Situation: SA states that three weekends should be shared equally (mothers day, fathers day and Victoria day weekends) but does not define how they are to be shared. As luck would have it mom is HC and refuses to come to an agreement on how to share them equally. This has been going on for several years. It basically works like this: if its her weekend, its hers... but if its dad's its also hers. She has enjoyed the previous three Victoria day weekends and Mother's and Father's day weekends are shit shows as we never know if we are coming or going or if we will see the kids and when on Father's day weekend or Father's day itself.
So dad sends and email and says this has to stop and would she agree to all of mother's day weekend going to her every year, all of father's day weekend going to him every year and alternating Victoria day weekend's with dad in 2014 since she has enjoyed past three. He advises that he would like to settle this matter once and for all without courts/lawyers if possible and advises he need to know by xx date which was several days out. No response from mom.
So he files a motion and provides that he is looking for an order for the above three weekends as he cannot get mom to agree on how they shall be shared equally.
A few days later dad sends an offer to settle. Simple and to the point, with the same order information that he is asking from the court - M weekend to mom every year, D weekend to dad every year, altnerating V days with dad to commence in 2014. It expired 48 hours after it was sent. It was not accepted.
She did write an email back that said she should have them again this year for V day weekend because its in the children's best interests and because dad didn't exercise his access on another separate occasion (the only time in 5 years he didn't for a birthday dinner) that basically he forfeited his right to V day weekend. She states she can agree to dad having future V day weekends but only *if* the children agree to this. (6 and 12). Reminder: the SA states it is to be shared equally and now she is proposing that she have 4/4 V days and maybe dad can have the next one if the kids agree...
Dad replies to email stating that he will continue with his motion next week as that is the mechanism to use when one party won't adhere to the terms and/or spirit of the SA.
Mom writes an email back today. She still has a lawyer on record but he is not communicative on anything and everything for several months. We continue to serve them both... her email states she will agree to the above and then lists a thousand irrelevant things about her thoughts on dad and his parenting.
Dad immediately sends another offer to settle and puts an expiry of 8 pm tonight. The offer is exactly what she is professing to agree to in her email. But the expiry date/time lapses and of course, we have no signed offer to make an order out of it.
So here we are. Dad will obviously have to go to court next week. We have not received any of her response material as of yet. Obviously he is going to have to try to get these emails in front of the judge to show how HC she is - she agrees but refuses to sign. Rather, she'd rather drag this on and go to court and cost the applicant father more time, effort, etc. Our travel plans for V day weekend are also still on hold as we don't know for certain if we will have kids or not.
I suspect she might sign the offer and send tomorrow but of course, it is not valid as it expired at 8 pm tonight.
Thoughts? How do we frame this nonsense behaviour in court next week? I'm certain judges see this all the time. It is silly. It is immature. It is a complete waste of time - shared equally is equally not 4 out of 4 to the mom and none for the dad.
I'd really appreciate some logic here. Head is full up and growing tired of this. We want to avoid conflict but aren't willing to give up our access just because her knickers are in a knot...
What to do now? I guess just go through the motion to deal with these three weekends? She has already states she is picking the children up tomorrow for mother's day weekend. We aren't going to contest that although we didn't agree to it, we were simply told this is the way it will be... and of course no legal remedy for the other two weekends. Just her email which has never held up any other time over the years before, hence the reason a motion was filed.
Sorry for the long rant.
So dad sends and email and says this has to stop and would she agree to all of mother's day weekend going to her every year, all of father's day weekend going to him every year and alternating Victoria day weekend's with dad in 2014 since she has enjoyed past three. He advises that he would like to settle this matter once and for all without courts/lawyers if possible and advises he need to know by xx date which was several days out. No response from mom.
So he files a motion and provides that he is looking for an order for the above three weekends as he cannot get mom to agree on how they shall be shared equally.
A few days later dad sends an offer to settle. Simple and to the point, with the same order information that he is asking from the court - M weekend to mom every year, D weekend to dad every year, altnerating V days with dad to commence in 2014. It expired 48 hours after it was sent. It was not accepted.
She did write an email back that said she should have them again this year for V day weekend because its in the children's best interests and because dad didn't exercise his access on another separate occasion (the only time in 5 years he didn't for a birthday dinner) that basically he forfeited his right to V day weekend. She states she can agree to dad having future V day weekends but only *if* the children agree to this. (6 and 12). Reminder: the SA states it is to be shared equally and now she is proposing that she have 4/4 V days and maybe dad can have the next one if the kids agree...
Dad replies to email stating that he will continue with his motion next week as that is the mechanism to use when one party won't adhere to the terms and/or spirit of the SA.
Mom writes an email back today. She still has a lawyer on record but he is not communicative on anything and everything for several months. We continue to serve them both... her email states she will agree to the above and then lists a thousand irrelevant things about her thoughts on dad and his parenting.
Dad immediately sends another offer to settle and puts an expiry of 8 pm tonight. The offer is exactly what she is professing to agree to in her email. But the expiry date/time lapses and of course, we have no signed offer to make an order out of it.
So here we are. Dad will obviously have to go to court next week. We have not received any of her response material as of yet. Obviously he is going to have to try to get these emails in front of the judge to show how HC she is - she agrees but refuses to sign. Rather, she'd rather drag this on and go to court and cost the applicant father more time, effort, etc. Our travel plans for V day weekend are also still on hold as we don't know for certain if we will have kids or not.
I suspect she might sign the offer and send tomorrow but of course, it is not valid as it expired at 8 pm tonight.
Thoughts? How do we frame this nonsense behaviour in court next week? I'm certain judges see this all the time. It is silly. It is immature. It is a complete waste of time - shared equally is equally not 4 out of 4 to the mom and none for the dad.
I'd really appreciate some logic here. Head is full up and growing tired of this. We want to avoid conflict but aren't willing to give up our access just because her knickers are in a knot...
What to do now? I guess just go through the motion to deal with these three weekends? She has already states she is picking the children up tomorrow for mother's day weekend. We aren't going to contest that although we didn't agree to it, we were simply told this is the way it will be... and of course no legal remedy for the other two weekends. Just her email which has never held up any other time over the years before, hence the reason a motion was filed.
Sorry for the long rant.
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