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  • Lawyer issue

    Maybe I have the wrong forum here.

    I am on the middle of so orce proceedings and find myself without a lawyer. I will get one but am trying to get a few straight forward things out of the way.

    The spouses lawyer is not a good person. When asked a question they become offensive and reply with ridiculous statements or aggressive questions trying to muddy the waters. They simply won't answer my reasonable questions or forward my requests for joint therapy to my spouse. It may have been this way all along with him in the middle running the show over there and my spouse.

    This happened to my lawyers as well. I asked them not to engage with him because they are just racking up hours.

    How do I get them to pass information or requests to my spouse? Do I start faxing things?

    I know they will provide a mountain of emails and misrepresent them to the court and accuse me of self help and make it sound like a bad thing.
    Offensive to everyone but a judge whom he brown noses.

    He is just trying to make this expensive and win by b.s.

    Need advice on how to force him to pass proposals to ex. Or maybe he gets to decli e stuff for them?


    Also if they ask if I am in compliance with something do I need to reply? Can they assert that it means I am not complying ?

  • #2
    Either you are in compliance or not. For instance, you are obligated to provide a specific type of financial disclosure. Have you shared it or not. If not, not in compliance.

    If you want something to get to your spouse you can either email it to them directly or send a registered letter. They can share it with their counsel.

    If you have a serious concern with opposing counsel you could file a complaint with the Law Society in the province but that may not go anywhere. Contacting you runs up their bill.

    When you get a lawyer, they can manage things how you want. You can tell them you dont want them responding without your instruction and have them share all correspondence with you directly. Most lawyers do that already.

    Comment


    • #3
      Need advice on how to force him to pass proposals to ex.
      Unless there is a restraining order or peace bond, why not e-mail your ex directly? If they insist on things going through their lawyer then you have your answer.

      Comment


      • #4
        we are to communicate via our family wizard.
        Ex said it was only to be used for household and kid items.
        Then I was told it was only for matters caring for the kids.

        Originally it wasn't explained to me. I thought it would be fine for all communication....the order doesn't say anything about limiting information.

        We are supposed to go for counselling and I proposed that we take counselling where we have individual sessions then those councillors talk to each other to figure out what the issues are. I believe it to be more effective but her lawyer is stating he is not considering it. I asked that she consider it so how do I get her and not her lawyer to run things?

        Comment


        • #5
          Why would you work with two separate therapists and then have them discuss? Use the same therapist, meet separately to discuss your concerns then meet together to go over them and find solutions.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
            Why would you work with two separate therapists and then have them discuss? Use the same therapist, meet separately to discuss your concerns then meet together to go over them and find solutions.
            It would be like having a discussion with yourself. You don't get an honest result. Trust me. It is waaaaaay better.

            Comment


            • #7
              Lawyer issue

              No you are working with a therapist. The therapist is the one controlling the sessions. Otherwise its like having your own lawyers who then tell the other person what is best.

              There’s no point in JOINT counseling to deal with issues you both have TOGETHER if you are simply seeing two separate therapists. She doesn’t have to listen to your therapist anymore than you have hers.

              This is right up there with “im going to have her lawyer tell me what I have to pay”.

              Thats why her lawyer won’t agree.

              Comment


              • #8
                Please stop, you are jumping to conclusions you have no business jumping too. You haven't even heard of this before.
                Also, it is not anything like a client/lawyer relationship.
                I just want an answer to the O/P.

                Comment


                • #9
                  You asked how you get her to run things. You don’t. She runs things how she wants. If she wants her lawyer telling her what to do, she does that. Her lawyer isn’t going to say no without discussing with her. You can email her with the suggestion but if her lawyer responds with his clients answers then the item ends. You could put in your motion material “on x date I requested counseling in y format but was refused.” Again though, if she doesn’t want to do it, you need it ordered by the judge. The suggestion that you meet with the same therapist is a reasonable one that a lawyer will be more inclined to recommend to their client but ultimately your ex decides.

                  With respect to our family wizard, if there is no set rule for the two of you, you can set your own boundaries and request it be used for all communications. Its actually an excellent tool in that it helps remove inflammatory language and judges like it. The judge would see that suggestion as a good one so it would be in your best interest to suggest it.

                  You came to a forum and asked a question. People here know how things work and don’t work. My comments are based on experience and history both in single and group counseling as well as the family law system with my parents and my partner. If you are simply here to get answers you WANT to hear then its best you search your theme and pick the answers in those threads you like. You can also put me on ignore but others here will share my views on counseling and streamlining the process.

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                  • #10
                    Rockscan. I didn't ask for an opinion on counselling. 😓

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by GreenGrass View Post
                      We are supposed to go for counselling and I proposed that we take counselling where we have individual sessions then those councillors talk to each other to figure out what the issues are. I believe it to be more effective but her lawyer is stating he is not considering it. I asked that she consider it so how do I get her and not her lawyer to run things?

                      I gave you an ANSWER, not an OPINION on what you asked which is BOLDED ABOVE.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I didnt ask that. No question mark.

                        Let us never be married. ☺

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                        • #13
                          Your question was how do you get her to go for your proposal. I gave you an answer.

                          My opinion is you are a control freak wanting to make your ex do what you want. Good for her to ignore you and let her lawyer deal with you.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            GreenGrass - if you have presented something to your wife's lawyer then they are obliged to inform your wife. You don't have to like the lawyer and they certainly don't have to like you and are within their right to be cool and indifferent towards you. That is their prerogative. Your ex instructs her lawyer on how to deal with you. If your ex's lawyer is telling you something (rejection of your offer of joint counselling) then that is essentially your ex rejecting whatever you have proposed.

                            Suggesting that your wife is being manipulated by her lawyer is disparaging to your wife's intelligence. Some would consider this misogynistic.

                            If you keep persisting on pushing your issue with your ex's lawyer then it is really you who is racking up the lawyer's bill..her bill. From what little you have posted, I gather that your ex only wants to deal with you through Our Family Wizard and only regarding matters that affect your children. That sounds reasonable. She has retained a lawyer. Either learn how to deal effectively with this lawyer or retain one yourself.

                            I'd recommend retaining a lawyer and actually listening to what your lawyer advises... your "interpretation" on how things ought to be is irrelevant. If you want to be stubborn and push things then you will, indeed, have a very large lawyer bill. Competent legal counsel (lawyer) exercise good "client control" but it can come at great cost. Best to do your own independent reading (you found this forum so you know how to use a computer) on how things go in family court. If you don't do your own research you will end up paying your lawyer to bring you up-to-speed on basic family law procedures. My ex was like that - too lazy and too argumentative. He was dismissed by a few of his lawyers (yes they do that). Lawyers often talk to one another frankly (off the record so-to-speak) about their clients.

                            You are going through divorce. Focus on substantive offers to settle so you can move on with your life.

                            Ignorance of the law is not acceptable excuse.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              thank you. The other lawyer just jerks me around.
                              I am not trying to raise a legal bill on the other side but he does send unnecessary emails to me with strange requests trying to engage me. My guess is that they will blame me for all the emails.
                              I need a decent lawyer but the lawyer on the other side simply acts like a clown with their responses I think in order to not effectively participate in negotiation or solution.

                              thanks arabian

                              Comment

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