sending pictures

[sahibjee]

our ex has only skype access which she very irregularly executes, mostly our autistic kiddo is just waiting on skype and leaves disappointed. she requested her access to be reduced to once a week for 45 minutes to which i complied. (generally my parents facilitate the access as i just want to keep away from her even on skype)

then out of the blue i get this email (she does send a shitty message like this at least every other week to which i usually dont reply)

"I never see (our son) wearing the clothes i sent him in parcel from (backhome) and whenever i ask about the gifts he replies,"but i don't have it". you confirmed that the parcel was picked up. he has no idea about the stationary i sent. i had sent him torch ball point, whistle pencil and car shaped sharpener. why didn't you hand over (our son)'s all gifts to him? i am concerned if his gifts have been kept for your other relatives??? for God's sake kindly give (our son) the gifts i had sent.also send me his pictures in those clothes."

she knows full well that our autistic son says "i dont have it" any time he dosnt want to talk about something. the gifts were given to him and she was informed.

the court order does not dictate anything about the pictures, I felt the email was very disrespectful and told her that I will consider sending her a few pictures if she decides to apologize for such an out of place email.
so my question is, is there an inherent obligation for me to take special pictures to send to a parent who does not even execute her regular access and is so disrespectful?

[MommyTime]

Yes. Send her the photos, presumably of your son with the items in question she sent?

Of course she would not know that "I don't have it" means he doesn't want to talk about something. 45 minutes / week access will not provide her with this type of ongoing intimate experience.

Whether she executes her regular access and then sends emails because she is not involved with the child is irrelevant. Protect yourself and document as needs arise.

[dinkyface]

You don't have to but of course you must know (except that all your troubles have skewed you sense of this) it would be nice. If it would be nice for some other friend then it would be nice for his mother. Perhaps also your kid could write or at least put their name on a thank you note?

[standing on the sidelines]

when it comes down to it, would a picture really hurt anything? I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Heck you can even have him on Skype wearing the clothes.

The letter wasn't disrespectful, she is just asking where his gifts are as he said he didn't have them.

[sahibjee]

Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines

The letter wasn't disrespectful, she is just asking where his gifts are as he said he didn't have them.

i did feel that it was disrespectful to suspect me of keeping crappy gifts for my "other relatives" specially when she knows for certain that I have no other relatives whom i can give those things to; and that is after she already stole clothing off our son's body that i had bought for him to give to her nephews (same age as our son). and to say for God's sake give him the gifts was also impolite. and then she asks for a favor.
these kind of letters become very annoying if you are receiving them frequently and without due cause.

here is how i would have written the letter if i were in her shoes.

"Hi There.
During my access i have asked our son a few times about the gifts i have sent him. he thinks he does not have them. it is possible that he has gotten tired of them and forgot all about them, would you be so kind to reintroduce those gifts to him and remind him that mommy sent these gifts? additionally i would really appreciate if you could send me a few pictures with him in the clothing i sent, i would like to see how the cloths fit on him.

Thanks."

[dinkyface]

So you have your answer then.