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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 04-06-2015, 02:07 PM
YoungDad23 YoungDad23 is offline
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Unhappy Upcoming Settlment Conference and I'm in Hospital

Advice and comments welcome.

I have a final settlement conference coming in two weeks and if we can't agree on custody, the judge will be sending our case to trial.

I have a serious autoimmune disease that flared up over the weekend and I'm in hospital for treatment. This only happens a couple of times a year or I can go as long as two years without feeling this ill. My ex knows I have this illness and would use it in a heartbeat if she thought it would give her leverage.

Do I keep my mouth shut and keep having my parents pick up my toddler son for parenting time as scheduled (they brought him to the hospital yesterday to spend time with me and then took him to my home for dinner and to sleep overnight in his crib at my place and took him home to his mom this morning)?
OR
Be open and try to have a clause in our custody agreement that during the 1 or 2 times a year, I am flaring that my parents will help out as much as needed while keeping the same parenting time schedule?

My ex is on welfare living with her mother (also on welfare) while I hold down full time work and try to stay healthy enough to work and spend time with my son.

Since access visits were moved to my house, we have kept it quiet if I am not feeling well and my parents help out as much as I need them too. I live with father and my mother lives about 30 minutes away.

Most of the time I feel just fine and have no problem with looking after my sons needs completely on my own. When my illness flares, I am flattened and can't usually even walk until treatment kicks in (a few days to a week at most).

I currently have my toddler son with me for 8 hours one weekday and one overnight (24 hours) on the weekend, every week.

My son's mom wants sole custody and has used false allegations of every kind of abuse to try and get it over the last year. CAS, police and court have all caught on it got her nowhere except digging a big hole for lying.

I feel like I am on thin ice no matter how this is handled.

Thoughts?
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Old 04-06-2015, 02:25 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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Have your parents do the pick up. Your ex shouldn't have to compensate for you especially when you know she'd use it strategically against you. She is on welfare, child custody is an important form of income for people on welfare.
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Old 04-06-2015, 02:49 PM
YoungDad23 YoungDad23 is offline
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Thanks Links, that is what I think too. After what I have been put through by my ex and her mother. Less is best.
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Old 04-06-2015, 07:51 PM
stripes stripes is offline
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I don't see why you need a clause in your agreement that covers your illness. You said it's unpredictable and you can go for a long time without problems (you're managing to hold down a full-time job, which suggests that you aren't disabled by it). Give what you've said here, I don't see why your illness should influence custody decisions.

Your parenting time with your son is yours to use as you see fit (as long as the kid is safe and cared for). If during some of your parenting times, you have your parents look after the kid, that's your call. Kid is safe, and that's all Mom needs to know.
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Old 04-06-2015, 10:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stripes View Post
I don't see why you need a clause in your agreement that covers your illness. You said it's unpredictable and you can go for a long time without problems (you're managing to hold down a full-time job, which suggests that you aren't disabled by it). Give what you've said here, I don't see why your illness should influence custody decisions.

Your parenting time with your son is yours to use as you see fit (as long as the kid is safe and cared for). If during some of your parenting times, you have your parents look after the kid, that's your call. Kid is safe, and that's all Mom needs to know.
I agree with stripes.
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Old 04-06-2015, 11:23 PM
YoungDad23 YoungDad23 is offline
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Thanks Stripes.

I just don't want to do anything that would mess up what I have worked so hard to accomplish over the last couple of years.

My little guy is almost two years old and with custody still up in the air, I think I am freaking out because I'm stuck in a hospital bed with less than two weeks until our next court date.

I really don't expect my ex to back down from sole custody and agree to joint custody at the settlement conference and the thought of a trial is pretty scary.
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