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Settlement Reached - Thanks Everyone!

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  • #31
    Congrats Teddie! You enjoy that bottle Borg sent you! you deserve it!

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    • #32
      Such a relief! Best wishes that she feels done with you and you can both move on.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Tayken View Post
        I agree.

        Congrats Teddy. It would be great to hear from you as to how (and what in particular) assistance information from this site contributed to your settlement.
        The first and most important thing was to document everything concerning time with the kids, money spent, bills that were paid or not, erractic behaviour by my ex.

        I also benefited from people's opinions on how to handle parental alienation. Instead of being on the defense, I just spent more time reassuring the kids that everything was going to be alright. When they saw how little attention I gave to the crazy things their mother was saying, they stopped caring about it too. It was awesome advice.

        A lot of the legal terms and references were learned from this sight. I think that sometimes your lawyer doesn't want you to be TOO informed but I think it's in everyone's best interests to be. My lawyer was great but I think he felt that sometimes I knew more than he wanted me too. I know it certainly irritated my ex's lawyer when I was more informed than he was.

        I think the reassurance of others on this forum that have been through the courts was invaluable. Being "child focused" in courts is something that people might overlook because of their bitterness, but, its great advice and looks great to a judge. We should all be child centered but when your pissed off, you may not always come across that way to a judge. So, some of the reminders I received on this sight really helped.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
          Teddie:

          How many offers did you go through to get finished?

          Did you have just one SC?

          Congratulations by the way...I'm envious.


          Theborg: The good thing about you is that divorce has made you so offensive, that you'll never have any hopes of finding a woman and therefore, won't breed anymore. Darwinism is a good thing. Stick to blowup dolls...they don't talk back and if they try to steal your money, its legal to stick a pin in them.

          Sincerely,
          Free-Love Chick
          We have made 6 offers to settle, and I made 3 more directly to my ex. They were all turned down.

          We had 2 settlement conferences. The first one was a joke and the judge seemed to just brush us aside. He gave us a very polite lecture about wasting money and that was it. The second conference was great.

          Thanks!

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Teddie View Post
            The first and most important thing was to document everything concerning time with the kids, money spent, bills that were paid or not, erractic behaviour by my ex.

            I also benefited from people's opinions on how to handle parental alienation. Instead of being on the defense, I just spent more time reassuring the kids that everything was going to be alright. When they saw how little attention I gave to the crazy things their mother was saying, they stopped caring about it too. It was awesome advice.

            A lot of the legal terms and references were learned from this sight. I think that sometimes your lawyer doesn't want you to be TOO informed but I think it's in everyone's best interests to be. My lawyer was great but I think he felt that sometimes I knew more than he wanted me too. I know it certainly irritated my ex's lawyer when I was more informed than he was.

            I think the reassurance of others on this forum that have been through the courts was invaluable. Being "child focused" in courts is something that people might overlook because of their bitterness, but, its great advice and looks great to a judge. We should all be child centered but when your pissed off, you may not always come across that way to a judge. So, some of the reminders I received on this sight really helped.
            :::BRAVO:::



            I'm really happy for you Teddie!!

            still keeping fingers crossed that things continue to progress smoothly from here on out too!!

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            • #36
              Originally posted by cbarker78 View Post
              :::BRAVO:::



              I'm really happy for you Teddie!!

              still keeping fingers crossed that things continue to progress smoothly from here on out too!!
              Based on your story, I wish you were my ex A weird statement but it sounds like your ex is lucky that you were so reasonable.
              Last edited by Teddie; 05-08-2012, 10:02 AM.

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              • #37
                Originally posted by Teddie View Post
                Based on your story, I wish you were my ex A weird statement but it sounds like your ex is lucky that you were so reasonable.

                LMBO!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

                ....not going down that road (aisle?) ever again! LOL! I just wish he'd recognize that as well though.... LOL!

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                • #38
                  Teddie - I too find that lawyers do not want their clients knowing "too much" I too have learned a lot from this forum. Factual info and even just seeing other people's points of views and hearing about their experiences. Definitely, with the exception of a few (no need to name) this site acts as a Helping Hand

                  And even some of the more far-out stuff that's posted: well that serves as a clear warning of how NOT to be, under ANY circumstances! Enjoy. This is a big step towards moving on!

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                  • #39
                    Congrats! I can just imagine the relief you feel. I know we (my fiance - who is going through it and I) are longing for that day - so we can move on in life...closure in a sense.

                    Question for you - would you be willing to share the approx cost of a settlement conference. We are thinking this is the route my partner will have to take.

                    Also...does the judge help make decisions at the conference? What if she refuses to settle on access and support - because I know my fiance is willing to negotiate and flex....but she is very stubborn and controlling. Will the judge help find middle ground???

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by mattine View Post
                      Congrats! I can just imagine the relief you feel. I know we (my fiance - who is going through it and I) are longing for that day - so we can move on in life...closure in a sense.

                      Question for you - would you be willing to share the approx cost of a settlement conference. We are thinking this is the route my partner will have to take.

                      Also...does the judge help make decisions at the conference? What if she refuses to settle on access and support - because I know my fiance is willing to negotiate and flex....but she is very stubborn and controlling. Will the judge help find middle ground???
                      Well, my settlement conference took 4 hours so I have to pay my lawyer 4 hours at his hourly rate, so in or around $1000. It was expensive but it was more expensive to keep on fighting.

                      The judge is supposed to help make decisions at the conference. For instance, my ex said she still wanted to fight me on custody and access and the judge flat out told her, "you would not stand a chance in a trial, you need to accept the fact that custody and access will remain the same". The judge is there to tell each party if they are being unreasonable and they are supposed to share what they think is reasonable and what is likely to happen in trial....at least that's the way that I saw it.

                      Our judge definitely helped my ex settle on the middle ground.

                      In my opinion, once a family enters the family law system, a settlement conference should be mandatory ASAP.

                      Good Luck!

                      Comment

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