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Moving on....Final Minutes of Settlement (for now)

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  • Originally posted by good_mom View Post
    I really like Arabian take on this..
    Yes, Arabian is amazing. She's stood very close to my entire case, helped with materials, assisted with writing, etc. She's seen first hand what my ex has done .. every detail. Like me, I think she's in awe of how anybody could a) do that to somebody ; and b)get away with it.

    Trust me .. I'd love to simply tell my ex that I'd just take her during the school weeks while she underwent parenting courses. These course are very informative and educational. I got a lot out of them. Unfortunately, having D4 talk to a DV witness counselor was her remedy instead.

    D4 was fine in the truck this morning when I dropped her off. Singing, laughing, etc. I do NOT want D4 there before school on my days. The other day I left a note in D4's lunch bag (a drew a big heart .. love you's, etc). D4 said she didn't get it, that it wasn't in the bag. SO that's another issue .. ex will redo her hair, change her, change my lunch, take out notes I leave for her, etc.

    I e-mailed the school again to see if EDP could be sooner. This is ridiculous.

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    • So what has happened? From an outside perspective it looks like this:

      Mom had Kid in the morning, Mom thought Kid looked sick so kept her home from school and texted Dad to inform him. Dad and Mom later agreed that in future, whenever Kid was sick, the parent who had her in the morning would look after her that day so Kid wouldn't have to be moved. Later Mom texted Dad to say Kid didn't want to go to school and asked for advice, Dad told her that she should just drop Kid off.

      This doesn't look dysfunctional, this looks like Mom and Dad are able to communicate and solve problems. Of course there are going to be differences of opinion - one parent might think Kid looks really sick, the other might think she looks fine, parents might have different ideas about what should be in her lunch - but these are normal when you have two different adults assessing the situation.

      Ideally, Dad will be able to set up out-of-school care or make arrangements so he doesn't have to depend on Mom during his parenting time, and then he'll have less back-and-forth, but for now, it looks like he and Mom are doing and Kid is happy. This is good. The trick now is to stop overthinking Mom's motivations all the time. Maybe they are evil, maybe they are not. As long as things are functioning and Kid is doing well, it's best to stay out of Mom's head.

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      • Yea .. Just didn't like that she kept D4 home from school on my time when she wasn't sick. (Wasn't sick when I dropped her and D4 said she was never sick). She was noticeably upset that her mom didn't let go see her new friends.
        So not sure that I'm over thinking. Just wanted opinions.

        EDP will cure this.

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        • Nothing will "cure" this - Mom will continue to do things that you don't like, and you'll continue to do things that Mom doesn't like, until Kid is a teenager and starts doing things you both don't like. It's the way of the world. EDP will help because it will reduce opportunities for you and Mom to talk to each other. Whatever issues you and Mom may have, it sounds like things are going very well overall for Kid, which is the important thing.

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          • Why are my recent posts deleted from this thread now?

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            • And it looks like LF32 has been banned again.

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              • It looks like unnecessary posts were deleted, not just yours. LF and Sadandtired both had posts that are no longer here. I am assuming that the owner of the forum has deleted all unnecessary posts. LF was probably banned again for his behaviour but there is no sense continuing on in this thread.

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                • As long as the selective policy around forum decorum is applied equally to all members and mods this wouldn't be an issue.

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                  • There used to be a set of rules for the forum where undesirable behaviour was clearly set out. Flaming, name calling, etc. used to be against forum rules. Does anyone know what happened to "the rules"?

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                    • Rules are only good when applied equally anyway. We don't have that currently. We have obvious cases where certain users and mods are allowed to name call and bash other forum users. That shouldn't be so. Why it's condoned by the site owner is beyond me.

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                      • If I recall correctly the old "rules" used to specify that no one was to challenge the moderators (or something like that). If this 'rule' is still in place it would be beneficial for everyone to know.

                        Watch it dad2bandm - you may get banned!!!!

                        Might be helpful for everyone to know the rules. I wonder if new people signing up acknowledge and agree to the rules?

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                        • Originally posted by arabian View Post
                          ...
                          Watch it dad2bandm - you may get banned!!!!
                          ...
                          If my insistence on forum decorum rules being applied equally to all users and mods of this forum, gets me banned, then I guess that pretty much reinforces my complaint. Lol.

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                          • Why are there pages now missing on this thread?

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                            • Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                              Why are there pages now missing on this thread?
                              some posts were deleted.

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                              • Oh ok. This is getting a bit diva drama. Moving on to other!

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