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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 11-16-2013, 03:52 PM
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wretchedotis wretchedotis is offline
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Default Mobility of child

So my final order states that my ex (whom has full custody) shall not move further away from the city we lived in when we were together.

During initial court proceedings, she moved 50 km's away. Thus making 50/50 impossible for me to win at the time.

Our final order was granted on consent.

I've recently been informed she and her new husband have put an offer in on a house some 20 minutes further down the road.

The boy would stay in the same school, after said move.

Her new husband creates 'antique' furniture. This new dwelling apparently has a bigger shop for him to work out of, as well as a store front attached in which they would operate out of selling his wares.

Now I haven't really decided what to do. I understand that it's not that much further down the road. But I am concerned in that my ex often disregards our order when it is convenient for her to do so. This is a perfect example.

The way I look at it - they do not NEED the extra work-shop space. They could just as easily rent a storefront for him to operate out of. That store could even be 20 minutes down the road and her new husband could commute to work.

So, I kind of see how it could be thought of as moving to a 'better' employment opportunity - but at the same time, these concerns of theirs could be accomplished in other ways other than a move.

Hoping others can weigh in with an opinion?

Basically, I am sick and tired of her now taking an inch at a time. We have an order - it spells out clearly how many inches are allowed.

Why should I have to toe the line on the details, yet she can just do whatever she wants. Yes, probably not the most mature outlook.

Anyways. Is this worth going back to court over? Thoughts?

addendum:

What's with the website right now? I am on a distinguished road? So is everybody else it seems...?

Last edited by wretchedotis; 11-16-2013 at 04:37 PM. Reason: addendum:
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Old 11-16-2013, 11:22 PM
ByMyself ByMyself is offline
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I understand where you are coming from with regards to the "inch at a time" routine. I just went through a similar situation. Divorce order ignored, 30 days notice of move ignored, school change notice ignored., blah blah blah. Not enough of a problem to run back to court (move was 20 mins further too), but annoying, and troubling. If the ex has that little respect for the order, what's next. But those are my fears, not the facts speaking.

Is the extra 20 minutes drive for exchanges a big issue? Could you ask for shared transportation to help deal with that?

Are you concerned that the school may change down the road because of the move, and that would bother you?

Could you maybe suggest to, on consent, update court order so that kids school is locked in, can't change, despite the move? And maybe ask for help with transportation - the ex can take a little more responsibility there? (Wouldn't push that one unless it's a significant issue.)

Haven't read up on your whole background yet, but just a couple of ideas off the top of my head.

They aren't BIG issues - but probably smart to let them know they are a little out of bounds, and would just like to be sure kids don't get affected by their choices.
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Old 11-17-2013, 03:24 AM
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Tell the ex you want to be allowed the option move 20 minutes the opposite direction. See how that flies. Present it to the judge who will likely tell both of you that neither of you can move. Could be a way to bring her unreasonableness out in the open. You could point out that should you move 20 minutes in opposite direction you would not expect her to come and pick up the kids at your place and you would expect the same consideration.
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Old 11-17-2013, 11:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Tell the ex you want to be allowed the option move 20 minutes the opposite direction. See how that flies. Present it to the judge who will likely tell both of you that neither of you can move. Could be a way to bring her unreasonableness out in the open. You could point out that should you move 20 minutes in opposite direction you would not expect her to come and pick up the kids at your place and you would expect the same consideration.
Since his ex has most of the access time, I suspect him moving further away wouldn't affect her a bit. She would probably welcome it, under the assumption that it would be harder for him to see the child.

I would just make it clear to the ex that you have heard about her proposed move, and remind her of the agreement not to move further away than she already has. It is in the best interests of the child to have a stable neighbourhood with his existing friends, and to have close access to his other parent.

If she wishes to negotiate this with you, indicate that you would be open to the idea if SHE picks up all the extra driving that would result (make her meet you at the old location for exchanges).

What are the possibilities of YOU moving into her new neighbourhood? Or at least right next to the kid's school. Hehe. I've often thought that would be the best way for a non-custodial parent to have the best chance at more access, especially as the child gets old enough to go places on his own. Guess what! I've gone to Dad's house after school instead of home to Mom!
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Old 11-18-2013, 06:37 PM
DN in NB DN in NB is offline
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sad as it may be when it comes to most of the court papers especially where children moving greater distances away.The papers are basically worthless,if you want to fight anything its back to court for mucho expense and likely by the time anythings changed the child will be a young adult..My fiancee always followed her court papers to thefine details,her ex didn`t make an attempt at any single point to follow any orders and still violates whever and whenever possible.he tried for a long time not returning kids from visitation until a day or two late
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