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  • #46
    Update: 1st month ex paid Fro directly, he short paid by $500. He was given 30 days to submit a "VAPS" on the arrears. He failed to do so. 2nd month he short paid by $200 - now FRO has placed a Federal Garnishment on him. He's self-employed so I don't think it will affect him the way in which it might, most people.

    I am thus far, satisfied with how the Fro is acting on my behalf. I also like the case worker that's been assigned to me.

    I have no idea when they will collect the arrears. Ex's house is selling or sold (not sure, it's off MLS now) and I wish there was some way that arrears could be seized in full - but the home, the "matrimonial" home (he is married) - does not bear his name on title. His wife shelters assets and money. I'm thinking of sending a letter to the M.A.G., and cc it to Andre Marin, Ontario's Ombudsman. It should not "be" that it is so simple to evade/avoid all kinds of situations simply b/c one's name is not attached to it.

    It is abundantly clear that he (ex) has a vested interest in the Mat-home and the sale/profits from it. They have spent over 60k renovating it in the past year, yet he doesn't have money to pay Court ordered CS/SS and arrears? He is the only one working in the household and generates an income of about 120k/year as a self employed person. His wife is home with 2 young children. It's pretty obvious who is paying all the bills in that house.

    It's bs that the "it's not in his name" thing seems to absolve him of so much. I believe the Courts would first need to identify his wife as a co-party wrt sheltering assets and "frustrating" the efforts of the FRO, before FRO would be able to take enforcement action against her as well.

    I'm so tired of being ripped off. In plain sight. In broad daylight.

    Oh, and now that ex is paying "closer" to the amount ordered (after almost a full year since the date of the order), he says things to S13 like "no I can't get you this/that b/c your mom is getting too much money from me." Or - when he 'almost' bought S13 an item that he'd promised to, he said "don't tell *wife's name* that I bought this, b/c she'll flip." (It was a $50 item). Soon, he'll say he can't buy him a milkshake from McDonald's :s
    Last edited by hadenough; 08-11-2012, 10:40 AM. Reason: punctuation

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    • #47
      I'm so tired of being ripped off. In plain sight. In broad daylight.

      Oh, and now that ex is paying "closer" to the amount ordered (after almost a full year since the date of the order, he says things to S13 like "no I can't get you this/that b/c your mom is getting too much money from me." Or - when he 'almost' bought S13 an item that he'd promised to he said "don't tell *wife's name* that I bought this, b/c she'll flip." (It was a $50 item). Soon, he'll say he can't buy him a milkshake from McDonald's :s[/QUOTE]

      The new wife would get angry if the ex bought his son a $50 toy???What a b**ch!!!!So right now she has convinced him to hide all the money and assets into her name just to screw you and your kids over.What happens if she decides to dump your ex??Its all in her name...he has been saying he doesn't have money.He would be royally screwed and he would deserve every bit of it.But that doesn't help your kids out one bit.If FRO had any teeth they would find out exactly how much money she brought into the
      marriage and go after the house sale.

      My friend has been waiting for 8yrs for CS and her ex is a self employed landscaper.Of course his new wife and family dress in designer clothes but since the money is all under the table..FRO cant touch him.

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      • #48
        Yes ML, his wife is a total bitch and he is a total loser/ass. Of course their kids wear only the finest clothing. Calvin Klein (for babies!), GAP, and all the other expensive gear. They are sickening (ex and his wife). I really am thinking to address the "it's not in his name" nonsense to the MAG and Ombudsman. I'll just send them a letter every week, lobbying for change

        Yes it's pretty pathetic: some of the things ex says to child. Even the wife has said "tell your mom to buy '*' item, she has lots of money now."

        Really? I do? Hmmm. I seem to be doing a pretty good job of living like a broke person. I'm amazing.

        I don't care who wants to criticize me for saying it, but I seriously hope FRO kicks his ass to the moon, or at least into reality. He is a criminal, in more ways than one, and should be dealt with as one. I would be disgusted as a new partner by anyone that treated their ex and child(ren) like that. The relationship would end quickly, that's for damn sure.

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        • #49
          I’m doing that whole living like a broke person thing too.I’m so diligent in this lifestyle that I shop in Value Village fulltime and the four letters that make my heart jump is... SALE at the foodstore.It really is an awesome disguise lol!Back to school isn't cheap either.

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          • #50
            Lol. I go to VV quite often too. I even enjoy it, and so does S13!! Yes, I do a bang up job of "acting" broke! Ex is such a douche. It amazes me they find stupid women to hook up with in the midst of their separations/divorce. I mean these types of guys, specifically. Not all men behave this way.

            Oh well. What goes around, comes around. One day the wifey will be dining at the buffet of Humble Pie too. Eating her words, eating the same crap I've had to some days as a result of being with a jack ass. Yes he was always a jack ass, but in my defense - when I met him, he did not have kids w/anyone else or ANY court action of any kind, going on. But I fully accept that I was a fool for being wth him. There's not a single thing I miss or respect about him. I even feel a sense of shame for having been with him at all. If I could go back in time: I would have left him when I was pregnant. I am thankful for the amazing child I have. I feel sorry for all his kids. They have a sociopath for a father.

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            • #51
              Investigation Discovery Channel has a great show called "Who the *bleep* did I marry?" I love that show!! Highly recommend adding that as a specialty channel if you don't have it included in your cable package!!! It's 282 I think, w/Rogers and 528 with Bell (in the GTA)

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              • #52
                Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                Investigation Discovery Channel has a great show called "Who the *bleep* did I marry?" I love that show!! Highly recommend adding that as a specialty channel if you don't have it included in your cable package!!! It's 282 I think, w/Rogers and 528 with Bell (in the GTA)
                Would love to watch that...could bring back some fond memories Do you find yourself pointing out things that your ex did too?

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                • #53
                  Update: Ex is piling up 'new arrears' - has not submitted fro's "vaps" documents for which he had 30 days to do so, within. FRO has gone to next step "Federal Garnishment" - he is self employed. I'm not sure how this will impact him. Not sure if Driver's License suspension is next. Hard to imagine this will ever just go smoothly. It's a different adventure every month.

                  All this bs, despite his ability to just follow the order and pay the amt he has been ordered to pay. To date, I am not dissatisfied with the FRO. I only wish they were a little more aggressive with cases where the payor is so non-compliant. They should also be able to put liens on "marital property" or the MH, even IF his 'name' is not on title. Mat Home should mean it's his too (because it IS) even if he is not registered on the title. It would be nice to collect the full arrears owing to me upon the sale of their house (which is for sale). I'd actually have a slight hope in hell of making a recovery.

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                  • #54
                    Hope that works out for you Hadenough What is so wrong with making a tiny effort to support your kids?

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                    • #55
                      FRO will soon be putting next step of enforcement in place. Writ of seizure etc. Since ex has nothing in 'his' name - this does little good. There is the possibility (due to his lack of cooperation w/Fro) that they will also send notice of license suspension w/this 'next step'. I think that might get his attention, although I would not put it past him to drive w/a suspended license...

                      I feel F.R.O is doing a pretty good job of staying on top of this.

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                      • #56
                        FRO has put a "federal garnishment" on my ex as well. Works well when he gets his income tax and any other federal $$. It gives my son money in lump sums. He enjoys it and I cannot say i blame him.
                        They also state they reported him to the credit bureau, not sure that does anything, but I just let FRO do their thing although after a year of no money I had to ask for the garnishee.
                        I believe that they should be on top of these things themselves so we don't have to deal with the extra added stresses.

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                        • #57
                          I was told by several ppl to "stay on top of them" (fro). And I am. I am so tired of the ex getting away with everything. I think it might be starting to get to him. The silly thing is, is that HE is delliberately sabotaging things for himself in his efforts to screw me. Reporting him to the Credit Bureau I'm sure is next. FRO is doing more and in less time than anyone else has. I don't even think his trustee reported him to the credit bureau. He is burying himself despite his means and ability to cooperate by paying the court ordered amount every month.

                          He hurts everyone, including himself and his new family in his concerted effort to try and make things harder for me. It's insane.

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                          • #58
                            If you get word his license has been suspended, and he comes to pick up the kidlet while driving....you can either refuse to hand the child over, or call the cops and report his license plate and where he is at/will be at so they can catch him.

                            Maybe a couple of fines/etc will wake him up.

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                            • #59
                              Thx NBDad. I will be advised if/when his license is suspended. This wknd ex cancelled with S13 via text msg stating that he's "really broke." What he "really is" - is full of crap.

                              I rarely communicate (and then only via email) w/ex, but I did yesterday as I'd hoped he would help S13 fix his bike this wknd. I also had plans this wknd, under the assumption that I was child-free. I very politely stated that it was important for S13 to have time with his father and that I encouraged the relationship.

                              In response, I received a very hostile email that basically told me to "stick my guilt trips" etc, and that was the end of that.

                              Now we have a broken bike - I don't know how to fix it - and once again Dad has decided to cancel his access weekend. S13 doesn't appear to be bothered but it is all pretty pathetic. I can take the tire in to get a new inner tube but that doesn't replace the father-son time and being "shown" how to fix it.

                              Or, and this is always fun - I can ask a few men I know if they can show him how to fix it. Groan. Chances are I'll be heading to a bike shop although S13 says if we buy the tube, he will look on youtube for instruction. It makes me sad. Sorry, but "Dad" in our case is a useless twit. Furthermore, if his license does get taken away - I won't deny that I'll get some entertainment from that.

                              I can deal w/his nastiness to me (ignore it) but it's the way he treats our son that really gets under my skin. Whatever the FRO does to him, he's asking for it. I will never have one ounce of sympathy for him.
                              Last edited by hadenough; 08-23-2012, 01:04 PM.

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                              • #60
                                Hadenough, he is selling, and then buying, correct?

                                If FRO can file a writ fast enough, you are correct, no one will search his name on the sale, so not much will happen on the sale.

                                But his name will get searched on the purchase, if he is guaranteeing the mortgage for their next home (and he more than likely is).

                                The writ won't "attach" to the next home it his name isn't on title, but as soon as their real estate lawyer searches borrower/guarantors under the writ system, poop will hit the fan in the law office and whichever mortgage company he is going with. It will affect their new financing.
                                Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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