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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #21  
Old 04-14-2014, 04:27 PM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
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You are frantic to see your daughter (understandably) .... however your best tactics will focus on the longer term. You can be sure that she will use your short-term anxiety to blackmail you into signing a long-term arrangement that limits your involvement. You *will* be your own worst enemy if you focus on short-term.... inhuman cool and patience and persistence is required.
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  #22  
Old 04-14-2014, 05:02 PM
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on false accusations.....deny, deny deny....ignore it.... and don't ever defend it in writing....example of letter...Honey I admit I have a drinking problem and I'm working on being a better man ..Don't add fuel to the fire
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  #23  
Old 04-14-2014, 06:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
Isn't this exactly what emergency motions are for?
I was told no by basically everyone. The child has to be in imminent danger. Judges rarely give them befire cc's. What they do is annoy judges because they have to push back other cases. My daughters been denied her rights to see me and is for sure emotionally distraught. Like I said, I was her number one. Her hero. I'm afraid shes being brainwashed, I'm afraid of the status quo and I'm afraid of losing the powerful father/daughter bond. A lot more as well. Unfortunatly somehow none of these meet the criteria for an emergency motion. Its funny how they dontbtske he emotional effect of "forced separation" by one patent into account for such a motion. I'm trying to play my cards right and pissing off a judge doesnt sound like a good idea. Am I afraid of her physical safety or that physical harm is being done? Not really. Its the emotional ramifications that are so bothersome. Trust me...I went for an emergency motion...FLIC said probably not a good idea.
.
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  #24  
Old 04-15-2014, 08:05 AM
Franklin Franklin is offline
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You are letting others persuade you, discouraging you from a emergency motion, why is your daughter not worth that? Anyway you know what your gut feelings are but it is incredibly important to be selfish in protecting the rights of your daughter. That is the theme that will guide you to come to the best solution. Again in family court Judges Just want some kind of agreement to be sighned and off you go.

I went through a Restraining order and supervised access, the complete ringer. I cleaned up in the court room in the end. I won but we all lost.
My only regret was the fact I did know how much power I had and somewhat succomed to the pressure.

Be reasonable but do not be afraid of the Judge or any body else. Remember to start every argument and comment MY DAUGHTER IS ENTITLED to this and that . Once in the court room I posed a question for every one in that court room to feel free to answer including the Judge.
There was silence. I made my point banked some more respect and moved on

I feel you know what you need to do so the only lesson for you to learn now is to be ferocious within the selfish attitude for protection of the entitlement of a child , your child.
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  #25  
Old 04-15-2014, 08:15 PM
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I will be going for an EM to try and prevent this emotional trauma on my daughter, my family and I from continuing.

This is the procedure correct?
So I will file my 14/14A and ask family court counter what court dates are available. I have to serve the other party papers 4 days prior to court date. They will reply with the "violence, alcohol, drugs and whatever imaginative things she can conjure up" in a reply. I reply to her reply in a response affidavit. I file my 14C confirmation 2 days prior before 2:00pm. I show up on court date telling judge why the law says I should have custody of my daughter and why it can not wait until the CC. I speak for roughly 20mins, her lawyer speaks horror stories for another 20 mins. I reply to those new facts referring to specific points/facts. Judge renders a decision there.

My daughter was abducted and ripped away form everything she knew. My mother and grandparents even saw her close to every weekend. SO its not just me. My daughter was torn away from her whole extended family. Nobody can sleep, not even my daughter Im sure. She left all her favorite toys, is not well financially and has been suffering bouts of depression (which I assume would be hard to prove). So I'll talk about "Abduction", "Emotional Abuse to child", "Parental alienation and the psychological ramifications". There are some great minds in this forum. How should I word it to the judge. How to I stop this madness and get my baby girl back before status quo increases, brainwashing persists, etc. Please help.
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  #26  
Old 04-15-2014, 10:35 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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My ex got an exclusive possession order and i was seeing my kids 15hrs/week for about a year.

I got a psychosocial evaluation that recommended shared custody - no concerns whatsoever.

When I got to court roughly 14 months after the initial ambush the judge told my lawyer I should have filed an emergency motion - after I got the psychosocial evaluation I told my lawyer, practically begged him to file one and he didn't it ended up "costing" me as I didn't get shared custody and instead fo 39% custody which is great in someways but expensive.

So better file than not.

Also, tone it down - just say you would like more access or shared custody pending the trial. There are no risks or problems with you and you can take care of all her needs. You need to read the judge, go into detail if he allows etc.... Don't act like a frantic desperate person, a confident, calm, slightly distressed person, you have to be composed in court.
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  #27  
Old 04-16-2014, 10:44 AM
drainedbysystem drainedbysystem is offline
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I am very sorry for your ordeal. Being the victim of false allegations must be extremely difficult for you and your child.

I speak for myself only. I am a survivor of domestic violence. I had pages of prior occurence reports. However I never used them against the other parent to block any kind of access.

What I am trying to tell you is that no matter what happened between yourself and your ex it is irrellevant to access. Every child deserves to have both parents in their lives. Period.

The holes in the walls dont matter to the judge. I was fortunate to negotiate a settlement out of court in the midst of litigation. I want to reassure you that you will be able to see your child. Get the ball rolling and file an emergency motion. Good luck.
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  #28  
Old 04-16-2014, 11:35 AM
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A motion isn't a Trial...A motion is a he said/she said filed into the Court and you only say anything when a Judge asks you something, I haven't done an emergency motion and all I can assume is you want the Court to make a Temporary Order or Interium Order when you are there.
Remember a Judge is kind of like a news reporter all they want to know is WHO, WHAT, WHERE and WHY and those questions must be based on FACT (which isn't going to be the case at a motion) then they can make a decision. If you and ex start slinging mud at each other...what is a Judge going to do? yup maintian the status quo and your going to be one ticked of dude...times 1000
Your primary objective is the child...you still live in the stable matrimonial house/apartment with close family (bring some to Court). You want to mediate any other issues your ex may have after the motion...provide a workable access schedule and you'll pick up/drop off the child. Supplying a Judge with a criminal record check makes it easier for the Judge to make a decision. Somewhere a no move directive has to be made on your EX...womens shelters are not stable enviroments for kids they are temporay housing.
If your ex also smartens up (she'll be trained at the shelter) and "will" come in saying she has some concerns about you....and has E-mails asking you to pick up your child or called you about it (it ain't a Trial she can say whatever ever she likes) the judge may slam you for wasting the Courts time and award costs for the day to your ex. (I speak from experience ..paying court costs of 1000 bucks fighting to see my kid(s), I wasn't prepared for Court (darn Forms) and was all fire and vinegar about my rights to see the kids which she was denying access just after separation.... and SPLAT)
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  #29  
Old 04-16-2014, 12:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrToronto View Post
A motion isn't a Trial...A motion is a he said/she said filed into the Court and you only say anything when a Judge asks you something, I haven't done an emergency motion and all I can assume is you want the Court to make a Temporary Order or Interium Order when you are there.
Remember a Judge is kind of like a news reporter all they want to know is WHO, WHAT, WHERE and WHY and those questions must be based on FACT (which isn't going to be the case at a motion) then they can make a decision. If you and ex start slinging mud at each other...what is a Judge going to do? yup maintian the status quo and your going to be one ticked of dude...times 1000
Your primary objective is the child...you still live in the stable matrimonial house/apartment with close family (bring some to Court). You want to mediate any other issues your ex may have after the motion...provide a workable access schedule and you'll pick up/drop off the child. Supplying a Judge with a criminal record check makes it easier for the Judge to make a decision. Somewhere a no move directive has to be made on your EX...womens shelters are not stable enviroments for kids they are temporay housing.
If your ex also smartens up (she'll be trained at the shelter) and "will" come in saying she has some concerns about you....and has E-mails asking you to pick up your child or called you about it (it ain't a Trial she can say whatever ever she likes) the judge may slam you for wasting the Courts time and award costs for the day to your ex. (I speak from experience ..paying court costs of 1000 bucks fighting to see my kid(s), I wasn't prepared for Court (darn Forms) and was all fire and vinegar about my rights to see the kids which she was denying access just after separation.... and SPLAT)
Yikes. That's what scares me. I simply can't afford to pay her costs for an EM. I work in the special needs field, for delayed children and adults and have a clean "vulnerable sector" check done regularly. I can provide notes from parents of special needs students, whom I was left alone with daily. My spouse and I had our difficulties in the relationship although nothing shes saying. This doesnt affect my parenting abilities. I was also the head therapist of an autistic preschool and am currently an educational assistant for the schoolboard. This is why my daughter can read almost full lenth infant books, knows her abc's, can count unusually high, has excellent fine motor/gross motor skills and has exceptional social skills. I spent every waking second teaching her. With mother = tv and pajamas all day. I literally had to get her out for fresh air as soon as I got home from work.
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  #30  
Old 04-16-2014, 12:56 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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-The clean check is good
-Drop the teaching your kid to read stuff - the judge doesn't care if you are superdad as long as you are a good dad
-If i were you don't mention legalese terms; don't say status quo and stuff like that.
-Just say you have a stable environment, no proven charges against you and you'd like your child to continue living with you at least half the time in their home.
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