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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Financial Issues

Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #31  
Old 01-15-2021, 10:24 PM
350 Mag 350 Mag is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
You need a therapist, I think you are about to fail even more. You don't want to do that.
Ya I definitely need someone to talk too....

That used to be my wife.

She is still in the house till Feb 1st.....and it's colder than Antarctica in here.

Therapists are not readily available.

I also have "trust" issues not sure IF I can talk to a stranger?

My wife's decision has hurt me, her, our kids, both our families....BUT she doesn't care???

It's not just the end of a marriage it's the end of a family....and divorce is forever.

I am not going to fail.

I am going to use the pain and turn it into drive to make my life better without her.

I used to work out alot....but slowly less and less over past few years.

Now I am working out almost everyday.

I have lost 15 pounds in last month....and starting to tone up.

I will be fine.
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  #32  
Old 01-15-2021, 10:50 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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You could see if your city has a family service office. They have therapy services. Also talk to your family doctor as they can refer.

You also need to remember that she is taking care of her needs. She may be in a lot of pain and probably has been for years. Your kids will survive as will your extended family.


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  #33  
Old 01-16-2021, 09:21 AM
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I think I will be fine.

No amount of counselling is going to help.

I am not going to look back anymore...I am not going that way.

Once the finances are figured out and the divorce is finalized I will start to heal.

Plenty of fish in the sea...
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  #34  
Old 01-16-2021, 03:40 PM
Kinso Kinso is offline
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Quote:
I think I will be fine.

No amount of counselling is going to help.

I am not going to look back anymore...I am not going that way.

Once the finances are figured out and the divorce is finalized I will start to heal.

Plenty of fish in the sea...
Famous last words.

You've decided something won't help without trying, this is foolish.

You're not ready to date yet, you're still hurting.

Decisions made now will have a long term impact. Get proper advice and decide wisely. You're not doing that yet.
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  #35  
Old 01-16-2021, 04:44 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Not to mention have an impact on the other current and future relationships. Whether you want to or not you WILL have an impact on your kids.


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  #36  
Old 01-16-2021, 07:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinso View Post
Famous last words.

You've decided something won't help without trying, this is foolish.

You're not ready to date yet, you're still hurting.

Decisions made now will have a long term impact. Get proper advice and decide wisely. You're not doing that yet.
It's really simple.

She doesn't love me anymore, she doesn't care either....so WHY would I waste my time going to a counsellor to come to terms with that?

Simple choice.

Accept it and move on.

Dwell on it, get depressed, and have no life.

I have lots of hobbies and interests.

I will concentrate on spending time with my kids, doing my hobbies.

I am not going to rush out to find someone but I am pretty decent looking, dress nice, not overweight, have money ....

The ONLY thing I know 100% for sure IS I will never marry or move in with another women unless she has a career that pays well and has her own money!!!
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  #37  
Old 01-18-2021, 02:07 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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well, I guess dating IS cheaper than therapy?

but seriously. The best investment you can make- to also help your divorce go smoothly for yourself and your kids- is therapy. Emotion is costly in a divorce. Most people, including myself, will attest to that.

Your posts (understandably) reek of emotion.
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  #38  
Old 01-18-2021, 10:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
well, I guess dating IS cheaper than therapy?

but seriously. The best investment you can make- to also help your divorce go smoothly for yourself and your kids- is therapy. Emotion is costly in a divorce. Most people, including myself, will attest to that.

Your posts (understandably) reek of emotion.
It's hard not to have emotion when you look at the person you have been with for 29 years....and you know they can still melt your heart....

It's very HARD fact to grasp when your love for this person is so powerful....and that they once loved you, but not anymore....and could care less if they ever see you again.( Or at least the vibe I get).

We were talking tonight and I said my biggest concern is losing our family unit.....for the future when we have grandkids etc. We won't get to experience it the same as her parents do. Summer vacations, Christmas, Thanksgiving holidays....etc etc

Family is special.

And Divorce ends the family.

It's disturbing....

1 thing is for certain....I will NEVER allow myself to become this attached to another again....

I went ALL-In.....never again!
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  #39  
Old 01-18-2021, 11:19 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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My husband said the same thing...then he met me!

You will still have moments as a family it just wont be the unit you imagine. My husband has been to his kids graduations with his ex there. Has celebrated birthdays with her there. I have a friend who hates her ex but the celebrate with their kids together at graduations, special events etc. There just might be another person there too.

Right now it is raw and hard. It will get better. Not fully and there may still be some sadness but overall this pain wont be this strong forever. And you will learn to manage. Just remember your kids dont want to manage animosity or anger. My parents were terrible at a siblings wedding and it was SO embarrassing.


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  #40  
Old 01-19-2021, 08:09 AM
350 Mag 350 Mag is offline
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Sorry but I fail to see the "attraction" of getting remarried?

To me your just setting yourself up for another failure and more financial hardship.

But never say never...

She would have to "tick" alot of boxes....

As good or better paying job.

Her own property and investments/savings.

Before I would ever consider a marriage again....too many women marry for "financial security".....then find out they don't really want to be with the guy....and the courts will give you 50% + money every month and part of his pension.
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