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  • #16
    Congratulations Pursuinghappiness!

    I had a similar moment a coupe of weekends ago when I was sorting through the contents of my storage unit in preparation for clearing it out completely. I found boxes of old correspondence (remember how people used to write letters, not emails?) going back 25 years, including piles and piles of letters from the ex, back when we were "soulmates". I thought about whether I wanted to keep them and "nah, that's all water under the bridge". So all of his letters went into the recycling bin, while I kept letters from everyone else. I thought I might get a bit emotional about getting rid of all this history, but actually felt almost nothing at all, except for a little vague sadness that it ended up so badly.

    Then went home and weeded out all the no-longer-necessary material from my divorce files. More into the recycling bin.

    So there are very few traces of the ex or the marriage left on paper anywhere ... It's another step forward.

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    • #17
      My "files" are now reduced at home to 4 large plastic bins. My lawyer's office would have at least the same amount of bulk or more. I have had to refer to the material on occasion. My files are mingled with business records. Things that seemed so important 5 years ago now only evoke a laugh from me (letters and emails sent to me from ex's g/f as well as love letters which employees discovered and turned over to me). I really don't have the inclination to go through it all. Perhaps someday.

      I know someday soon I hope to find a place to have a large bonfire. This is certainly something to look forward to.

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      • #18
        Summer or 2012, I had a good time BBQ'ing the wedding photos. I only kept the video as there are ppl who have passed away in my family and it's all I have to remember them by.

        It does feel good to "symbolically" get rid of the past especially after more than a quarter of a century (gulp) of accumulated junk!

        I did keep the most precious product of our marriage ... my son lol!

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        • #19
          Since we settled before court, mostly I just have a few dozen e-mails and draft agreements. I still browse them occasionally wondering at how life turned out. My ex left the wedding album when she left and I still have it, although it is increasingly like looking at someone else's life.

          Strangely, I still kept my ex's stuffed animal from when she was a child. It reminds me of what a different person she once was. Some day I'll pass it onto my son I suppose.

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          • #20
            My mother kept two files boxes of all court filings from my parents' divorce for years. When I turned 25 I took them to work and dumped them in the shredder box. It was a big relief to us kids but my mother was angry I did it as she wanted to keep a "reminder of how horrible your father is". Then she wondered why we all needed therapy and stopped putting up with her continuing to hold on to the anger. Letting go is good!

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