Variance in child support

[cat40]

My husband and I have been apart since March 2005 and divorced in July 2008. We have a child support agreement from October 2006 signed and witnessed. He started paying when I moved into my own house in February 2007. At the time I had 3 children living with me 18 16 and 14 and all attending school. My eldest starting running into difficulty and ended up living with him from late March till she moved out on her own in Sept. She was working at the time and going to school paying with student loans and her part time job.
Unfortunately the pressure of it all proved to be too much for her, she became quite depressed and attempted suicide in june of 2008. She then came back to live with me and due to her mental condition was unable to go to school or work and was completely dependant on me financially and emotionally. My ex husband refused to pay child support for all 3 children even though he knew the circumstances and my daughters unstable emotional state. I was forced to register our child support aggreement with the courts and FRO. He only paid for 2 children and skipped several payments which caused him to accummulate arrears. Then in July 2009 he stopped paying child support completely and in September he applied to the courts for a variance to have the child support decreased also saying that he's been over paying and I owe him 17,000 in over payments. According to the FRO he is over $15,000 in arrears and we are currently going through lawyers to solve this. He keeps asking me to call the FRO and stop their actions and the accummulation of arrears. He tells me that I will end up losing in court so he'll stop the action if I stop the FRO and he says he'll give me post dated cheques for a fraction of the child support I was getting. We've been down that road before and I had to chase down every cheque and dealt with some NSF cheques and him arbitrarily deducting money from the child support when he felt he spent something on the children and I owed it to him. I've become unsure of myself and worried about the out come. I'm having some financial difficulties and I'm worried that I may end up having to sell my house to make debt payments and pay lawyers fees.
Very confused and worried and feeling the pressure....if anyone can advise I'd appreciate it.
Cat

[mominont]

I'm not entirely sure he would be obligated to provide for the oldest child. You might be required to support your claim and show doctors recommendations.

However a judge is not going to be on his side considering that he stopped paying everything..at the very least he should have still put in the child support for the two children..

Its unfortunate that you both couldn't reach an agreement regarding the oldest child but I certainly wouldn't remove your order from the FRO cause he probably still won't give you a dime!

Only you would know if his numbers are correct...calculating what he would pay for 2 children vs 3 children. While the child lived with him, did he still pay support for 3 children in your care?

When is your court date if he applied to the court for a variance? He should have had a court date - maybe he had a meeting with a lawyer maybe he's calling your bluff?

[cat40]

The court case conference is in December. I have a doctors note stating that my daughter was unable to attend school or work and he only paid for 3 children for 1 month then paid for 2 except for the months he skipped and then stopped payng in the summer

[frustrated11]

I still don't think he is no longer required to support the eldest child. She dropped out of post secondary education on her own free will, go for support of the other 2 children plus any special expenses (college) for the 1st child, you will most likely see a more positive outcome. he is on the hook for the other 2 no matter what

[cat40]

When it comes to special or extraordinary expenses...
My daughter got into some trouble last year and incurred some criminal charges. I paid 7000.00 in lawyers fees and for that she got off and had her fingerprints and pictures taken off her record. Her father hasn't contributed to this although I have asked. I think the lawyer I hired did an excellent job...the charges were quite serious and would have followed her through the years to come. Not exactly the way I wanted her life to begin : (

[workinginthesystem]

You should ask your lawyer this question - he or she would have a pretty good idea what risks you face in going to court and what you would be giving up by settling.
However, I would say don't leave FRO. There is no incentive for him to pay at all if you do.
Were you married? The Divorce Act says you still pay child support if a child is dependant by reason of illness, disability or other cause. Severe depression would fit that. If you're not under Divorce Act, there will be a different definition, and she might have had to be in full time school.
Lawyers fees resulting from a criminal charge aren't special or extraordinary expenses as defined by the child support guidelines. Sorry.
You've got your hands full - too bad he won't cooperate.

[cat40]

We are divorced and from the little research I've done I thought that my oldest daughter was dependant d/t her illness. Now another issue....my 18 year old finished her last semester of highschool in Feb. 2009 and started working part time to get together her tuition for post secondary school. She didn't have enough money by Sept so she is now starting in Jan 2010. At what point does her dad's obligation to pay child support end (if at all) I know when the child is out of school for the summer he still has to pay support but what happens when things go wrong and there isn't enough money to pay for school in the fall and she has to keep saving. She is dependant on me as she was before because I'm not making her pay any room and board because I know she's saving for school.

[workinginthesystem]

There's not a clear answer on that one. Some judges would agree that she's still dependant, as she's saving up for school and not able to support herself yet. Others would say that she's independent now, but will become dependant again when she returns to school.

[cat40]

Well just to let everyone know..the case conference took place and my daughter is a dependant(she was severely depressed) so he had to pay the full table amount for her. So far I've spent almost $7000.00 in legal fees and I'm sure he's spent almost as much. He managed to save himself $3000.00 in arrears but still owes $7000.00 in arrears. His monthly payments haven't really changed all that much. That money could have been used to help pay my other daughter's tuition fees. So ultimately it was a loss for my children and the cost of legal fees when all he needed to do was educate himself about the child support guidelines. Unfortunate that his lesson has cost us all : (

[cat40]

Thanks scared1 I've been trying for the last year and a half to get child support from him for my oldest daughter who was home and being treated for depression but unable to get through to him. It was nice to even have his lawyers on my side. I just wish he'd done his research and we could have solved this without the legal fees.