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  • help - did I screw up again - Just trying to get a lawyer!

    Did I do something wrong again???? I asked questions of a lawyer before consult and the As suggested it is imperative that i speak with at least a few lawyers before settling one.

    I was slightly uncomfortable paying $400 up front to review easy to resolve finances as cash, home, rrsp's and in our case no loans or credit. - simple (it is already on a side by side ledger of sorts with three columns me-us-stbx) and $400 "down the drain". The lawyer I had an appointment decided not to go forward with the consultation based on my questions. I still need to find a lawyer for me.

    I contacted the divorce specialist law firm here in town and as i spoke with a clerk or two an appointment was set up for a consult - $400. I was offered an opportunity to ask a few questions regarding any issues i may have beforehand to get the best of a $400 appointment.

    The first was a simple one in that they have multiple divorce only lawyers - the question was:
    1. If I consult with one attourney is that mean that i would only be served diectly by that particular lawyer or is thier practice one that several lawyers can be part of my file depending on need and particular experience that matched my needs.

    Actually did quite a bit of reading this weekend and based on what i read I then asked two questions:
    2. Is this particular lawyer fair and willing to treat both sexes equally in that our gender roles are essentially switched and that is ok as it is I who have the various claims under the excluded and exempted sections.
    3. Is the lawyer up to date on the various issues that involved my inheritance, my work accident and the related different payments and money I received thru the WCB and the CPP Disability program. I would hope to not have a bunch of I do not know's but instead an opportunity to support or dispell the "claims" i found under the few basic sections in the acts and what will be the steps to bring resolution to our disageements.

    Do these questions appear straight foward and to the point?

  • #2
    I commend you for taking a very active role in selecting a lawyer! Nothing but good things will come from that.

    The problem I encountered in my quest a number of years ago, for a lawyer, is it is impossible to tell how a particular lawyer will perform for you based on a brief interview. So many things come into play you will never know about. Is the lawyer in financial problems ( this can cause pressure to invoice unfairly even if their is strong ethics). One lawyer I had took off with a 10 k retainer I just deposited, he was an effective lawyer that seemed ethical in my reach of him. Turns out he had enormous financial pressures at the time.

    I found the biggest factor , outside of experience, was time. Does this lawyer have sufficient time in his or her day to focus and actually thinking and researching about your case? A really busy-hectic lawyer will always miss important details.

    I once retained a top family lawyer( $750.00 per hour), not for very long though . I asked him once what was the biggest difference between him and a less costly lawyer? He replied.."time. Most lawyers I tee off against are to busy to pay the needed attention to details. At $750.00 per hour you are paying for my undivided attention. And in many many cases that IS the difference between winning and losing.

    Good luck and I hope this helps.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by staysingle View Post
      I commend you for taking a very active role in selecting a lawyer! Nothing but good things will come from that.

      The problem I encountered in my quest a number of years ago, for a lawyer, is it is impossible to tell how a particular lawyer will perform for you based on a brief interview. So many things come into play you will never know about. Is the lawyer in financial problems ( this can cause pressure to invoice unfairly even if their is strong ethics). One lawyer I had took off with a 10 k retainer I just deposited, he was an effective lawyer that seemed ethical in my reach of him. Turns out he had enormous financial pressures at the time.

      I found the biggest factor , outside of experience, was time. Does this lawyer have sufficient time in his or her day to focus and actually thinking and researching about your case? A really busy-hectic lawyer will always miss important details.

      I once retained a top family lawyer( $750.00 per hour), not for very long though . I asked him once what was the biggest difference between him and a less costly lawyer? He replied.."time. Most lawyers I tee off against are to busy to pay the needed attention to details. At $750.00 per hour you are paying for my undivided attention. And in many many cases that IS the difference between winning and losing.

      Good luck and I hope this helps.
      Probably one of the best descriptions on the price differences I have ever read. Time is the key. If you have a complex issue then what the lawyer knows and the "time" they spend on the file is important. If it is just a "legal check mark" you are looking for then there are cheaper alternatives.

      Why not recommend mediation now to the other party. No stopping you from recommending some mediators to go to.

      Comment


      • #4
        If it were me and I was interested in mediation, I would file an application and push hard at the first case conference for the judge to send us to mediation. Since you are on disability you could very likely get it subsidized.

        At mediation I would take firm stance somewhat below guidelines, and when the ex doesn't budge, this looks bad on them. While it doesn't make a huge difference at trial, it means the conference judge will loose patience with the ex and push hard through the rest of the process.

        Comment


        • #5
          I just typed a good post and again because my fingers, sort of flick around when they feel like it and for the second time tonight - I screwed up and lost it Agggrrr!!! Although this post is regarding "getting that good lawyer" to represent, mediation has been brought up and mediated settlements are by far superiour to court dictating a resolution that may just not be fair or in the best interests of either party.

          Mediation, we just got off a failed round which we got to exactly 1 sit down together in front of the mediator and stbx did all sorts of screaming and I think she has yet to stop!! Cost - beforehand he asked our basic info, savings and incomes so based on our situation he charged my wife $20 a visit and for me $5. There were 5 seperate meetings and in the end (after he got my wife to calm down) he said he would not be able to continue as he had absolutely no experience dealing with my "type" of exclusions and charged us nothing waiving the previous fees as well. I wrongly thought it was a waste of time - being corrected that it revealed my wife's true position, where she stood in the process and what I may expect in the future.

          My main issue is really were do I go from here? As Mees says I believe it may be best to push it a little so she realizes this is serious and it needs to get settled - I could not have said it better - I have told her the same effect but perhaps with the wrong words but the same intent. The longer this goes the harder it will be and there will be a good chance that it will not change the outcome but will dramatically increase both our costs to get there. Finally I have told her several times that once a good offer is tabled that meets the objectives of the acts and she chooses to go further there will be a very strong case to her not only covering her legal fees but mine as well should the final outcome be equal or greater than what was "offered".

          I have long since stopped telling or suggesting or similar for her to get some understanding of the process - I would say it is not my issue anymore as part of the divorce process there is nothing to negotiate or mediate when the stbx is relying on pure emotion and what "she thinks" the laws should be and perhaps the best..... that she doesn't need to follow any laws regarding financial disclosure, our court system and the judges that ultimately shall dictate to her what things WILL be! How do you discuss or mediate with emotions and pure lack of awareness to the various acts that dictate how we will decide our disputes.

          A few posters have made it known that the idea of not liking the decisions of the stbx is well tough. Fair. What is not, is screaming at the fact that I chose to read and learn my rights. Screaming louder will not make the rules and laws within the various acts change for her. Not keeping her word and continually playing by her changing rules and doing things to "get back" at me behind my back will not alter the fact that the financial paperwork and the proof is right there - not wishful, not hopeful but factual - she denies again, just much louder still. Her last steps were to attempt freeze me out financially and I am thankful for the foresight and guideance of Mees in this area.

          Today I need a lawer, there is not much chance at discussion until it will be forced upon her. I respect that at this time she indeed does hold a higher status than me and the kids based on income and we all need her income to keep this place going. She keeps on pushing me to go half when there is no way for me to keep up. I have let her come up with the solid doable plan for the near future that works for both of us.

          Also been suggested to go out of town - 2 hrs to Ottawa,2-1/2 to Toronto but if this ends up to anything that requires court appearance(s) it will cost 1500 min just for travelling let alone court time. We (sorry that would be me!)just do not have that kind of money. Unless I am missing something? Is it possible to actually use an out of town Lawyer,providing whatever help I am able to, and make that work financially?

          Comment


          • #6
            If you are that far from Toronto/Ottawa, if you get a lawyer there and go to court at home, you pay the lawyer 5 hours travel time to sit in a car, plus expenses. In which case, file your application in a court in Toronto or Ottawa, you do the travel and the lawyer is a block away from the courthouse.

            Comment


            • #7
              I had lost my internet connection again as i was sending this like 8 hours ago - internet has been a real frustrating thing on top of it all. I actually thought my stbx had finally figured out how to block me off the family internet access - I did a full reboot install and things are working again - paranioa or things to come??? :-)

              I never realized this was possible - I was always under the impression the file had to be done locally. But to that, that would meem that i would have to be first to submit my application? If the stbx gets it done first than it stays here in Kingston?

              I guess from tv i seam to remember things like requests for change of venue (for what ever your reason may be) The STBX who i shall assume may be here, first step would be for her lawyer to submit to the court an application to have the case heard in Kingston even if my Toronto attourney filed as you said - in their Toronto jurisdiction? I am not even sure if I said that right - but hopefully you understand?

              I have a real hard time travelling but if it means finding the right lawyer and getting this done quickly and "cheaply as possible" I would crawl there if need be.

              Comment


              • #8
                I don't know why you would want to hire an out of town lawyer when everything you've ever posted lists how financially desperate you are. There are bunches of lawyers in Kingston.

                kingston lawyers family - Google Search

                Kingston Family Lawyers - Find a family lawyer or law firm in Kingston

                Took me 30 seconds to find these.

                Comment


                • #9
                  There are a few posters that understand my issues and have gone out of thier way to guided a true greenhorn at this but for the people who do not.... I have not given up the search here in town. Sadly what I have found is many lawyers are well generallists from land to house sale transactions and many do not have litigation - they do not take cases that go or may go to that level. It is not a easy as a google.

                  Yes I admit that much of my issue deals with more abscure, but not any less valid areas of family law. Can be fairly deep as it requires an understanding of current "case law" as I have been told - how are courts deciding in the area(s) to which I find my financial future. So I have been told by lawyers who happen to be on those lists that you linked (I looked as I never give up a lead!) that they were not willing to take on my case with the issues I have. Sigh..... I even have a list of lawyers who will do family law that was provided by the local family court - I have reviewed most and spoken to the promising ones.

                  Can I give up? no! What I could do better is how to ask the right questions at the get go - not to waste either our time or money. But since my financial future is bleek without a fair settlement that includes some of the advantages bestowed on me by rights of the injury I sustained ironically 3 months before I was married. Family law has some specific sections that treat certain money recieved in a different light (a rough recollection of the case law wording) "in that they are not able to be truely shared with any other individual - even your spouse so some of the injury awards I recieved shall be, as I understand, treated as if owned at the date of marriage and as a result do not need to meet the normal requirement of having to be tracable in its original form or......" it goes on but my spouse (sorry stbx!) will not hear of such blasphemy!!!

                  Plus there is the issue of inheritance - finally I was informed from a lawyer who has some knowledge that the once very strict rules of maintaining all such money being kept seperate from all other family affairs (aside from the fact that most of our married life it was very much a requirement that my wife have control of my finances as I was unable to myself due to medical issues resulting from that original "fateful" day 25 years ago.....) sorry to finish, I was told that very recently the courts have removed the very strict conditions for all as we do live a very joined relationship emotionally and financially in the times of today.

                  there is more but I think it answers why it is harder than grabbing the first lawyer - I know there has to be one that has experience in these areas and will not need to bill at $300 hours (how many???) to learn and get up to speed on the law as it applies to our financials. Sorry to be so long winded but for all who follow and perhaps already understood by many I have a tough road ahead and the start is good representation. I do not have the physical stamina to stand before the court and self represent - I have a hard enough time remembering which day it is sometimes!!

                  Comment

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