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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 10-18-2019, 09:11 PM
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mcdreamy mcdreamy is offline
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I would have patted her on her ass, settled her into her car seat and sent her on her way. Screaming all the way, looks like. How many more exchanges before she figures out her screaming doesn't work in enabling committed parenting? You keep the exchanging.
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  #12  
Old 10-18-2019, 10:16 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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If she’s only 3, can’t you physically pick her up and put her in his car? Or grab her doll or stuffy and pretend it is kicking and screaming and you’re telling the doll to stop that, pretend it hit you in the face or the stomach and double over, ask your kid to help you get the doll in the car? Kids often love that kind of thing and it distracts them from their own bad mood. Or use reverse psychology and tell the doll not to put you in the car and pretend it’s pulling you to the car.
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Old 10-18-2019, 11:13 PM
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The dad was picking her up and mom wasn’t there. Sounds like dad just doesn’t have the parenting skills he needs for a toddler - probably didn’t want to “force” her because he wants to be seen as the “fun” parent so he was looking for grandma to play the heavy for him.

A huge part of parenting is setting the situation up well in advance with child-centred logistics like minimizing transitions and knowing how to be loving but firm. He probably won’t take kindly to parenting advice though, so he will flounder around until he take the necessary steps to learn the skills he doesn’t have. There are lots of places and ways he can learn them, if he wants.
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  #14  
Old 10-21-2019, 02:45 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillbreathing View Post
If she’s only 3, can’t you physically pick her up and put her in his car? Or grab her doll or stuffy and pretend it is kicking and screaming and you’re telling the doll to stop that, pretend it hit you in the face or the stomach and double over, ask your kid to help you get the doll in the car? Kids often love that kind of thing and it distracts them from their own bad mood. Or use reverse psychology and tell the doll not to put you in the car and pretend it’s pulling you to the car.
this made me laugh- but also cringe...it's kinda graphic? lol. I see what you're saying though.

If I was there- I would've strapped her in the car- even if she was crying. But according to my mom and ex- she was not only kicking and screaming- but also hyperventilating- which is not something she normally does. If she does it again- I'll leave and go home to take care of it. But I don't expect my mom (or any childcare provider to physically force her to go somewhere).

The other thing that terrifies me is that her dad doesn't do well with stressful situations. Last week- every time I've gone to pick her up from his place- he's already waiting in the lobby with her- and fairly tosses her into my arms. So if he doesn't want to take her because of her moods- while it sucks for her- I'm not about to force the situation....

also- wtf is happening to my 3 year old???
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Old 10-21-2019, 02:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcdreamy View Post
I would have patted her on her ass, settled her into her car seat and sent her on her way. Screaming all the way, looks like. How many more exchanges before she figures out her screaming doesn't work in enabling committed parenting? You keep the exchanging.
She didn't want to go on friday or saturday this week- obviously I still took her. Gave her a quick kiss and left. She's going through a bit of separation anxiety of late.
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  #16  
Old 10-29-2019, 06:56 AM
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Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
She didn't want to go on friday or saturday this week- obviously I still took her. Gave her a quick kiss and left. She's going through a bit of separation anxiety of late.
Exchanges should be like pulling off a bandaid. Quick and fast. There are way too many dramatic exchanges where parents peacock around to make kids cry. Go to any McDonalds on a Friday after school and watch the show. It is amazing how selfish some parents can be at exchanges. Then they try to usse the information of the children crying at exchanges as "evidence". Every judge has heard this nonsense.
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