Seeking opinions/advice on my situation

[Janus]

Originally Posted by rockscan

You may want to do some research about the inheritance. I have a feeling its open to her in a full fight.

Inheritance was kept in a separate account. I think it is safe, she has almost zero chance of getting it.

Originally Posted by blinky

Your inheritance has zero impact on the marital family financial split.

If she wants to keep the house then she can buy out your share. It's up to her to secure the financing to do so, you don't need to be concerned about how much the mortgage payment is and if she can afford it, that's her issue to sort out on her own. If the bank says she can't afford it then it gets listed and sold and the equity gets split - after any marital debts are deducted of course.

As for the dog, you may have to give up the dog if she wants to turn it into a fight. She will tire of it and likely give it back to you when she does.

It's pretty straightforward math. Mediation may help. Your inheritance will not even come into play at all. It's rather ignorant of her to claim you're greedy for an inheritance, you didn't gain $300k, you lost your dad and that's rarely a good trade off. I am soryy for your loss.

Agreed 100% with every paragraph.

[toilet]

Is a separation agreement mandatory or can we just skip that if we both don’t want to bother?

[denbigh]

Im not sure how the inheritance plays into it, but outside of that you must , legally , split all assets 50/50. I think you have to have a separation agreement, otherwise one of you can go back and say reopen the whole can of worms, and you have to each have independent legal counsel, or similarly one of you can go back and say it wasn't fair. Of course you can agree to something different. I would decide based on how much the dog was worth to you, (I personally would never bother fighting over a dog) and how much money you are willing to spend on lawyers feeds to get 45000. I have thus far spend about 15000 and still don't have a separation agreement finished, still negotiating and probably end up going to preconference, which will be at least another 5000, and if you go to full trial I am told that is easily another 10000. Right now I am deciding if going to pretrial is worth it financially.


to determine equity in the house, you get it appraised by an appraisal company (for the purpose of divorce, as there are different kinds of appraisals). YOu need to know how much it is worth today. Then subtract your mortgage from that. That is your equity. Then you make up alist of all your assests and debts and you figure out what the total value is and you each get half of that. usually one person pays out the other person, usualy the person who keeps the house, and that person has to qualify for the mortgage on their own accord. The bank is not going to let anyone take over the mortage until they see the separation agreement regarding who is getting the house. if no one can afford to take on the mortgage or doesn't want to you sell the house. And since you were both silly enough to sign onto a new 5 year mortgage you are going to have some really stiff prepayment penalties!!!!!! Why didn't you just take out a 1 year open mortgage??? you are going to pay waayyy more in mortgage penalties that you are on the slightly higher interest rate of an open mortgage! I would guess you each pay half of that penatly

[Janus]

Originally Posted by toilet

Is a separation agreement mandatory or can we just skip that if we both don’t want to bother?

You cannot come to an agreement now, so your plan is to not come to an agreement and fight over it later? Are you serious?


To answer your question: It is not mandatory. However, not having one is insane.

[Pursuinghappiness]

Originally Posted by cashcow4ex

Their differences in salary really is negligible for SS purposes. Their is about a $10k difference annually based on the OP's figures. I doubt SS would even be entertained.


My opinion is if he gives in and gives her all the equity of the house, that's just going to cue her to go for more.



I would tell this piece of work to sh#t in her own hands and clap!

I actually agree with this post. She's not going to get any SS over a 10K salary difference, especially if she's making a reasonable living wage...which she is. She has no argument for SS and bottom line, 45K is a significant sum of money and its yours. The house is simply put divided in half. I wouldn't negotiate any other way.

What she says or calls you is immaterial. You're getting divorced and she can be as hostile as she wants...it has zero to do with your split and I GUARANTEE you that you will regret not getting half the equity in your house at some point in your future.

Whether or not she can keep the house is her problem. She can figure out the refinancing after buying you out ...or not. What you should be doing is asking that she tries to get approved for refinancing and if she can't, that the house be sold and you split the proceeds.

As for the dog, I have pets and I love them very, very much. But the only way I'd truly fight over an animal is if I was concerned that she would neglect or abuse the animal. If not and the animal will have a good home with both of you, I'd make the concession to let her keep the dog and purchase a new one. To me, its not worth arguing about unless you're concerned for the dog's safety or emotional health. But ultimately, that's your call.

But the financial stuff is an easy decision to me. Take your half...ignore her and her lawyer...move on with life.

[Pursuinghappiness]

Originally Posted by Janus

You cannot come to an agreement now, so your plan is to not come to an agreement and fight over it later? Are you serious?


To answer your question: It is not mandatory. However, not having one is insane.

Agreed. You have a home together, you need an agreement. Get it done, get it writing, split everything right down the middle (including the household contents).

[toilet]

Originally Posted by denbigh

Im not sure how the inheritance plays into it, but outside of that you must , legally , split all assets 50/50.

can't we just request divorce only and just not request equalization? Then we are free to do whatever we want? Or do the courts force equalization even on a joint divorce?

[standing on the sidelines]

Originally Posted by toilet

can't we just request divorce only and just not request equalization? Then we are free to do whatever we want? Or do the courts force equalization even on a joint divorce?

why the rush??? Do things properly. You two can decide how you want to split your assets the way you BOTH agree to.

I take it that maybe you want it rushed in order to get married again? That is the only reason I can think of.

[Berner_Faith]

Originally Posted by toilet

can't we just request divorce only and just not request equalization? Then we are free to do whatever we want? Or do the courts force equalization even on a joint divorce?

Sure you can but without an agreement even after the divorce she can come back on you and request whatever she wants. I’m not sure what you’re not understanding from the posters here. You are setting yourself up to be screwed. You need an agreement to protect yourself in the future. But hey if you think you can trust this woman you has threatened to go after your inheritance and keep the dog if you don’t do what she says then trust her... why keep posting the same thing over and over again?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[toilet]

I appreciate everyone’s comments. I think I’ll get in touch with a divorce lawyer and see about getting a separation agreement. I didn’t want to spend the couple thousand but the peace of mind will be worth it down the road. I agree, at this point I’m just being repetitive.