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Settlement Agreement once again

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Mother View Post
    Stripes, thanks muchly for your response.

    From what I see, it just defined what Parent's A access is. Like it says: Parent A shall have alternate Wednesdays to... blah, blah, blah. I didn't see anywhere that is says Parent A should not have access increased, in fact they recommended the increase this Parent's A EOW access from Fri-Sun to Fri-Mon. Parent B denies this increase and tells that it's basically not gonna happen only if they are forced to. Parent B changes their mind so often it's hard to even keep track. Parent B just very recently (like yesterday) said that they "will allow an increase of access when the child turns 12 and only if the child wants to". This is literally what they said, I mean wrote through Wizard. Before that they said at age 5, then during the OCL meetings they said at 10, then yesterday at 12.

    Your thoughts?
    It still sounds simple to me (not easy, because you're dealing with someone who is all over the place, but conceptually simple). Parent A wants to increase access to the child up to the 50/50 mark. In general, it's good for kids to be with both parents, and there's no convincing evidence in this particular case that this is not a good idea (the things that you've quoted Parent B as saying [crabby kid, bored at school] do not strike me as reasons not to increase access; and there is nothing in the OCL report indicating that this is a bad idea). A gradual rather than sudden increase in access is desirable, because you don't want to make an abrupt change in D4's routine and also to give Parent A a chance to find his/her own self-contained home with a room for D4.

    So you propose a schedule which gradually increases access over the next year. Leave a little bit of wiggle room for Parent B to propose changes to your suggested schedule so s/he doesn't feel like it's being enforced on her. And then don't agree to anything which does not allow for this increase in access. Ultimately, if Parents A and B cannot come up with a schedule that they can agree on, a judge will make the call, so prepare yourself for a possible long haul. Parent B does not own the kid, it is not up to him/her to "allow" changes in access.

    As you know, a 50/50 schedule usually triggers a change in CS to offset. You've said that Parent A is willing to continue paying full table CS, they just want the access. However, Parent B might be worried that Parent A will turn around in the future and say "now that I have 50/50, I'm going to ask for the CS payment to be reduced". Would Parent A accept a schedule where they've got just under 50% - say a 45%-55% split - in order to allay any such concerns from Parent B? 45% access plus joint custody still adds up to a lot more kid time than Parent A has now, and it might be a way to get the access increased sooner rather than later.

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    • #32
      BF proposed 1 extra day every 2 weeks from now till school full time September 2014 and then 2-2-3. D4 is half days right now...which is adding one other day every 2 weeks.

      Mom CC Brief stats off set CS= drop in CS of 90$... but keep the same schedule until she is 8. So no that not a worry for CS but....she wants him to pay 65% of all clothing, activities, med no 100$ cap, 4 weeks of day camps and grandma for day care.

      They had a 4 way meeting Dad offered 3000 for her claims...grandma and expense, plus 65% of some items that where not section 7...they jumped on it but when he asked for extra days...they said we will get back to you by end of day.

      They refused the gradual access schedule and put forth one that cut him an over night. Return child on Sunday not Monday is what they wanted.

      Father said no...exchange at school/daycare better for child and father to be in contact with school too.

      He has been doing all the driving....I just started to help because my work is 4 mins from grandmas. I pick up in afternoon. Its smile nod and walk away deal...no conversation to not cause conflict and best for the child. Did not make much sense for him to drive from downtown to do this.

      Her lawyer said that father should be doing all the driving as me doing it take away his acess time.

      Yep, 25 mins will do that! Will be 2 yrs in March that I was intorduced to D4 and a year since we have lived together as a blended family. All kids are doing great. Boys treat her like a sister and she treats them like a brothers.

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      • #33
        Feel for you Mother...but as you can see some will not give time.

        They treat their EX's jsut like sperm donors...it is sad.

        You have dead beat dads out there too that are the other side of the story in some cases.


        Wish you the best and will send you more info soon.

        Good luck!

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        • #34
          They treat their EX's jsut like sperm donors...it is sad.

          Am glad you said it

          Comment


          • #35
            Going back to a Settlement Agreement.

            Should it be a severable or all or nothing type of agreement?

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