Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #11  
Old 07-07-2014, 05:17 PM
The Iceberg The Iceberg is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 297
The Iceberg is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I'd have some fun with this.

Put up a whole bunch of religious artifacts on the wall (not of your own religion but that of a really far-out, strange one). Or you could buy a bunch of those cheapo black frames at the dollar store and frame pictures of beautiful women you cut out of a magazine.
LMAO...And perform some weird exercise on the back
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 07-07-2014, 06:31 PM
MommyTime MommyTime is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 155
MommyTime is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sahibjee View Post
here is the situation,
I got custody, ex ditched our son for several months with no contact, then she asked for skype access which I agreed to.

every time over skype; she asks our son to turn the camera around and show her something in the home, I know her nature, she is very nosy i feel my privacy is being violated, does she have the right to ask him to move the camera around? how do i address this?
If you knew she was nosy, why agree to something that could invade your privacy? If it makes you feel better, ask for the same in return during her access if she has any. I caution though, this would put your son in the middle. So don't.

Tell her the camera is broken and follow through with everyone one else your son is involved with through Skype. Again though, it's a suggestion that could put your son in the middle. So don't.

What else can be suggested? Nothing really. That door was opened by your agreement so until your Skype camera does indeed break, there's nothing you can do that won't compromise your son.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 07-07-2014, 07:56 PM
Stacy'sMom Stacy'sMom is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 92
Stacy'sMom is on a distinguished road
Default

Pick your battles. This is only a big deal if you make it one.


I would suggest that you make these skype convo's an EVENT for your child; almost like a web show he gets to do with his mom- encouraging these calls, supportively, by making them something special and unique!

ie
  1. Set up a special place where all the mommy calls shall take place, and let him know that this place is like his special stage for his 'show and tell' with mom during their calls (decorate the area if you like- It's meant to be fun so go nuts with it!)
  2. Make sure everything he'll need for each of his 'shows' is already in the room/area prior to the calls to mom being made.
  3. To ensure that things are always ready, tell him prior to each call that "it's almost Mommy time" and then he'll know that it's at that time you and he can enjoy the fun and excitement of the preparation process (and it is fun)
  4. Let him prepare for the call by finding all of the little trinkets and projects he wants to show his mom- he will enjoy this I'm sure
  5. During the call, give him as much privacy and space as you can, to ensure that this special time with his mom (and his 'show') is 100% theirs to enjoy, and not interrupted by other things playing/happening in the background.
  6. If you need to be present, be there supportively and watch him enjoy the putting on the 'show and tell' of cool stuff he's created for mom- which at 4 years old he will likely LOVE!
  7. If your X mentions something which has not been prepared for the call, have her wait (politely) while both you and your son, get that ready for her to see online.

I guarantee if you do it this way (make each call a special event) there will likely be less invasion of your privacy (because everything is ready for mom prior to the call), your son will be all the more excited for these calls (because he'll be ready to show mom something cool each time she calls), and doing things like this shows him that you value the time he spends with his mother and that you want to help him in making that time with her as special as possible.


A few additional tips:
- Keep your actions on camera, or in the background as minimal as possible.
- Keep your tone, one of enthusiasm for your son's project (web shows for mom) and help him to put on the best show he can; never bare a tone of annoyance or upset with the mother.
- Encourage your boy to make new neat things to show mom during their next call; that will make sure there's always something to share and not too much time to 'investigate' (the mother investigating the house and other) during the duration of these calls.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 07-09-2014, 01:15 PM
sahibjee sahibjee is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 545
sahibjee is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
Do you have a room in your house where there are little items? If you have a lap top, can you set it up in your sons room and do the skype calls in there? That way she can only see what is in his room.

I can understand where you are coming from, my step children often facetime with their Mom, they walk around the house while doing it, showing her the dogs or cats or their rooms or painting they made, but the whole time she basically gets a digital tour of our house. We just go about our normal business.
he dosnt have his own room for the same fear that he may hurt himself, also he gets scared at night, still wets his bed some times. so still sleeping in my room ... time to transition though

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
Fo to the library. They have excellent WIFI and nice quiet places. That is where daughter often goes for skype chats with Dad.
thats a good suggestion, I will try to get off work early on his mom's access days, for now i barely get off work in time to pick him up and start the access.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
lol @ Arabian!

I work with with autistic children.

Perhaps you could use visuals (first, then, then) -- you'll know what mean, with his reinforcer waiting at the end. What do you mean he can harm himself? Something like "Pica syndrome" or self-injurious behavior (head banging?) Perhaps your ex can use his personal interests to keep him occupied. (Superman/SpongeBob pics while talking, etc).

Like the others I wouldn't worry too much about it.
no self-injurious behavior, but he can try to climb and jump off tables, try poke himself with a pen and such if left alone, thats why i am always besides him

Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyTime View Post
If you knew she was nosy, why agree to something that could invade your privacy? If it makes you feel better, ask for the same in return during her access if she has any. I caution though, this would put your son in the middle. So don't.

Tell her the camera is broken and follow through with everyone one else your son is involved with through Skype. Again though, it's a suggestion that could put your son in the middle. So don't.

What else can be suggested? Nothing really. That door was opened by your agreement so until your Skype camera does indeed break, there's nothing you can do that won't compromise your son.
she exercises no physical access, only skype, i wouldnt want to take that away from him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacy'sMom View Post
Pick your battles. This is only a big deal if you make it one.


I would suggest that you make these skype convo's an EVENT for your child; almost like a web show he gets to do with his mom- encouraging these calls, supportively, by making them something special and unique!

ie
  1. Set up a special place where all the mommy calls shall take place, and let him know that this place is like his special stage for his 'show and tell' with mom during their calls (decorate the area if you like- It's meant to be fun so go nuts with it!)
  2. Make sure everything he'll need for each of his 'shows' is already in the room/area prior to the calls to mom being made.
  3. To ensure that things are always ready, tell him prior to each call that "it's almost Mommy time" and then he'll know that it's at that time you and he can enjoy the fun and excitement of the preparation process (and it is fun)
  4. Let him prepare for the call by finding all of the little trinkets and projects he wants to show his mom- he will enjoy this I'm sure
  5. During the call, give him as much privacy and space as you can, to ensure that this special time with his mom (and his 'show') is 100% theirs to enjoy, and not interrupted by other things playing/happening in the background.
  6. If you need to be present, be there supportively and watch him enjoy the putting on the 'show and tell' of cool stuff he's created for mom- which at 4 years old he will likely LOVE!
  7. If your X mentions something which has not been prepared for the call, have her wait (politely) while both you and your son, get that ready for her to see online.

I guarantee if you do it this way (make each call a special event) there will likely be less invasion of your privacy (because everything is ready for mom prior to the call), your son will be all the more excited for these calls (because he'll be ready to show mom something cool each time she calls), and doing things like this shows him that you value the time he spends with his mother and that you want to help him in making that time with her as special as possible.


A few additional tips:
- Keep your actions on camera, or in the background as minimal as possible.
- Keep your tone, one of enthusiasm for your son's project (web shows for mom) and help him to put on the best show he can; never bare a tone of annoyance or upset with the mother.
- Encourage your boy to make new neat things to show mom during their next call; that will make sure there's always something to share and not too much time to 'investigate' (the mother investigating the house and other) during the duration of these calls.
thats a GREAT idea, may be once i transition him into his own room then this could be setup for him.

thanks for all the input everyone .. much appreciated
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
access, camera, privacy, privacy vs access, skype


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Grandparents' rights over dad's Nationcaps Divorce & Family Law 28 11-01-2011 12:04 PM
child alienation---please your help brokendad Parenting Issues 16 07-03-2011 12:57 AM
Editing, reviewing and inclusion help needed. Duped Divorce & Family Law 10 05-29-2011 11:38 PM
Co-parenting ----post divorce bearall Parenting Issues 14 05-25-2010 12:14 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:04 AM.