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How long do i need to pay spousal support?

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  • #16
    Very good points raised by Rioe.

    SS is a negotiated matter, unlike CS - this is important to remember.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Rioe View Post
      Make your negotiation starting point 50-50 access, CS by table half offset, no SS and an income imputed to her of what she made before and could therefore make again. That is a perfectly fair and reasonable expectation to have of modern university educated young people.

      The kid has been in daycare even while mom was unemployed? Clearly, the child can continue in daycare and you both can work. It's her choice what form of work that entails. Her marriage is breaking up and she's going to be a single mom. She no longer has the luxury of pursuing a dream career and expecting a partner to support it.

      Let her negotiate you down from there. Be willing to be 'slowly persuaded' to pay SS for two years. That's plenty of time for her to try to make her dream career work and then find a proper job when it doesn't, and the child will definitely be in school by the end of it, if he isn't already, so that excuse is gone too.

      You could also let yourself be negotiated to have a Right of First Refusal clause, which means that if you are unable to care for the child due to your work obligations, you have to offer the time to your ex before hiring a babysitter. That way, your 50-50 access time is enshrined in the agreement, but you recognize that she may be willing and able to help you out sometimes. Just try not to make it a regular thing or she could come back and say she has more than 60% time.

      If she had died instead of breaking up with you, you'd have to work and figure out child care. This is similar, but easier. Maybe you can work more hours on days you don't have the kid, and fewer hours on days he's with you.

      By letting her 'negotiate' you down to things you appear to me to be willing to agree with already, she'll think she's won and be more likely to sign.

      SS duration goes to high end based on the age of the youngest child, due to some outdated notion that women are unable to be employed while they have a kid in school. But the Divorcemate software doesn't tell you that when it spits out that mindboggling duration number. I certainly hope a judge wouldn't order such a thing in your situation.
      Rioe, thanks very much for your advice! I really appreciate it!

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      • #18
        If you have consented (allowed it to happen, agreed etc...) in anyways to her having full custody please do whatever you can do cancel it right now.

        Do NOT

        DO NOT

        DO NOT

        Consent to full custody.

        Change jobs if you have to,

        Spousal Support can be awarded as a form of a SALARY in your situation where a judge would say SURE, the marriage was short but that woman is going to do 100% of the parenting for the next 18 years thus will suffer economic damage so you must PAY her for that damage. Get it?

        Secondly, child support is completely dispropportionate to the cost of raising a child. You will be giving her 15% of your net income + all the benefits. You will still have to have housing space for you kid, take him on vacations, pay for all his expenses (cuz your ex-wife is broke). On top of it, your kid will feel abandoned by you, people will think your ex-wife is a hero, people will think you are a dead beat.

        Thirdly , you don't have to care for your child. You do what single mothers do, you stick them in daycare.

        Fourthly, your 0 income ex-wife is going tobe looking for a sugar daddy far and wide and when she finds him. No matter how far away he is, she is taking your kid and she is gone.

        Fifthly, raising children is very rewarding experience. Better than being a corporate slave or whatever random job you happen to be doing.

        Sole custody is the second biggest scam of the 21st century.
        Last edited by Links17; 11-10-2016, 10:46 PM.

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        • #19
          Links17,thanks a lot for your advice! I am now determined to fight for 50/50. What I was thinking about was joint custody, not sole custody. I would never give sole custody to my STBX. Plus, I am in BC. In BC,the guardianship is sepearate from custody concept so she can't take the kid far away without my consent in any circumstances.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by littlemonk View Post
            Links17,thanks a lot for your advice! I am now determined to fight for 50/50. What I was thinking about was joint custody, not sole custody. I would never give sole custody to my STBX. Plus, I am in BC. In BC,the guardianship is sepearate from custody concept so she can't take the kid far away without my consent in any circumstances.
            Correct. BC has really set the standard for how all provinces should deal with mobility. If you are in BC mobility is hard to get even with "sole custody".

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            • #21
              Is BC the only province that has separate definition of custody vs guardianship?

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              • #22
                same situation

                I see this is an old post, but I am in the same situation. Just wondering how you made out. I'm in the same situation .. a 4 year marriage, but we have 3 children. Schedule is a joint 50/50 as per arbitrator in spring 2016. Going back to arbitration in a couple of weeks to determine income imputation and spousal duration. You guessed it, ex refuses to work and expects me to fully support. So, any case law or info would be appreciated. Thank you

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