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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 08-20-2019, 08:19 PM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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Default He's a theif

I told my husband last week that I'm done. I gave him another chance to admit he's an addict but he said he was only taking medicinal marijuana. Anyhow, as I've said, he locked me out of our bedroom several weeks ago. He's always home because he's been on short-term disability since May, after his car accident.

Tonight, because he still has no clue I can see his Twitter account, he posted that he's in L.A. for the next three days, catching the Dodgers games! I heard him go out at 2:30 am last night but figured he was getting food or something. Sure enough, just went into my room and he's gone. So while collecting short-term, he's flown off on a vacation! He's spending all his inheritance and insurance money and now he wants half my house??? This is insane!

Edited: I spelled thief wrong in my haste...so embarrassing
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Old 08-20-2019, 08:51 PM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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So I've been Googling and apparently you can go on vacation while on short-term. I'm sorry but I don't get it. He's collecting money and spending it on trips? This system is broken.
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  #3  
Old 08-20-2019, 09:05 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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I believe the only time you can't leave the country is when you are collecting EI ?

Ok so now you have insurmountable proof to convince yourself totally that he's despicable.

Move forward.

Sorry you have to go through this.
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Old 08-20-2019, 09:18 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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Well you told him it was over....

If you want to escalate things:

If you find his behavior unsettling, perhaps call a security company and have a good system installed. Remove all of his belongings and put into a storage facility (this is important so he doesn't use the excuse he has to get back into the house to retrieve his personal belongings. If he says that you forgot to pack something you make sure he lists it and you will retrieve it for him)

Hire a lawyer

File for divorce with Order for immediate exclusive possession of the matrimonial home.

I know many people will disagree with this, but sometimes someone has to make the move. At the very least, he will have to file a response a/o get a lawyer.

Or ... do nothing
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Old 08-20-2019, 09:52 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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Arabian has given great advice. If you don't escalate things the situation will languish and he will drive you to the poor house. Now is not the time to feel sorry for him. He is not thinking about you at all. Regain some peace and sense of safety so you can focus on the next steps. You can only feel safe if he is removed from the home. You can't be living under the same roof with an unstable unhinged person. I did it for 6 months. I became a shell of a human. Was down to 100 lbs and could no longer function. Put yourself and your kids first.
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Old 08-21-2019, 07:15 AM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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I’d be thinking these 3 days are an amazing opportunity to get your ducks in a row. Put the big girl pants on and take care of business
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Old 08-21-2019, 07:53 AM
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get copies of last 3 years income tax returns & NOAs
bank statements
resume & copy of any trade certification/union membership
any other relevant financial information you deem important.

If/when you go to court, his legal aid lawyer will stall your matter for may, many months when you go through proper procedure to request these documents. You have an opportunity to obtain them now hopefully.
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Old 08-21-2019, 08:04 AM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Well you told him it was over....

If you want to escalate things:

If you find his behavior unsettling, perhaps call a security company and have a good system installed. Remove all of his belongings and put into a storage facility (this is important so he doesn't use the excuse he has to get back into the house to retrieve his personal belongings. If he says that you forgot to pack something you make sure he lists it and you will retrieve it for him)

Hire a lawyer

File for divorce with Order for immediate exclusive possession of the matrimonial home.

I know many people will disagree with this, but sometimes someone has to make the move. At the very least, he will have to file a response a/o get a lawyer.

Or ... do nothing


Can she really remove all his belongings and lock him out without exclusive possession? To me doing so without that order allowing her to do so could actually hurt her case. I’d speak to a lawyer 100% before doing this. It could certainly backfire on her.

Spend these three days gathering all your information, take pictures and videos of the house contents, remove important documents from the house and set up an appointment with a lawyer ASAP


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Old 08-21-2019, 10:28 AM
Frostrated Frostrated is offline
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I was told I cannot change the locks unless I get exclusive possession. I was able to get legal aid with lien against my house, so I retained a really good lawyer, who normally does not take legal aid, but my cousin is friends with him. He's confident and aggressive, which I like.

My husband says he's aiming to leave by the 15th but has upcoming corrective laser surgery on the 7th so he'll need time to recover (he's 53...what a waste of money). He's starting to pack things that he bought me as gifts, which I find very petty.

I've also been losing an insane amount of weight - down 60 lbs since January. The only positive in this whole mess. On the bright side, I finally was offered a full-time job with benefits. I'll be a few months without my $1400 injections but I'm hoping it won't be horrible.

I was just about to change my marital status on the CRA website but there's no place to indicate that we still reside in the same home.
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Old 08-21-2019, 10:47 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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I would take all that stuff out of the boxes and hide it.

My husbands ex made him give back everything anyone in her family gave him claiming they were all on loan. She also changed the locks and refused to let him back in so there is that too...
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