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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 09-07-2011, 11:25 AM
fireweb13 fireweb13 is offline
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Default New court order

Ok so Aug 31st my ex and I signed a final court order.
Court order being that
I have our daughter every other weekend
Plus holiday access and other stuff that is unimportant to this question

So I specifically put in a claus that since we alternate long weekends the that the next weekend would go to the other parent so that neither of us end up with multiple weekends in a row.

So my ex had labour day weekend which was the first weekend after aug 31st.
I just received an email from my ex stating that the new access will start on September 16th. So this would mean that my ex had our daughter for labour day, and then the next weekend as well with me going 2 weekends in a row without her. I asked my ex in a non confrontational way why this was, and told her about family coming in from England and this would be the only time they get to see our daughter. She said that with the new court order we are starting from scratch and that I am to pick her up Sept 16th and that she is not going to go back and forth about the subject and she is not going to respond anymore. So I emailed her lawyer about it and explained the situation. Any suggestions?
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Old 09-07-2011, 11:45 AM
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NBDad NBDad is offline
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August 31 was the middle of the week. When did you next have your daughter?

The weekend of the 3rd or the 10th?
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Old 09-07-2011, 11:54 AM
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Aug 31st was a Wednesday. So my ex had her the weekend of the 3rd which was Labour day. Now she is saying that SHE also gets Sept 10th weekend as well. Not sure what her reasoning is as even if it was our old court order I would have our daughter the weekend of the 10th. I want to be able to work together and have the flexibility to change weekends in the future with her but this is really no notice for this, and I have family flying in from England so its a bad weekend for changing things on my part as they have never seen our daughter.
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Old 09-07-2011, 11:55 AM
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Shes a self centered controlling bitch that thinks it is her child not the both of yours (it seems). Here refusing to allow the child to see relatives shows very poorly for her.

At least you're done with her - be happy!

Hard to deal with someone that thinks they get to decide these things, but at the least, it should not happen that often as you now have an agreement and hopefully she will get used to it. Not much you can do if she refuses as fighting it would probably not be worth it.
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Old 09-07-2011, 12:00 PM
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"...I specifically put in a claus..." Neither party can change a court order, or the wording of a court order. The parties are signing is that they agree that this is what the Judge ordered. But it can't be changed.
The court order is effective from the day the Judge orders it, before all the paperwork is filed in court.
So, as I understand it, your daughter was with her mother for Labour Day weekend (Sept 3->5, which normally would have been your weekend?), and now the access schedule changes after each long weekend, so it is now (Sept. 10->11) your weekend coming up, whereas before it would have been her weekend?
It's not fair of the mother to deprive your daughter of meeting overseas relatives -- my ex did that to our kids a lot and took the callous attitude that they're too young to remember them anyway. It probably hurt me and adult relatives more than it hurt the kids, being denied the chance to meet each other -- but still....
Can't she agree to let her meet her paternal overseas relatives for some of the weekend? After all, they and your daughter have done nothing to be denied the pleasure of meeting each other? It's the child's best interests to meet relatives who are visiting from far away over regular access schedules.
By what you wrote, it's no longer "her" weekend, but if you pick-up from her house and she refuses to let daughter go, ... sigh.... it looks bad on her for sure.

Last edited by Epona; 09-07-2011 at 12:04 PM.
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Old 09-07-2011, 12:07 PM
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Before this court order we had a mess of a court order. I was not an every other weekend dad lol, I was a 3 weekends 1 month, and 2 weekends plus wednesdays the next month on a rotation. So this was a huge change for us yet again. So we would start fresh with her having the first weekend. In the past because we alternated long weekends what ended up happening is that if it was supposed to be my access weekend before the long weekend and it was also my scheduled long weekend I would have our daughter 3 weekends in a row, this would go both ways and it really was not good for our daughter. Because my ex would not agree to scrap the long weekend alternating for the civic, family,may 24 and labour day I put in a clause that if either 1 of us has our daughter the weekend before the long weekend, and the long weekend that the weekend after would automatically fall to the other parent to avoid 3 weekends in a row to any of us. But if she wanted to start with her having labour day then the next should fall to me I thought. My ex is upset that she has to give me summer access and other things so she is trying to control anything possible. I hope her lawyer talks to her but I doubt he will
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Old 09-07-2011, 02:55 PM
anotherSTEPmother anotherSTEPmother is offline
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This would be the best bet. I would send a polite but to the point email stating...

According to the court order dated August 31, 2011 our access arrangements are, "Insert exact wording". As you exercised access the weekend of September 3, 2011, I will be exercising my first access based on the new order on September 10, 2011.

The court order indicates that no parent shall have the child two weekends in a row (fix wording).

I will arrive at your address (include address) at (time) on (date) to exercise my access this weekend.

Thank you,

Name

Then I would copy her lawyer, bring a copy of the court order and the email with you. If she does not supply your child call the police as witness to the situation. Have them try to reason with her... if she still does not produce the child then leave (do not have the police forcibly remove your child as this is not in their best interests) and do a motion to enforce the order.
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Old 09-07-2011, 02:58 PM
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So my ex and I rotate long weekends. I thought that we should just keep the every other weekend thing and when it fell on a long weekend that is not Thanksgiving or christmas, that we should just extend the long weekend to accomodate it. Thanksgiving and Easter should rotate because those are more important then regular long weekends.
So our order states that we alternate long weekends, so if my ex has our daughter labour day 2011 then I have her labour day 2012 regardless of our EOW schedule. So our status quo up until now has been that we have rotated long weekends and it often ends up with 1 of us having 3 weekends in a row. For example. weekend before long weekend falls to me, then long weekend is mine through the rotation, then the weekend after falls to me as it keeps the "normal" rotation. I know it sucks and it means that both of us end up with 3 weekends in a row which is hard on our daughter. We have always kept it that if your long weekend time falls during your normal weekend that it just extends the time but we keep normal rotation.
Now they are saying that the long weekend completely overrides everything, so even though labour day was normally on her EOW rotation for a long weekend, and it falls to her for the long weekend rotation that she gets the next weekend because labour day was a long weekend so it overrode her regular EOW time. We have never gone by this on our status quo for 4 years even though our most recent court order is only a few days old. I put in the clause that if you have the weekend before the long weekend, and the long weekend then you are not to have the weekend after. I really am at a loss and confused. My ex will not back down, and this also means that I have 2 weekends at Thanksgiving which is nice, but isn't it better for our daughter to have a F$%# schedule so she knows that EOW she is with Dad?
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Old 09-07-2011, 03:04 PM
anotherSTEPmother anotherSTEPmother is offline
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If you have a new order the status quo means nothing. If you continue with your old status quo you will eliminate your new order with the status quo. Send you intentions, and show up. Do everything you can, bring a witness (family member or something) and just do it, if she violates the new order then she is withholding access.
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