Sent yet another email, trying to isolate where exactly the problem is (who gets first vs second half? period start/end dates? What is midpoint date for handover?) and to get her to say what exactly it is she doesn't agree with, or to let me know what dates she DOES feel are correct. My initial email gave 3 dates - prior weekend dropoff, midpoint xmas handover, end of xmas handover. No idea which one(s) she is objecting to or what it is in the court order she is misunderstanding (all the while thinking - am *I* misinterpreting something?).
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Finally, a response. She wants to change the court ordered days so that
- child has 2 fewer days 'absent' from daycare
- HER period centres more evenly around xmas (23-28, vs 20-25)
And this is achieved by reducing my xmas time by 2 days (no change to her # days)!
And she says 'I trust you agree this is fair'.
Funny!!!!
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Even more funny, because the few times I have asked for a day or partial day switch in the past, she has refused (although she always offered to cancel my access altogether). 2 of those times were to attend job interviews that it would not have been wise to attempt to reschedule.
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I would simply state to her that the consent order states X (quote the order again). Accordingly you expect her to abide by the consent order and arrange for the children to be exchanged to you for your parenting time. The issue with missing daycare is not a concern of yours as it is more important that the children spend time with their parents then 3rd party caregivers.
State you will be at the exchange point at the prescribed time so that you may exercise your parenting time.
You are pretty much going to have to say to her that you are taking your time as the order provides. Nothing more, nothing less. She is only going to offer alternatives that are better for her, so negotiating with her will become an exercise in futility. The order states you get the second half of the school break, you are taking that unless she can provide some alternative that is mutually agreeable. And losing 2 days because she doesn't want the kids out of daycare is not acceptable.
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You've tried to be reasonable, and she is not being reasonable. State that unless you can both come to an agreement the you both agree on, then you will be following the court order.
Hammer is right, kids should not be in daycare over the holidays if one parent is available. I still have to pay for daycare that week, even if she isn't there, but I would rather have time with my child than "get my money's worth"
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I explained my position, and offered some alternatives and compromises (pure guesses, since she never actually said what she didn't like about the court ordered days). No response. We now have a court date for an urgent police enforcement motion (which curiously includes a motion to disclose her address, which she's denying I should know). Oh god...Last edited by dinkyface; 12-02-2010, 05:44 PM.
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Yup. She's not responding... On handover today she kept her cellphone glued to her ear (but not talking) ... a technique she's (wisely) adopted when she's too furious to control what would come out of her mouth if she opened it. She can still avoid court if she responds.Last edited by dinkyface; 12-02-2010, 06:01 PM.
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I think mom is cracking. She is now refusing to provide any change of clothing (I pay full CS). So, I pick daughter up from daycare on Friday, and there have been 2 poo/pee accidents. I go to get the bag of clothes provided to daycare, and they say mom has instructed them not to let me take them. Which means that there are now 2 wet/soiled pairs of pants that have to remain in the daycare cubby over the weekend. Oky dokey!
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Originally posted by dinkyface View Post(which curiously includes a motion to disclose her address, which she's denying I should know). Oh god...
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