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  • Preparing kid for phone contact

    So, in a few weeks, when DD turns 5yo, our order indicates that phone calls will be permitted between DD and the 'other' parent.

    Any suggestions on how to prepare DD for this i.e. what kind of expectations they should have, something to key them up for WANTING to call me when at mom's house. I'm a bit worried that somehow DD will not be interested - either because Mom has turned her against it, or because it is emotionally a strange/new thing for DD to 'cross the streams', or just because it is new. I think that in each household, she is perfectly content with the 'current parent', so I'm not seeing any big need from DD herself for this. She is away from me for 6 days at a time (Thurs-Weds when no weekend), and away from her mom for 2 days at a time (Fri-Su).

    I'm pretty worried what Mom could do with this.

    We've heard a little hint from DD that she will be getting a smartphone soon (gulp!). That right there can be a problem - if she becomes glued to it, then we are meanies for taking it away. We are trying to avoid screen-time & video games for as long as possible (preferring active time, and family activities)....

    I guess the obvious is some practice ... having her call me at work when my partner is at home with her after school. We started doing this, and it is pretty sweet.

    DD has NO experience of mom and I together, and whenever we are all together e.g. at a school event, she has a hard time with it. Mom keeps her distance, so DD cannot be with both of us at once.

    Any ideas? Warnings?
    Last edited by dinkyface; 05-08-2012, 08:45 PM.

  • #2
    Others will have more to expand on I am sure but my view is you guys will be totally fine. The 18 month old well baby visit done by the Ontario government encourages children even at this age to speak on the phone.

    It is a great thing for you and her. It will help with the long gaps you have in seeing one another.

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    • #3
      Don`t over think it...she is young and won`t be able to have a big long conversation with you...at that age just ask her how was her day, and remind her you love her and you will see her soon. Kisses into the phone and make it a fun thing for her and soon she will look forward to it.

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      • #4
        my daughters will call their father at bedtime...once they're laying down they will chat about the day for a bit, then say good night, blow kisses and that's that.... the youngest is just about 4 and won't talk much, but loves her time on the phone with daddy!!

        Best advice - as much as you want this, don't push your child into it... yes mom should be supporting it, but that may be difficult too. If you push too hard, it won't be fun for your child anymore.... Sounds like what you're doing now is fine - getting her to talk on the phone after school - just keep it light and fun

        ETA - at that age, my oldest and I made a game out of remembering the phone number. I taught her my cell number when she was quite young (in case we ever got separated in public...) but then we also made a game out of learning how to dial dad's number. Now she can pick up the house phone and call whenever she wants as she can do it all by herself (and she's really proud of that!)

        did I read your post right - your almost 5 y/o thinks she's getting a smartphone?! seriously?!?! Of course you're the meanie - you're a parent! I hear I'm a mean mom all the time from my youngest - typically in response to putting the markers away, or asking her to put her pj's on..... just one of those things...
        Last edited by cbarker78; 05-09-2012, 08:41 AM.

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        • #5
          my oldest is 2-1/2. I've had minimal phone contact (controlled to one day a week) since october. All i want is for him to hear is an "I love you" and "i'll see you soon". that used to happen. Since Jan, my ex hasn't been able to encourage phone contact and he cries, screams and runs away. She just hands him the phone. However, when i'm present and have him call his grandparents, there is no issue what so ever...

          So, all i can say is that you can't force anyone to be cooperative and encourage your contact. Don't expect much. But be happy if there is phone contact!

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          • #6
            Where are these dad's? are they in prison.....Glad you guys except that the ladies won the bullsh*t battle. Talkin on the phone? is it that impossible for these "ladies" to take there kid to a park for an hour to see a dad? It's crazy the moms will waddle all over the place for dads cash...maybe have a cash tranfer in the park!!!!!Since every single mom says there ex is the re-incarnation of Hilter (and it works) but only after the marriage is over.....if I was forced into that situation I'd have the ex in court for the next 100 years. A dog gets better treatment in society

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            • #7
              Where are these dad's? are they in prison.....Glad you guys except that the ladies won the bullsh*t battle. Talkin on the phone? is it that impossible for these "ladies" to take there kid to a park for an hour to see a dad? It's crazy the moms will waddle all over the place for dads cash...maybe have a cash tranfer in the park!!!!!Since every single mom says there ex is the re-incarnation of Hilter (and it works) but only after the marriage is over.....if I was forced into that situation I'd have the ex in court for the next 100 years. A dog gets better treatment in society
              hahahahahahaha...

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              • #8
                A smart phone could be a good thing. You can have 'face time' with your daughter. This might work out better then just talking. She will be able to see you and might interact better with you.

                If you can do this at bedtime, you can develop a bedtime routine with her. Something small that you could also do with her when she is with you. Reciting a couple of lines from a simple poem, prayer, or story. Something simple, predictable and consistent that she will look forward to.

                I have a 3 year old nephew who likes to do this with his grandparents. He also plays games on his mothers phone, watches shows, etc. It is just part of life these days.

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                • #9
                  Dial the number, hand the kid the phone when the other parent answers. Sit in a chair across the room and read a book until the kidlet is done talking. In other words, make certain the parent with the kid, is the one responsible for making the call. That way if they play games, you simply request for info their phone records. Do it at the same time each night, so it stays consistent.

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