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  • #31
    Originally posted by MS Mom View Post
    I think we need to realize that the inequities exist for both men and women.

    But, it must also be said that just becuase a father doesn't have a child 50/50 it doesn't automatically mean that they experienced gender bias. It could be because they don't want it. The presumption that mom is just being difficult for financial reasons is a HUGE jump in many circumstances. It wouldn't apply to anyone I know.

    Women suffer the same institutional abuse you refer to. I'm dealing with "legal abuse" right now. And there will be no real consequence for his actions. I can't take the child away, he abandoned her.
    I totally agree the amount of Men who totally abandon their children boggles my mind.

    I know three 3 people who have done just that. Then they are shocked that I got 50/50. They claim they got screwed by the system and then say I was crazy for not moving out and they couldn't have dealt with that. I would deal with anything to fight for my children. But that's just me.

    I also know one woman who did the same thing.

    Comment


    • #32
      Just because a man doesn't have his children 50/50 it doesn't mean he was "deprived" "bullied" or the courts were biased. It may mean he didn't want his kids 50/50.
      My ex tried for sole custody and he's very male. I initially offered a joint custody, mediated divorce because I just wanted out of the marriage. He got extremely angry, hired a male right's attorney and filed for a contested divorce asking for exclusive possession of the house, sole custody, and all the marital assets. He told me he would spend whatever necessary to ensure that I didn't have access to any money or my children.

      Fast forward to today...he hasn't spoken to the eldest child in over a year, doesn't even call her on birthdays or Christmas. He tried every lie in the book and didn't gain custody of the youngest either. In fact, for all intents and purposes...I have sole custody due to his antics with our custody evaluator.

      I deal with his crap constantly. This week, he tried to go to the school and change her bus location to his house without my knowledge...luckily my daughter mentioned to me that he did this...so I was able to go into the school and have it changed back. He leaves for work 2 hours earlier than she leaves from school but hates having to drop her off at my house for bus pickup so he'd rather leave her alone. He ended up having a meltdown on my kid to the point that she was so distraught (shaking and crying that I almost ended up keeping her home from school one morning). When I simply forwarded the custody agreement to him and reminded him that he can't unilaterally do this stuff and to please stop freaking out on our kid, he sends me a page long hostile email calling me names, telling me that he will do whatever necessary to keep me away from my kid, etc., etc., etc.. Then in a fit of rage, doesn't bother to pick her up after work on his access days for the past couple days this week or send an email saying he's not coming. Not that I mind having my daughter...its been lovely. But I'm watching him slowly kill the relationship he has with her by his own actions. Most of the time, she doesn't even want to go to his house anymore.

      I just always find it amusing reading the generalities about women on this forum. Its not always women that pull this crap. I've never once tried to keep my ex away from his children. And I never bother to react to his drama-laden narcissistic freak-outs. I simply file it under D-Bag mail on my computer in case I end up back in court and move on. Men are perfectly capable of being annoying idiots during and after divorce...just like some women are.

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by Serene View Post
        ...Regardless of what I think about the sentiments of Mother's post there IS evidence that speaks to the truth of the matter. Father's ARE discounted too often in the eyes of authorities, professionals and in the community. Even in the eyes of individuals who are obligated...
        I agree in part with this statement. I also partly disagree with statements from others, who say if Dad doesn't have their child 50/50, it's because they don't want it.

        I think fathers/dads do experience the bias more, against 50/50, from the "pros" or institutions. I agree, both male and female will try to work against 50/50, so it's not one sex there, who will fight "against it". But when it comes to the institutional bias, it's Dad's that experience it more.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by dad2bandm View Post
          I agree in part with this statement. I also partly disagree with statements from others, who say if Dad doesn't have their child 50/50, it's because they don't want it.

          I think fathers/dads do experience the bias more, against 50/50, from the "pros" or institutions. I agree, both male and female will try to work against 50/50, so it's not one sex there, who will fight "against it". But when it comes to the institutional bias, it's Dad's that experience it more.
          I think what I actually said was it doesn't mean they experienced bias. The conclusion has been to jump to it was denied, they were a victim of bias that's why they don't have 50/50.

          You can't fight against what isn't asked for.

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by MS Mom View Post
            I think what I actually said was...
            Perhaps. I was speaking to multiple postings by people in that vein.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by MS Mom View Post
              You know what I absolutely and completely detest??

              Bad grammar.
              Have a Nice Day
              Darling, I came to this country knowing ZERO English not so long ago. Never, not for one minute was on welfare or whatever government financial help is available.

              I am VERY proud of myself that I learned and know English language the way I do, that I can work for a good company in a nice office professional environment and my client absolutely live me. I have good money and being respected at my work place, my community for my human qualities you do not obviously have, dear.

              I really, really want to send you to Hell but I am sure I don't need to do this. You will find your way without my help. But I'll tell you this: put your perfect grammar in your ass. Good luck.

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by Serene View Post
                Just wanted to chime in on Mother's post the other day.

                I was initially offended by it but have read it several times over. I'm going to go out on a limb and say this post was very therapeutic for the individual.

                Regardless of what I think about the sentiments of Mother's post there IS evidence that speaks to the truth of the matter. Father's ARE discounted too often in the eyes of authorities, professionals and in the community. Even in the eyes of individuals who are obligated professionally or by virtue of oath to treat both parents fairly. Hell, more fathers do NOT have school bus transportation for their children because the Mother's address is the ONLY address the school transportation authorities will even reckognize, which places value on one parent, the mother, moreso than the father. This is in contravention of our human rights.

                Think about the inequity in the treatment of Father's and the obstacles they must overcome to just participate in the lives of their children. Many organizations and institutions willfully aide the mother's in creating obstacles that threaten the father-child relationships. This is institutional abuse. The sad reality is, that the Father's are so busy fighting to maintain contact with their children, and fighting the courts to provide a mechanism to enable them to be reassured their relationships with their children are protected, that they are unable to fight the institutional abuse.

                What a F'd up world we live in. Makes no sense...
                Thank you!

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by Mother View Post
                  Darling, I came to this country knowing ZERO English not so long ago. Never, not for one minute was on welfare or whatever government financial help is available.

                  I am VERY proud of myself that I learned and know English language the way I do, that I can work for a good company in a nice office professional environment and my client absolutely live me. I have good money and being respected at my work place, my community for my human qualities you do not obviously have, dear.

                  I really, really want to send you to Hell but I am sure I don't need to do this. You will find your way without my help. But I'll tell you this: put your perfect grammar in your ass. Good luck.
                  And the former rant wasn't directed at me?

                  Have a Nice Day

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                    My ex tried for sole custody and he's very male. I initially offered a joint custody, mediated divorce because I just wanted out of the marriage. He got extremely angry, hired a male right's attorney and filed for a contested divorce asking for exclusive possession of the house, sole custody, and all the marital assets. He told me he would spend whatever necessary to ensure that I didn't have access to any money or my children.

                    Fast forward to today...he hasn't spoken to the eldest child in over a year, doesn't even call her on birthdays or Christmas. He tried every lie in the book and didn't gain custody of the youngest either. In fact, for all intents and purposes...I have sole custody due to his antics with our custody evaluator.

                    I deal with his crap constantly. This week, he tried to go to the school and change her bus location to his house without my knowledge...luckily my daughter mentioned to me that he did this...so I was able to go into the school and have it changed back. He leaves for work 2 hours earlier than she leaves from school but hates having to drop her off at my house for bus pickup so he'd rather leave her alone. He ended up having a meltdown on my kid to the point that she was so distraught (shaking and crying that I almost ended up keeping her home from school one morning). When I simply forwarded the custody agreement to him and reminded him that he can't unilaterally do this stuff and to please stop freaking out on our kid, he sends me a page long hostile email calling me names, telling me that he will do whatever necessary to keep me away from my kid, etc., etc., etc.. Then in a fit of rage, doesn't bother to pick her up after work on his access days for the past couple days this week or send an email saying he's not coming. Not that I mind having my daughter...its been lovely. But I'm watching him slowly kill the relationship he has with her by his own actions. Most of the time, she doesn't even want to go to his house anymore.

                    I just always find it amusing reading the generalities about women on this forum. Its not always women that pull this crap. I've never once tried to keep my ex away from his children. And I never bother to react to his drama-laden narcissistic freak-outs. I simply file it under D-Bag mail on my computer in case I end up back in court and move on. Men are perfectly capable of being annoying idiots during and after divorce...just like some women are.
                    Oh, do I relate to this....oh, do I.....

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Mother View Post
                      ......I can work for a good company in a nice office professional environment and my client absolutely live me. I have good money and being respected at my work place, my community for my human qualities
                      Your point being?

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by firhill View Post
                        Your point being?
                        Hard to decipher her clients "live" her, and she has HUMAN qualities.

                        I think she was putting me down by building herself up or something like that.

                        Can't even figure out the motive really? Pissed that her husband pays full child support for his kids even though he has them 40.02% of the time, and believes this is due to the conspiracy against men in family law.

                        I think? Dunno, but nobody, and I mean nobody calls me DARLING

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by MS Mom View Post
                          ........Pissed that her husband pays full child support for his kids even though he has them 40.02% of the time.......
                          It's not her husband.
                          Her posts all refer to some other guy's situation.

                          I'd guess her brother or maybe she was a surrogate mother for the guy and his now ex-wife.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by firhill View Post
                            It's not her husband.
                            Her posts all refer to some other guy's situation.

                            I'd guess her brother or maybe she was a surrogate mother for the guy and his now ex-wife.
                            That just spun my head in all sorts of directions.

                            Comment

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