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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #21  
Old 03-15-2018, 01:56 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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I dont know what sport this is, but by the time she gets an agreement or goes to court over this, either the season could be over, and/or try outs will be done.

I feel sorry for the child, she is being put in a very tough position.
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  #22  
Old 03-15-2018, 02:34 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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She just went through several months of court and mediation to get to this point. Its not going to happen.

Ange, just call his bluff. Even though it isnt a bluff and he will hurt the kid. Simply tell him he is free to manage the children on his time as he sees fit but he had agreed to the activity when she was registered and the only person he hurts is the child and thats it.
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  #23  
Old 03-15-2018, 10:28 PM
Ange71727 Ange71727 is offline
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I’ll try to answer everyone here. The access split ended up being around 35/65 with slightly more (60/40) for him in the summer. The kids are in a few sports and they all happen on the weekends (weekends are split equally in the month). This means that we both bring them on our parenting time and have both supported these same sports for 4-5 years and beyond if you consider all other activities when they were younger. He has never denied them their sports, even when he doesn’t like what they’ve chosen. There is a well established sports status quo one could argue here and no valid reason to stop bringing them, although there is nothing in the agreement that states he must bring them on his time. Kate, the next session runs 12 weeks with a competitive tryout at the end of it. Unfortunately there is a policy that they can’t miss more than 2 weeks to pass their level. I highly doubt she’d be looked at for competitive either if she’s absent that much. I think I will keep her in it regardless. It won’t be worth the expense I pay, but it will send the message that I support her sports. He truly is an idiot if he thinks it wouldn’t eventually impact his relationship with his kids.
Rockscan I have every single correspondence where he threatens he’s not taking them anymore and basically demands for me to comply with his wishes on everything. You are also right though that after a year of litigation I am not only feeling it financially, but just not willing (for my sanity) to go through court again yet. We will see how this goes. I will call his bluff and then decide whether I take action if he makes good on the threats.
I also agree that taking your kid to their sport is not “losing” parenting time, although it does sound like Berner’s case may be the exception to the rule. My kids are in local sports that both their father and I live near to. As an aside, he recently denied the kids the chance to come to a funeral for a family friend on his time, during which the kids texted me from his house to ask me how it was going. So ya, this is about him controlling the situation by “hurting” me (which really hurts his kids). He’s not doing it to clear up time in his schedule to be with the kids.
Rioe I think you’re totally correct that he’s willing to do this. My daughter will be very vocal about it though so hopefully that will sway him to do the right thing. Right now though he’s selling it to them like it’s mommy’s fault that this is all happening. It’s confusing and awful for my kids right now.
Ugh.


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  #24  
Old 03-16-2018, 09:49 AM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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/ignore as they would say on IRC in 1989.

None of the concerns raised are material enough for a court to do anything about. With time this nonsense will go away. It could take 2-3 years before they end or until the children reach age 14 or older...
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