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  • Another Child Support Question

    Hey everyone, needs some help here please.

    When the ex and I separated we each had one child with us and similar salaries so it was decided that there would be no child support to be paid. This was fine for about a year and half then my daughter decided to go live with her dad. We negotiated an amount of child support and I paid that for 2 months.

    My daughter has now decided that she does not want to live with dad or mom anymore. She is and has been couch surfing with friends for about a month. Dad has said she isn't welcome back in his home unless she basically changes who she is and her belief system. She is under the age of 16 so legally she is not allowed to be on her own but we have been informed by the police that there really isn't anything that can be done. It is all quite hearbreaking

    I am continuing to support daughter with the very basic necessities but she is on her own or as she says sponging off others for food and shelter. From what I understand, legally I am financially responsible for her even though I am not really contributing much.

    My question...am I responsible to pay c/s for child who is living with dad? My daughter does come to stay with me maybe one night a week. I am not collecting child tax credit either.

  • #2
    Absolutely, you are still responsible for paying CS for the one child according to your income, since she lives with your ex. One night a week is not enough access to bring the offset system into play.

    For the child who has left both your care, I suggest that BOTH you and her father should be giving money to the parents of whichever friend she is living with. A non-adult should not be sponging off anybody, even if she is not living with her parents. You are both responsible for her expenses, no matter where she lives.

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    • #3
      Friends of mine had to employ "tough love" with their daughter at one time. She was around age 16 (this could be important) and they set house rules - She could live at home if she abided by rules. She refused. Child went on welfare and thought it was going to be 'easy street' until social services demanded she report to her social worker of her job search every week. Child didn't like the hassle, living in dirty environment and eventually smartened up and came home and returned to school. She had to get a part-time job (one of the conditions parents put on her to return home).

      Must be very difficult for you. Sounds like the 'guilt-box' is playing the parents against each other.

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      • #4
        Sad situation but it doesn't really have anything to do with your question at hand. If one daughter is still living with Dad yes you are responsible for cs for that daughter. If the older daughter moved out, no cs is payable to dad but I would certainly be helping those friends out

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        • #5
          Thanks. If anyone else has anything to contribute I'd appreciate it

          Comment


          • #6
            @OP...Hopefully you are getting school reports for the child living with your ex, whom CS is being paid for?

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            • #7
              If you and your ex dont have 50/50 for the one child then yes you are responsible. For the older child I agree with others that said to provide some financial support to the places she is staying. Has she tried to apply for social assistance? Sometimes theres not much you can do. My sister ran away from home repeatedly in her late teens and lived in friends' basements. She went on welfare (this was back before mike harris made his cuts) and that was her support. It was what she wanted and was old enough to not be forced to stay at home. Your daughter may grow out of it. As long as she has access to supports (not just money but also support groups) then she will be ok. See about street kid organizations in your town that she can go to and definitely watch for depression. Shes just trying to find her own identity and understand life. Give her some space but keep an eye on her. Its dangerous for some kids who fall through the cracks.

              Youre a good parent, some kids need to test the waters a little earlier than others and may not have the maturity to accept help and support from their parents.

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              • #8
                Getting school reports on child living with dad is no issue.



                The child that is out living on her own is getting the basic necessities from me. She obviously needs female type items and the occasional item of clothing, especially now that it seems like Spring is finally here. I've talked to her counsellor as well as her guidance counsellor at school and they both agree that I shouldn't give her too much, life shouldn't be too sweet living on the streets. There needs to be an incentive to come home, which is what I really want. Things change once she turns 16. As a parent we basically give up our parental rights and she can go when and where she pleases. She can also apply for Youth Welfare but the government comes back and would actually try to collect it from me. I spoke to a lawyer through my EAP program today and she suggested cutting daughter off almost completely financially. She also stressed that CAS and the police should be doing more than they are. I'm sure that would be a whole different story and thread.

                If she chooses to live with one family instead of going from couch to couch, that family/parent can ask for child support. It would have to go through the courts and both parents would have to contribute but the lawyer I spoke to said I could argue that she left of her own accord and withdrew from parental care and therefore may not have to pay. They can also apply for the child tax credit. My daughter is aware of the support that is out there for her, it is very limited at her age. Hopefully she will out grow this and come home but I am doubtful. The biggest thing is to try and make sure she is somewhere safe.

                As far as my original question went, the lawyer confirmed that yes I do need to pay table amount for one child to my ex regardless of what I helping my daughter with.

                Comment

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