your situation kind of feels like dad has someone to help with kids (you)- and has some sellers regret (cause the first agreement is him taking the easy out) and now wants more time with kids as they're easier to take care of. But even if that's true or not- if dad isn't a safety risk and can take care of the kids- he should absolutely get more time with his kids- regardless of his motivations. But I'm with Janus- I don't think you guys are getting it outside of litigation. If you want to save the legal fees- get a good PC to convince mom to work up to the EOW + 1 midweek. With a hard date on when you guys can reassess custody and access WITHOUT a material change in circumstances. If dad has been a great dad and the kids are okay- mom would have a hella hard time proving that he shouldn't have shared custody 50/50. |
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custody schedule, parenting coordinator, parenting time |
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