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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 06-03-2021, 01:29 PM
DantebeaR DantebeaR is offline
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Default Ex seeking 50/50

So I recently filed paperwork to take my ex back to court because he is failing to pay the proper amount of child support (they are paying based on $60,000 when they made $171,000 last year). I am also trying to increase mobility as the current radius is extremely small and prevents me from basically moving anywhere.

I am now being told that my ex will be seeking 50/50 of our 9yo. I know 100% that my ex is looking for 50/50 to have a reduction in child support but I can’t prove that. What I do have is;

1. Multiple text messages of him saying he doesn’t want 50/50

2. Me offering him an extra weekend every month and him declining.

He has;

1. Never had 50/50. At most he had 30/70

2. In 2019 he gave me sole custody for a reduction in arrears

3. He doesn’t live in the same city as our Son and has plans to move to a different city even further.

4. Our Son has stated he doesn’t want to go there period let alone 50/50

I ended up calling CAS on him because my Son was to scared to goto his place because of his anger issues and the claims that he was abusing his dog. When CAS talked to us, apparently my Son stated he didn’t want to live there and rated our house a 10 and his house a 0.

What chances does he realistically have in getting 50/50?

I’m glad to answer anymore questions you have to get a proper answer for this.
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  #2  
Old 06-03-2021, 04:07 PM
arbortrail22 arbortrail22 is offline
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This is just from our experience:

You file asking for the kitchen sink... doesn't mean you will get it.

3. He doesn’t live in the same city as our Son and has plans to move to a different city even further.

If there is no realistic plan to get to school - it wont happen. I haven't seen cases of weekends awarded in a 50/50 split by the court.
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Old 06-03-2021, 04:48 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Normally the response includes everything under the sun so its expected. If the ex isnt within a certain distance of kids school then the argument is moot.
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Old 06-03-2021, 05:05 PM
DantebeaR DantebeaR is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Normally the response includes everything under the sun so its expected. If the ex isn�t within a certain distance of kids school then the argument is moot.
At minimum he is 20 mins away with zero traffic. Where is he looking to move it will be more like 30-35 mins so it’s not super far.
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Old 06-04-2021, 01:37 PM
cranberry cranberry is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DantebeaR View Post
At minimum he is 20 mins away with zero traffic. Where is he looking to move it will be more like 30-35 mins so it’s not super far.
My ex lives 45 mins away on a good traffic day. Too many late arrivals at school to count. Virtual school has helped in that regard. I personally don't like it but that's for me to deal with. Your ex's distance may not be an issue.
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Old 06-04-2021, 02:51 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DantebeaR View Post
I know 100% that my ex is looking for 50/50 to have a reduction in child support
Why are you against 50/50?
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Old 06-04-2021, 05:42 PM
LMum LMum is offline
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I'm in the middle of almost an exact same situation. Its been 7 month of legal bills (~20000) so far and we still don't have an resolution. OCL has just finished our interviews with the disclosure meeting in a few weeks,

I have all the same arguments, son doesn't want to be there. Dad has behaved very poorly etc. Sounds like he plans to have you served maybe? If you haven't already starting logging stuff like access, start now. Also keep a journal. Cause you will forget stuff. I wish you luck.
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Old 06-05-2021, 10:00 AM
arbortrail22 arbortrail22 is offline
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Who is the “they” in your comment about income ? Are you including 2 salaries ?
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Old 06-05-2021, 10:03 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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"They" is an acceptable pronoun for third person singular.

Sole custody on consent is almost impossible to reverse, especially since it was so recent.

The pleading for 50/50 is a bluff and I wouldn't worry about it, judges see it all the time when child support requests go before the Court and suddenly the absent parent just looooooves their child so much they neeeeeed to have them 50% of the time. It is just a bargaining tactic.

Canada does not have a presumption of shared custody and it is all based on what is in the best interest of the child. That being said, since you are in active litigation he will probably ask for more time beyond the court order, if you acquiesce you are setting up a new status quo. I wouldn't refuse ALL requests for more time, but I would limit them when unreasonable as you and I both know this is just a tactic and not something he would sustain after getting CS reduced. That kind of yo-you parenting is not in your child's best interest. Try to avoid getting CAS involved as they often harm more then they help, but get yourself a therapist, and, if your children requests its a therapist for your child to help them process the conflict that is going to be stirred up.
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Old 06-06-2021, 02:04 PM
cranberry cranberry is offline
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Tilt -- I had sole custody, awarded at birth, to be reviewed when they turned five. I had no problem switching to 50-50 at that time. But, ex is high conflict and dicked around with my offers. He asked for, and was granted a private parenting assessment in his first attempt to permanently remove them from my care. That didn't work; shared custody recommended. He finally accepted 50-50 when our boys turned 10. He then started filling their heads with the "fact" that they can choose who to live with when they turn 12.

His lawyer contacted mine on Thursday. Phase 2 of attempting to remove them permanently is about to begin.

So much for doing the right thing when they turned 5.
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