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  • #31
    It would be nice if ss was only used for some retaining or to give a year or two to find employment. But this would only work if there was a specific cutoff date without any conditions... Whether they finish school, find employment, or not.

    Too many people will always try to take advantage of it and still drag it out.

    Start school, then decide they would prefer a different course.
    Show a couple emails they sent out, and claim no jobs are available.


    To be entitled to ss, they should have to show how not only they sacrificed their job, but also how the other parent benefited. They can take a year off each time a child is born, but the ministry of labor already says that year of mat leave still counts as time worked, keeping both parents' employment equal.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by oink View Post
      Yes ....in an ideal world I agree, but how will lawyers, judges and the govt make money then?

      Who pays the bills...like really, what are these people...teenagers?
      Legalize weed....lawyers and judges be so busy setting up the new law and tax laws and government will profit from the tax they place on it.

      Comment


      • #33
        **edited out personal info*
        Last edited by blinkandimgone; 11-04-2013, 12:08 AM.

        Comment


        • #34
          Interesting thread. As a recipient of SS I did indeed have to prove entitlement and need. Not difficult whatsoever after 30 yrs of marriage.

          There are many, many things that people do not take into consideration when attacking those of us who have been judicially awarded SS.

          My ex screwed me over BIG TIME through our business and left me accountable for all of the business debt while he went bankrupt. You might think "well why didn't she go bankrupt as well?" Simple. Bankruptcy laws and BIA will not allow it. Some big changes came down to bankruptcy laws over the past 5 yrs. One big one being - if you are a director in an incorporated business you cannot declare personal bankruptcy. I was screwed.

          It gets better.

          Family law takes priority over pretty much anything else.

          So the only way I could receive a dime from my ex was through SS.

          Before you go pissing on me, please know that I am a hard-working individual. I do not live an easy life. My ex has taken me to court over 6 times to try to have the divorce judgment overturned. I was successful each and every time. However, I have substantial legal bills.

          I am in my late 50's. I have lost all of my personal inheritance and life savings. My ex is living well. He successfully moved our money to places unknown.

          30 yrs of marriage. Had I known I certainly would have ended the marriage decades ago.

          This is a condensed version of my story by the way. I am sure there are others out there like me.

          I am all for women being independent. I was independent and I am still independent. I am simply trying to recoup some of my losses. I realize that my situation is likely impossible in some regards.

          I most certainly will continue to do everything within my power to collect any money that is due to me.

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by oink View Post
            Wow...am surprised, does that mean you condone it, and wouldn't have a problem with it if your daughter rolled up a big fat one?
            It means when shes a grown successful adult if she choses to smoke a joint, no. Who cares. Would I go light it for her...no. Theres a difference.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by arabian View Post
              Interesting thread. As a recipient of SS I did indeed have to prove entitlement and need. Not difficult whatsoever after 30 yrs of marriage.

              There are many, many things that people do not take into consideration when attacking those of us who have been judicially awarded SS.

              My ex screwed me over BIG TIME through our business and left me accountable for all of the business debt while he went bankrupt. You might think "well why didn't she go bankrupt as well?" Simple. Bankruptcy laws and BIA will not allow it. Some big changes came down to bankruptcy laws over the past 5 yrs. One big one being - if you are a director in an incorporated business you cannot declare personal bankruptcy. I was screwed.

              It gets better.

              Family law takes priority over pretty much anything else.

              So the only way I could receive a dime from my ex was through SS.

              Before you go pissing on me, please know that I am a hard-working individual. I do not live an easy life. My ex has taken me to court over 6 times to try to have the divorce judgment overturned. I was successful each and every time. However, I have substantial legal bills.

              I am in my late 50's. I have lost all of my personal inheritance and life savings. My ex is living well. He successfully moved our money to places unknown.

              30 yrs of marriage. Had I known I certainly would have ended the marriage decades ago.

              This is a condensed version of my story by the way. I am sure there are others out there like me.

              I am all for women being independent. I was independent and I am still independent. I am simply trying to recoup some of my losses. I realize that my situation is likely impossible in some regards.

              I most certainly will continue to do everything within my power to collect any money that is due to me.


              I agree, you do.

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by arabian View Post
                Interesting thread. As a recipient of SS I did indeed have to prove entitlement and need. Not difficult whatsoever after 30 yrs of marriage.

                There are many, many things that people do not take into consideration when attacking those of us who have been judicially awarded SS.

                My ex screwed me over BIG TIME through our business and left me accountable for all of the business debt while he went bankrupt. You might think "well why didn't she go bankrupt as well?" Simple. Bankruptcy laws and BIA will not allow it. Some big changes came down to bankruptcy laws over the past 5 yrs. One big one being - if you are a director in an incorporated business you cannot declare personal bankruptcy. I was screwed.

                It gets better.

                Family law takes priority over pretty much anything else.

                So the only way I could receive a dime from my ex was through SS.

                Before you go pissing on me, please know that I am a hard-working individual. I do not live an easy life. My ex has taken me to court over 6 times to try to have the divorce judgment overturned. I was successful each and every time. However, I have substantial legal bills.

                I am in my late 50's. I have lost all of my personal inheritance and life savings. My ex is living well. He successfully moved our money to places unknown.

                30 yrs of marriage. Had I known I certainly would have ended the marriage decades ago.

                This is a condensed version of my story by the way. I am sure there are others out there like me.

                I am all for women being independent. I was independent and I am still independent. I am simply trying to recoup some of my losses. I realize that my situation is likely impossible in some regards.

                I most certainly will continue to do everything within my power to collect any money that is due to me.
                Stories such as this are exactly the reason that spousal support needs to be looked at on a per case basis. Absolutely no way anyone could reasonably anticipate what you've gone through, and any suggestion otherwise is utter nonsense.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by oink View Post
                  Arabian's case is the only LEGIT one on here thus far, we've heard the story, and spoke offline about stuff....

                  Spousal Support in this particular case is valid...Period!

                  It's the other bandwagon folks that want it because they got dumped i.e. "the just because" crowd
                  Good to know, thanks!

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Marriage is one of the biggest business decisions one makes. I didn't realize it at the time. If I could do it over I would never have gone into business with my husband.

                    What you have to realize is that over time laws change. 35 yrs ago I was given legal advice: the best way to protect myself (should the marriage ever fail) was to be a full partner/director with my husband. I took this advice seriously. I didn't merely ride his coat-tails, I invested heavily in the business, backing it financially and working in it for many years. I took huge financial risk and, in the end, I lost.

                    My ex did many fraudulent things at the end of our marriage. I was quite surprised to find out that I had absolutely no protection under the business act simply because I was married to him. Imagine how horrified I was.

                    Now the only way I hope to get any money back is through family law/SS.

                    My credit has been damaged irreparably and I find myself having to start over. Instead of enjoying the fruits of one's labour, I am renting an apartment. I have the ultimate challenge ahead of me to simply survive and try to get to a financial position where I can plan something for my old age. The clock is ticking.

                    My situation is different only in that I am older and have less income-earning years ahead of me. If I were 10 or 15 yrs younger it wouldn't be such a big deal.

                    Each and every case of SS is, and should be, judged independently.

                    I believe that if people want their ex's to not become dependent upon them INDEFINITELY then they should do everything they can to ensure their ex gets back on their feet and becomes self-sufficient. Taking someone to court over and over, running up their legal bills, might feel good but it will certainly do no good in the end.

                    I have 3 pieces of advice:

                    1. NEVER go into business with your spouse. The laws DO NOT protect you in any way.

                    2. Help your ex become self-sufficient. Set out a concise SS plan that gives incentive to the recipient to become self-sufficient by lessening the amount of SS over a reasonable period of time.

                    3. Quit being an asshole by devaluing the contribution your ex made to the marriage. He/she may not have "worked outside of the home" but the court does in fact acknowledge traditional marriages (which do indeed still exist today) where one stays home to be primary care-giver to children and look after the home).

                    I do think times are changing. All I have to do is look down the street and see the huge amount of "latch key" children outside at 7:00 PM waiting for parents to come home and feed them. With that in mind, if no one is staying home to feed children and look after the home then perhaps SS shouldn't be on the table at time of divorce.

                    We all have to suffer the consequences of our actions.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      I had a health professional husband who did not have business sense. Great practitioner, but no money sense or business sense. I worked my full job and worked on starting his practise from day 1. I was involved even after we separated where I helped him sell the practise. He had severe mental health issues as well. My involvement in his mental health and his pratice prevented me from moving forward in my own career. Now my pension is less, and my salary during the years separated was less had I had my energy and time to concentrate on my own career. He is still working in the practise I helped him build. I am asking for spousal support--because yes---I would be better off now had my own career been able to move forward. Yes we were married more than 20 years. So there are reasons why women should get spousal support--because yes-I could have the lifestyle I worked for.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by mememe View Post
                        I had a health professional husband who did not have business sense. Great practitioner, but no money sense or business sense. I worked my full job and worked on starting his practise from day 1. I was involved even after we separated where I helped him sell the practise. He had severe mental health issues as well. My involvement in his mental health and his pratice prevented me from moving forward in my own career. Now my pension is less, and my salary during the years separated was less had I had my energy and time to concentrate on my own career. He is still working in the practise I helped him build. I am asking for spousal support--because yes---I would be better off now had my own career been able to move forward. Yes we were married more than 20 years. So there are reasons why women should get spousal support--because yes-I could have the lifestyle I worked for.
                        AMEN!!!!! I can relate, sounds like a dentist, did we share the same spouce?

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by oink View Post
                          Arabian's case is the only LEGIT one on here thus far, we've heard the story, and spoke offline about stuff....

                          Spousal Support in this particular case is valid...Period!

                          It's the other bandwagon folks that want it because they got dumped i.e. "the just because" crowd


                          Just a thank-you note for your brilliant insight to this post and all the particular Family Law cases. I think you have found your calling, it would be such a pleasure having a judge like you for your indepth analysis of each case. A true professional in every sense. We on this forum are truly blessed with your intelligence. Thanks for sharing.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            yes to the dentist
                            the energy i spent on building his practise , management, attending to the practise in many ways i don't have time to outline here prevented my advancement in my own career. SO sacrificing my career to build his career----and a place for him to work after we sold the practise----i do think there should be compensation. So is it ok for women to help their husbands-and once you divorce--he gains the benefits and you should lose out>>>>????? that is not fair in my books. I felt I was "used " for my business sense and support----and he can walk away with all the goods. I don't think so

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Originally posted by oink View Post
                              I'll let the Mods handle this one (hopefully they do to prove that there is no bias), instead of a creating a situation where someone goes running and crying
                              Oink, if you would prefer that I ban everyone who makes a sarcastic comment, you would have been banned several times a day ever since you joined.

                              You were warned for legitimate reasons. Stop being childish. You are not being treated in a biased manner.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
                                Just a thank-you note for your brilliant insight to this post and all the particular Family Law cases. I think you have found your calling, it would be such a pleasure having a judge like you for your indepth analysis of each case. A true professional in every sense. We on this forum are truly blessed with your intelligence. Thanks for sharing.
                                personal attacks are the sign of not having a rational argument. Just saying.

                                Comment

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