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  • Mediation without full disclosure

    I have a scheduled mediation next week but my ex has not provided full disclosure on her overseas assets. I have asked months in advance and they still have not provided banking, pension, benefit details.

    Will this be a big waste of time going into mediation when not all disclosure has been made. If I ask that the mediation be moved until we get full disclosure would this look negatively on me?

    They did prove some documents but it was all in a foreign language and when I asked for English translations her lawyer said that it's my responsibility to take this to a translator if I want to rely on this documents. I have not done so yet.

  • #2
    If she isn’t willing to disclose information she will more than likely be unwilling to mediate. Plus she is not doing it in good faith.

    You will need an order to compel her to disclose.


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    • #3
      Agree with Rocksan. If your ex is high conflict or non-cooperative with disclosure then get the hell out of mediation unless you have foolishly signed up for med/arb like I did. Then I would force the mediation to go ahead as quickly as possible so you can get to arbitration. The arbitrator can make an award(order) compelling your ex to provide disclosure
      and hit her with costs if she fails to comply.

      Be warned, they will tell you that
      Med/arb is quicker and cheaper, however in my case it’s proved to be more expensive and with delays, after more than 3 years is certainly NOT any faster than court litigation. My case is likely the unfortunate exception. Irregardless, I would NEVER EVER recommend mediation or arbitration to anyone who has a deceitful or unco-operative STBX.

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      • #4
        Med/arb is quicker and cheaper, however in my case it’s proved to be more expensive and with delays, after more than 3 years is certainly NOT any faster than court litigation. My case is likely the unfortunate exception. Irregardless, I would NEVER EVER recommend mediation or arbitration to anyone who has a deceitful or unco-operative STBX.
        Stillbreathing and others, I want to caution against all or nothing thinking. In my experience having worked on hundreds of family law cases, med-arb IS usuallyfaster than court. That doesn't mean it would be in all circumstances. Furthermore, SB it's possible the delays you endured in med/arb would have also existed in the court process. Just because it took over three years doesn't mean the alternative was faster... no one can truly answer this.

        Med-arb is a great choice for certain matters. But not suitable for all matters. Take your lawyer's advice.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Kinso View Post
          Stillbreathing and others, I want to caution against all or nothing thinking. In my experience having worked on hundreds of family law cases, med-arb IS usuallyfaster than court. That doesn't mean it would be in all circumstances. Furthermore, SB it's possible the delays you endured in med/arb would have also existed in the court process. Just because it took over three years doesn't mean the alternative was faster... no one can truly answer this.

          Med-arb is a great choice for certain matters. But not suitable for all matters. Take your lawyer's advice.

          I think mediation is great and works for a lot of people HOWEVER there are those cases where mediation never works. My caution was a situation of if your ex isn’t following disclosure, mediation won’t force her.


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          • #6
            What Rocksan said. Both parties need to be willing to co-operate and come to the table with “clean hands “. This includes being honest and forthright with disclosure and other requests, a willingness to listen to the other side and negotiate in good faith, a common goal of settling their file and a willingness to abide by any orders made. If not you could be in for a rough ride. This is meant as a caution only. Med/arb can be positive and likely is in the majority of cases, however there is always a down side to anything and you should be aware what that is so you can make an educated decision.

            What Kinso said is correct, that my matter may have languished an additional three years in the courts on top of the 6 years it has already spent there. However, it would have been far less expensive in the courts as I would not have had to pay the arbitrator and for that reason alone I would not recommend it!
            Last edited by Stillbreathing; 10-28-2020, 01:28 PM.

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            • #7
              Would it look negatively on me if I ask to adjourn the mediation until all disclosure is presented? If we do go to court would this bite me in the butt?

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              • #8
                Are you in mediation or med/arb? It shouldn’t look negative on you because you can not fairly negotiate the terms of your settlement until all the cards are on the table (AKA full disclosure). You can tell them they have until such and such date to provide you with the disclosure you have requested or else you will be adjourning mediation(make sure your mediation contract allows you to do this ), returning to court, bringing a motion for disclosure and asking for costs against them. Then do it. You will get a disclosure order from a judge. Gaurenteed. However as for Costs, maybe, maybe not. Disclosure order yes.
                Last edited by Stillbreathing; 10-28-2020, 05:14 PM.

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                • #9
                  I would also caution OP on knowing what she is and isnt entitled to. I went back and read previous posts and it sounds like it was a short marriage with limited assets. If this is the case, technically you are only entitled to a share of the increase in value of any investments. There is no matrimonial home since you lived in a house your sister in law purchased and lived in. Not to mention spousal support will be limited based on the duration of the marriage. If this is true then your focus should be on disclosure of income and value of assets on date of marriage and separation. Otherwise you are wasting time fighting for something you are not entitled to.

                  Your lawyer gets paid regardless of what you get so weigh that out when you go through this.


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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Kinso View Post
                    Med-arb is a great choice for certain matters. But not suitable for all matters. Take your lawyer's advice.
                    Where med-arb is not suitable is in a situation where you don't want the person arbitrating to know what your position in mediation was.

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