Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Do you think that woman receive preferential treatment

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    Originally posted by representingself View Post
    There must have been something seriously wrong with your ex that would bring a Judge to take an 18 month old baby away from its mother.

    The judge didn't take the baby away. When we separated she moved out of the house and we initially had more or less equal time with them, but then she did go off the rails with addictions/mental health issues. After an OCL investigation recommnended sole custody for me, the writing was on the wall and we settled without a trial.

    Unfortunately, the presumption that 18 month old "babies" need their mother more than their father is at the heart of the question posed in this thread. I don't buy it - not for one minute.

    It's the involvement that the parent has in the child's day to day life that is important - and I was the primary caregiver. As I have said elsewhere in this forum, the fact is that Mom's still do most of the primary caregiving these days and that is what drives the decision to award custody to Mom in 80% of the cases. It's should not automatically be assumed that Mom should be favoured in caring for kids, no matter their age - and yes, that includes breast feeding mothers.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by Stargate View Post
      The current flawed system of awarding child custody to the mothers nearly 80% of the time needs to change. Ditto with the current flawed child support guidelines need to be completely redone as they have in Australia where a FAR more equitable solution/approach to these issues has been implemented. Canada needs to step up to the plate. The Courts need to step up to the plate and politicians need to step up and rewrite family laws.
      Very well said. Does anyone know if this issue has been challenged in Parliament. What would be required to change to the laws, to correct this issue and to make it more fair?

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by Jupitor View Post
        Very well said. Does anyone know if this issue has been challenged in Parliament. What would be required to change to the laws, to correct this issue and to make it more fair?
        Until we can get politicians that are not "girly-men" this injustice will continue to fester and cause undue hardship for NCP. We have to implement a new system and update these draconian laws currently in the family law books of Canada.

        Best way to bring attention to this subject that affects nearly 50% of divorced people in Canada is to write to reporters both for both TV and newsprint media such as all the major national and local newspapers as well as national TV programs such as "The Fifth Estate" on CBC.

        Unless WE the people start taking action rather than complaining about the situation nothing will change.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
          T
          Unfortunately, the presumption that 18 month old "babies" need their mother more than their father is at the heart of the question posed in this thread. I don't buy it - not for one minute.

          It's the involvement that the parent has in the child's day to day life that is important - and I was the primary caregiver. As I have said elsewhere in this forum, the fact is that Mom's still do most of the primary caregiving these days and that is what drives the decision to award custody to Mom in 80% of the cases. It's should not automatically be assumed that Mom should be favoured in caring for kids, no matter their age - and yes, that includes breast feeding mothers.
          Finally someone who can see the whole issue clearly!

          18 month-old babies need someone to care for and love them. Someone who can depended on to be there. Good for you.

          Comment


          • #35
            Children need BOTH parents after a divorce. That should never be limited to who took care of the children more during the marriage. That argument simply doesn't hold water in my books. While all other assets of the marriage are split in half following a divorce so should the children.

            But with womens' rights movement and girly men politicians you end up with the currently flawed system and laws governing CS and child custody.

            Comment


            • #36
              Nobody has said that they don't think parents should have equal time with their children.

              Dadtotheend said "Mom's still do most of the primary caregiving these days and that is what drives the decision to award custody to Mom in 80% of the cases." THIS is what is CAUSING the preferential treatment.

              The questions is whether there is preferential treatment, NOT if we agree with it. The whole premise with it being preferential indicates that it is biased!!!

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
                I got sole custody of our children, who were 18 mths and almost 4 yrs old when we separated.

                Of course women are treated preferentially but a resourceful, persistent, child centred father who leaves no stone unturned can and will prevail when the circumstances warrant it.

                BTW, mom's are awarded custody in 80% of cases, not over 90% as mentioned earlier. It's in the research if one takes the time to review it. This Dad did.
                Hi,
                I would be interested to know more about what was involved in gaining shared custody. How does one research the subject of achieving custody?

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by Jupitor View Post
                  Hi,
                  I would be interested to know more about what was involved in gaining shared custody. How does one research the subject of achieving custody?
                  The best 'research' you can do is see a family lawyer and get a free 1/2 hr consultation.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Stargate View Post
                    The best 'research' you can do is see a family lawyer and get a free 1/2 hr consultation.
                    Can someone recommend a good, well recommended lawyer in the central area of Ottawa. Being male, should I be looking for a male lawyer?

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Stargate View Post
                      The best 'research' you can do is see a family lawyer and get a free 1/2 hr consultation.
                      And read read read read read read read

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        As to the question posed by the OP, yes unfortunately the courts have a sever gender bias, one I am all to painfully acquainted with. But since the law books officially do not have a gender bias it is possible to overcome it.




                        Originally posted by Jupitor View Post
                        Can someone recommend a good, well recommended lawyer in the central area of Ottawa. Being male, should I be looking for a male lawyer?
                        No, go for a female lawyer, preferably one that is a known feminist, get her on your side and you have a better chance.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          I disagree about a man getting a female lawyer. My husband got one and he got severely screwed over! (ex moved with the kids, accross the country, he had to pay 100% of access costs (3600/year) untill "mom" got a job, which lasted 8 years of her being unemployed, 100% of extra-ordinary costs, 100% of medical dental, 100% of braces, etc.)

                          Now the ex has a job, he still pays 80% of everything, on-top of CS. She gets 1000/month in CS (and we pay another 600/month in extra costs) It is well over 50% of his income. She makes about 24,000K/year, gets 12,000 in CS, about 8000 in CCTB, about 3000/tax refund, so has an income (after tax) of 47,000, half of which is "given" to her.

                          My husband makes 60K - taxes(30%) = 42,000 - 12,000 (CS) - 7200 (extras) = 22,800. Not to mention the home we keep for the kids and what we spend when they stay here all summer.

                          Anybody who doesn't think men get screwed (cause most do not get custody unless they have $$$ to fight for it) needs to learn BASIC math, and the truth about custody and "visitation".

                          The female lawyer didn't help him at all, you'd think she was working for his ex.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Classic Rock CHEZ106 - Randall Moore Blog Archive Unfair Child Support Rules

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              the argument that men make more money or get promotions more often, that is in fact a BS these days. I don't know in what industry you work, I'd say easily close to 50% of director positions are taken by women. and yes, they are making pretty good money indeed. and yet, the society still imposes the old notion that men make more money.

                              many women love that tradition though. some wives choose to stay at home rather than splitting work and taking care of the kids with husbands, forcing the men out to work. men love to spend time with kids too! just because we don't get to play with them because we HAVE TO work, that does't mean we care any less about the kids.

                              in this day and age, men should also have a choice to be house dads. if men were given the equal opportunity, we could easily prove we are just as capable parents as women.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                No one is putting a gun to your head. If your wife says "I'm quitting work to stay at home with the kids" just say "Sounds great honey. I"ll do the same thing!"

                                I agree that too many men get locked into a role of breadwinner, leaving the caregiver role to the mother. But that's the man's choice as much as the woman's, and if you don't want that choice, then don't take it.

                                If the wife refuses, that's your marriage falling apart right there. Don't have kids until you have things worked out. Hell, don't marry someone who doesn't have an interest in a career, who's incapable of being self-supporting. If your spouse doesn't want to go back to work after mat leave, go to marriage councelling. And in the meantime quit work and go to art school.

                                Be clear when you're dating that you won't be a wallet. Don't let it start.

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X