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  • Sms

    Our separation agreement states (she still has not signed it yet btw)

    3.21 It is acknowledged and agreed that where reference is made in this Agreement to “in writing”, that text messages do not qualify.
    STBX went sending a bunch of text messages in response to an email I sent her regarding our summer schedule and how she totally disagreed with it even though it follows what's in the agreement.

    I simply told her to respond to the email and she said no text is fine. I then sent her one last text stating that I would no longer respond to text messages only email. Then I sent the following message after each text message she has sent me since.

    Undeliverable: Phone number 416-XXX-XXXX has blocked SMS messages from phone number 416-XXX-XXXX
    She then sent the following email

    Subject: Games

    I don't know what kinda games ur playing XXXX u really need to grow up. U talk about doing things in a mature manner and then u block me from texting u and ur not answering ur phone. Ur children wanted to say goodnight they wonder why u never call them to say goodnight. I'm done communicating with you via email. I don't always have internet access I told u that in front of the lawyers. You really need to grow up! The only ones your hurting is the children.

    Sent from my iPhone
    I was in a meeting when "the kids" called so I called them back to say goodnight. Stbx took the opportunity to lay into me about everything in the email then tells me the kids are sleeping and I can't talk to them. (This is the reason I don't call btw)

    Today the school called and said our daughter needed to be picked up. I called her on the phone and relayed the message. She then took her to the doctors this afternoon. It turns out she has an ear infection. She sent me a very long text about it and once again I sent the same undeliverable message.

    When she got home she called me and explained the situation and went on to say how complicated this was and blah blah blah.... She now claims she is not going to sign the agreement and she is going to block my emails. I told her I didn't care what she did. She then started to swear at me and I hung up.

    {Deep Breath}

    I'm trying to get her to email only...not having much luck.

    The agreement was signed by me and my lawyer and sent to her lawyer after all the revisions her lawyer asked for.

    Everything is a battle and even with a written agreement the next 17 years will be interesting.

    FB

  • #2
    Keep to e-mail and sign up to read notify....she can say she is not going to follow e-mails that fine. Just CWA by using this service.

    It will be signed soon but realize that it will never be over!

    Best of luck...I'm still waiting on mine to be signed...been delayed for 6 months!

    Comment


    • #3
      No one suggested Wizard yet?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Mother View Post
        No one suggested Wizard yet?
        It was discussed at a 4-way and deemed not necessary.

        Comment


        • #5
          hmmm, strange, who said so?

          If text messages are not acceptable in you case and emails are notoriously bad/unreliable as I was told on this side some time ago, then Wizard is the solution: approved and accepted by the courts. I personally don't like it but that's irrelevant. One thing is good about it: once you sent stuff you cannot delete or change it. Your lawyer should know this.

          Comment


          • #6
            I use ReadNotify but only because I needed some mechanism to show me if ex was ignoring read emails, or not bothering reading them at all. I would much rather use Our Family Wizard because of the other options it offers. Ex ignores requests to use it and it's costly to sign up on my own. Hoping to eventually.

            Stick to driving her to email.
            The benefit of email...you can sit down craft an email, take a break from it...reword it, etc. And something you can do while alone.

            Your ex is craving the immediate reaction of txt. Don't give it to her.

            Comment


            • #7
              She didn't want to use it (no computer) and cost was an issue and since we settled I couldn't really push the issue.

              Had it gone to court I would have requested it.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by FB_ View Post
                She didn't want to use it (no computer) and cost was an issue and since we settled I couldn't really push the issue.

                Had it gone to court I would have requested it.
                Concerning "Our Family Wizard"...they have an app for most of the major mobile phone platforms (IPhone, Android, Blackberry). I get the "cost" aspect though, which is why I'm not on it, yet. However, if I add up the ReadNotify fees (which are small), and the times I've had to use registered mail when the hostile ex becomes unresponsive, then I have likely already paid my share of the OFW fee, for year. If we end up in court, I'll be requesting OFW.

                The "I have no computer" argument, doesn't stand up with me. Internet and computers are free at a library, etc. Most people, who have a cell phone, have a "data plan" and Internet. This argument is especially annoying when it comes from a parent who has a cell phone, and is on Facebook, but will try to say they can't "communicate" via email and such, about their child.

                I would do your best, to stay away from SMS text messaging, for parenting. If you have to use it, I would only use it for the "immediate" low-key communications. ex. "Should be there in 5 mins". "Dropped Billy's shoes off at school". And leave it at that.

                If a "back and forth" exchange is required, or is being asked for by the other party, then simply say, I'll respond via email when I have the opportunity.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I find it hilarious that she sent an email from her iPhone right away.

                  Obviously she has a data plan then so has constant access to email.

                  Ridiculous.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by OntarioMomma View Post
                    I find it hilarious that she sent an email from her iPhone right away.

                    Obviously she has a data plan then so has constant access to email.

                    Ridiculous.
                    Very much so.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by OntarioMomma View Post
                      I find it hilarious that she sent an email from her iPhone right away.

                      Obviously she has a data plan then so has constant access to email.

                      Ridiculous.
                      She does have a data plan but claims it costs a lot and she doesn't like to use it. Although she posts crap to facebook all over the place.

                      The other thing I find strange is she claims she has wifi at her house but no computer.... Why would you have internet and no computer. Makes no sense.

                      They are all excuses from a high conflict person.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by FB_ View Post
                        She does have a data plan but claims it costs a lot and she doesn't like to use it...

                        ...The other thing I find strange is she claims she has wifi at her house but no computer.... Why would you have internet and no computer. Makes no sense.

                        They are all excuses from a high conflict person.
                        lol. Exactly. Getting a clearer picture of your ex, from your other postings as well. She doesn't sound low-conflict, that is for sure. grin.

                        So if she has wi-fi at her house, then she can make use of that, if she doesn't want to pay for her data plan usage. Unless she uses her data plan and phone, as a wifi hotspot, well then, she's already using her data in much more intrusive ways, through that means. Who knows, who cares. It's hard to understand a high-conflict individual, and why they say the things they do.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Some excellent articles that counter the majority of nonsense arguments that highly conflicted individuals give for "not" using OFW:

                          Our Family Wizard: An Excellent Tool for Co-Parenting with a High-Conflict Person, Part 1 l Dr Tara J. Palmatier | Shrink4Men

                          OurFamily Wizard, Part 2: Common Excuses Made by High-Conflict Parents Not to Use OFW and Effective Counter-Arguments l Dr Tara J. Palmatier | Shrink4Men

                          Common Excuses Made by High-Conflict People and/or Abusive Personality Disordered Individuals Not to Use OurFamilyWizard and Effective Counter-Arguments
                          1. It’s too expensive! Not true. Compared to other services you’ll pay for during your divorce and custody case, OurFamilyWizard is relatively inexpensive. After hiring the most qualified divorce attorney you can find, OFW is probably the best money you can spend during and after your divorce. If your high-conflict ex refuses to pay, she or he ends up looking like the bad parent who doesn’t believe the welfare of the children is worth the relatively small expense. Your message should be, “My kids are more important than $200.”

                          OFW has two price plans:

                          $99.00 for a one year subscription per parent (27 cents a day). This equals $198.00 for both of you.
                          $179.00 for a two year subscription per parent (24 cents a day). This equals $358.00 for both of you.

                          Many custody cases involving HCPs are so toxic that couples are either court-ordered to communicate via their attorneys or elect to do so on their own. Attorneys don’t write emails and make phone calls for free. This is where OFW can really save you money. One of my clients estimates that OFW has saved him over $45,0000 in communications that were previously going through he and his ex-wife’s attorneys and parental coordinators. Presently, he only utilizes his attorney when his ex engages in behaviors that pose a risk to their children and/or when she’s in violation of a court order.
                          If you need counter arguments to most of the nonsense that highly conflicted individuals try to use to get out of being on a monitored and managed platform those articles have it.

                          Furthermore, Just search "Czutrin" and "Our Family Wizard" and/or "Our Family Wizard" in CanLII.org to see why, how and how often it is ordered.

                          Highly conflicted people hate to have their communications tracked. They like to communicate viva voce because it makes it easier for them to be deceptive and lie about what was actually said. This is why people who are the targets of highly conflicted individuals have to carry recording devices often to deal with false allegations.

                          Good Luck!
                          Tayken

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by FB_ View Post
                            Subject: Games

                            I don't know what kinda games ur playing XXXX u really need to grow up. U talk about doing things in a mature manner and then u block me from texting u and ur not answering ur phone. Ur children wanted to say goodnight they wonder why u never call them to say goodnight. I'm done communicating with you via email. I don't always have internet access I told u that in front of the lawyers. You really need to grow up! The only ones your hurting is the children.

                            Sent from my iPhone
                            OMG!!! Add a bunch of spelling mistakes and that email could be from my ex!!!!

                            I have the same problem. I'm constantly reminding him to use email. I try to ignore the texts but I like your tactic. I may try that.

                            Oh, also wanted to mention that Yesware will also track emails and confirm they have been opened. Not sure if it's certified like ReadNotify though. I'm currently checking out both of them.

                            I would LOVE to force the ex to use Family Wizard.
                            Last edited by HappyMomma; 06-12-2013, 02:51 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              {start rant}

                              Well I have not had a text message from ex in 4 days.

                              Today was exchange day. I had the kids Wed pick up - Mon drop-off.

                              I got 4 emails from her tonight

                              I'll paraphrase.

                              email 1 - 2:57

                              You sent the wrong gymnastics outfit.
                              You didn't send any clothes for me to put them in on Wednesday.
                              You forgot their health cards (yup I forgot)

                              next email 4:05

                              What happened to {daughters} lip and leg. (she fell riding her bike)

                              next email 4:15

                              Do you ever bath these children or cut their nails (not paraphrasing there)

                              next email 4:38

                              I'm sending them to school in xxxxx clothes....they were a gift....I want them back blah blah blah.

                              I replied to the first one...stupidly just mentioning that yes I forgot the health cards and I would send them on Friday. I also mentioned it was the gymnastic outfit that daughter wanted to wear. She of course came back with more crap not included in the above 4 other emails. I have just ignored her now. I really hope this isn't going to happen every week. Do these types of people ever get a life. *$#&

                              {/rant}

                              Comment

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