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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21  
Old 10-26-2018, 11:57 AM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Try to get the other side to agree to Our Family Wizard as a mode of communication. I believe someone on here once mentioned that it has a "tone" monitor and is set up to ensure communication is child-centered.

In the meantime I'd get a new email address for your day-to-day communication with friends, etc. Keep the old one and put a "bounce-back" message on it that says that only communication which is child-focussed and relevant will be answered (or something to that effect - others on here will have idea)


This is an excellent idea!!! They more or less forced me to only use email. Lawyer had requested wizard three times now. They tried to ask for interim email only order. Lol. I think the judge would just say sure. Family wizard it is!!!

The emails are somewhat about the kids. But itís stuff they do not need to be communicating or asking about. They have consents to everything to get info themselves direct from the source. They have been told any access changes are Togo through counsel. He decided to pay some arrears. Paid what he wanted a day before his ocl meeting. Guess me saying no to the 4 way made him want to clean his hands a little. And then a day later sends another email asking if I get the transfer. I am pretty sure you can see in your bank itís been accepted ??? It actually feels good to not answer. Although I know I will be getting another lawyers fax. Always seems to be Friday afternoons too.

I did give them a new email address and I have to physically go log in on the internet to see the emails. So itís not always worrying me to check email on my phone now.

I so love your suggestion about the bounce back!!!! Perhaps it should say please only contact me when you are ready to do so through the wizard!!


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  #22  
Old 10-26-2018, 01:36 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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naw... this is an opportunity for you to look like you are much bigger, wiser and stronger.

have a message that says "I am unable to respond to your email. I know you will agree that our children are our most important, cherished asset. Therefore, I will reply only to emails which are child-focused. Hope you have a great day!"

or something like that LOL (others will have much better ideas I'm sure).
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  #23  
Old 10-26-2018, 01:45 PM
SurftheWave SurftheWave is offline
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The best 4-way meeting method I have seen was with a mediator who would arbitrate any issues not resolved. You and your ex sit in the room and your lawyers argue it out with the mediator to try and find resolution. The mediator reminds the parties that he/she will arbitrate if they can't agree and try's to find fair middle group based on experience, etc.

Expensive, about $1000 an hour for the mediator for 3x lawyers in a room. But if all parties are motivated to avoid court and arbitration it could be successful. Took a friend of mine 4-6 hours of mediation for their ex to back down and settle.
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  #24  
Old 10-26-2018, 02:20 PM
denbigh denbigh is offline
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I so glad not responding feels good. I feel like that too. Cutting down on the emails helps a lot and you dont feel stress everytime you open your email.I used to get a lot of , you didnt tell me about xyz school event, even though I infomred school of email. I know the school sends him emails because once in a whilethey forget to blind cc and his nameis on the list. The last time he did that I calming reply that I learn about events by actually reading the newsletters. I havent heard anything on that topic since. I always debate if I should ask if he is going or not, but then think, he has to take some resposiblity of his own and show up and read school communications if he wants to. so once in awhile he shows up to something and mostly doesnt.
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  #25  
Old 10-26-2018, 02:33 PM
denbigh denbigh is offline
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Quote:
Took a friend of mine 4-6 hours of mediation for their ex to back down and settle.
This is the hard part to accept, such a waste of money. Our agreement is pretty much exactly what I suggested to begin with, yet a huge amount of resources spent on both sides to have in agreed to. I dont really understand why some ex's just stick in their heels, if it is pride or cant acept the realtinship is over and trying to drag it on, of what.

In my case at first it was access, ex wanted more than I had suggested, and based on the lack of involvement with kids prior and some serious issues I wasnt willing to change that. In the end the agreement is exactly what I had suggested and ex doesnt even take all the access he can have with it anyways! He can have more than he takes, if he wanted to. And if there is ever a need for him to work or go away on his time he thinks it is just a given I am 100% available. So I am not really sure why he asked for more time when doesnt even take the time I had suggested and we eventually agreed on. I do think that was pride.

The rest of the time is was just draggin things out, not discloing things quickly, saying I should have 0$ SS. That I think was because he hates me for divorcing him.
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  #26  
Old 10-26-2018, 02:36 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by denbigh View Post
I so glad not responding feels good. I feel like that too. Cutting down on the emails helps a lot and you dont feel stress everytime you open your email.I used to get a lot of , you didnt tell me about xyz school event, even though I infomred school of email. I know the school sends him emails because once in a whilethey forget to blind cc and his nameis on the list. The last time he did that I calming reply that I learn about events by actually reading the newsletters. I havent heard anything on that topic since. I always debate if I should ask if he is going or not, but then think, he has to take some resposiblity of his own and show up and read school communications if he wants to. so once in awhile he shows up to something and mostly doesnt.


Yes I did the same. I sent him the link to sign up for the school newsletter. He missed parent teacher night. Oh well. I have proof I sent it. We are not messengers. I do send report cards and other things. Although Iím not sure if I should because he has consent to speak to the school and get these things himself.


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  #27  
Old 10-26-2018, 02:39 PM
denbigh denbigh is offline
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I do scan the report cards and send them, just so the kids dont have to be seen getting 2 envelopes, and keep them out of it. they send them home with the kids at our school
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  #28  
Old 10-26-2018, 02:44 PM
Mom 2 Two Mom 2 Two is offline
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Originally Posted by denbigh View Post
I do scan the report cards and send them, just so the kids dont have to be seen getting 2 envelopes, and keep them out of it. they send them home with the kids at our school


Same here!! So I scan them as well.


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