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  • #16
    There is a big difference between a reality check and rudeness.

    An insult doesn't have to be delivered in a back-handed fashion to a newbie who's world is crashing in around them.

    A caring wake-up call (slap?) will convey the message better that a flippant remark that does nothing to help the situation (and usually drives the insulted to further response defensitively - a person who already feels under attack).

    Remarks that involve hindsight are particularity not helpful.

    IMHO

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    • #17
      What are you getting at there?

      For the most part first-time posters are usually asked for clarification over their situation or are handed a gentle reality check if needed. It is often their personal reaction to advice given that determines the further posts. If they are defensive and respond rudely, then it is possible they may not like what they read after that, but if they can sit back and think about what someone else has written, I think most posters get to see things a little differently.

      I'm not judging the new posters, we've all been there, and it often is a huge blow to find out what you thought is not what really is. But Piggy, your implication that new posters are going to be judged and treated like garbage is simply NOT TRUE. If it was, I would have to question why you are still posting.

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      • #18
        I do think that this board serves a very good purpose of being a non-lawyer sounding board for thoughts, views, and advice.

        All I'm saying is that some new posters are going to be in some very big denial about the situation they find themselves in and it will take more than a post or two to have them see reality.

        I was not implying that all new posters are treated like garbage, only that some responses from some members, even with good advice, lack a certain amount of compassion and tact.

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        • #19
          You don't say. To whom could you possibly be referring???

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          • #20
            And are apparently proud of it.

            Go figure.

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            • #21
              I stand by my take.

              Not proud, just disagree. Well, maybe a little proud, but not of conflict.

              Merry Christmas.

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              • #22
                All I said was 'welcome' .

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                • #23
                  It was the way you said it.

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                  • #24
                    DTTE is blunt to the point of coming across as rude to the "more sensitive" among us.

                    However, if you can get over the butt hurt, he's correct WAY more often than he's not.

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                    • #25
                      I will admit that after my first few posts I had more than a little sniffle. It hurt to get that kind of reality check. But there was nothing rude about anyone's response, it had everything to do with me not being able to see things from the other side. Some of those "rude" posters were the ones that gave me that reality check and it was the best thing for me.

                      If you think posters are being unnecessarily harsh, you can report them to the admins. But I urge everyone to try to read responses objectively, and try to understand the advice they are being given. Nobody really wants to be here and I think we are all here to help others as much as ourselves (sometimes more).

                      If that harsh reality check helps you to avoid being ripped apart by a judge, spending thousands unneccessarily on lawyers and court costs, it's worth a little wounded pride. Remember, none of us are perfect.

                      Merry Christmas!
                      Last edited by billiechic; 12-17-2010, 09:51 AM. Reason: stupid "i" is sticking

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by piggybanktoex View Post
                        It was the way you said it.
                        Seriously...wtf?

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                        • #27
                          You're kidding...right?

                          It's called "dry" humour. A mild jab, with no pain or real insult, and completely out of the blue. It is supposed to confuse you, in an innocent way.

                          ....sheesh....

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                          • #28
                            stop yelling at me!!!

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                            • #29
                              Exactly, good one!

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                                stop yelling at me!!!

                                Now blink, I thought you told those little voices to stop.....

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