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rockscan · #11 01-11-2021, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 350 Mag

I don't think it's unreasonable to wait to have sex...?

If she starts doing that....

It is unreasonable and you shouldnt have said anything like that. You don�t get to tell her what to do or even �suggest� things. Her life is hers now and what she does is none of your business. You need to speak to someone to help you work through your grief. Your marriage died. Treat it as such and you will move forward in a healthy headspace.

Quote:

I think it is her that should be seeking a signed agreement before she leaves the kids, me and the matrimonial home?

You should get a lawyer and start working through the process. As long as this hangs over your head you will not be able to move forward and heal. Not to mention that she is responsible for supporting the kids.

Right now you are letting your heart do the thinking and that needs to stop. You need to start using your head.

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StillPaying · #12 01-11-2021, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan

Not to mention that she is responsible for supporting the kids.

She is paying cs.

What were the incomes throughout marriage. Seems like she's min wage and he's 100k+, but then how is her pension 3x more?

Depending on how spousal plays out, he's in a good spot now. Has the house, kids, cs, and pays lower ss...

rockscan · #13 01-11-2021, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StillPaying

She is paying cs.

What were the incomes throughout marriage. Seems like she's min wage and he's 100k+, but then how is her pension 3x more?

Depending on how spousal plays out, he's in a good spot now. Has the house, kids, cs, and pays lower ss...

Not sure where you are getting that info from. He said that he had calculated it and they were working on the split. Also that he makes 80 grand more than her. She could be making 100g with an organization that has a good pension. 30 year relationship with her in a job for that time would result in a higher pension especially if she works public sector and he works private.

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StillPaying · #14 01-11-2021, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan

Not sure where you are getting that info from. He said that he had calculated it and they were working on the split. Also that he makes 80 grand more than her. She could be making 100g with an organization that has a good pension. 30 year relationship with her in a job for that time would result in a higher pension especially if she works public sector and he works private.

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From the first post...

Quote:

The calculator for spousal support came out to $2058/month minus 500 for Child Support.

I think that 1508 is a fair amount but seems to be on "lighter" side compared to what a Judge/Court would allow.

We agreed to sit down a couple months into seperation to access our monthly expenses and income and agree we could modify the S.S payments if needed.

$500 for 2 kids suggests an income around 30k.
$2058 ss suggests an income around 110k.

I'm assuming these incomes are fairly new and not a representation of the 30 years.

rockscan · #15 01-11-2021, 03:57 PM

It sounds like shared custody which means the $500 would be his offset amount.

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StillPaying · #16 01-11-2021, 04:40 PM

He keeps saying she left the kids, kids are staying with him, he's going to focus on his kids, she should've had an agreement before leaving, kids live with him....

Doesn't quite sound like kids are with mom 50%, but who knows.

rockscan · #17 01-11-2021, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StillPaying

He keeps saying she left the kids, kids are staying with him, he's going to focus on his kids, she should've had an agreement before leaving, kids live with him....

Doesn't quite sound like kids are with mom 50%, but who knows.

I think there is more to this than what was posted. Bottom line, he needs to focus on what he needs to put together for an agreement and get some therapy for the emotional stress.

Word of warning to OP: nice guys finish last. She will look out for her financial needs and you should look out for your own.

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350 Mag · #18 01-11-2021, 08:00 PM

I will likely see a lawyer soon.

Just to see where I stand with Pensions....and wage split.

I can always take a lesser paying job(no bonus) that will drop my wage by 25-30k/ year as a last resort.

Mix in some stress leave, max out my unpaid leave and I can get my net income down to about 70k(down from 120k) if I have to.

Will certainly suck making 50k less per year but the hell if I am going to finance her mid-life f***Fest ....

rockscan · #19 01-11-2021, 08:41 PM

Ask about equalization and the idea of making a lump sum payment in lieu of getting a share of her pension.

And stop focusing on her relationship with a new man. Its counter productive and really unhealthy.

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StillPaying · #20 01-12-2021, 02:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 350 Mag

Will certainly suck making 50k less per year but the hell if I am going to finance her ....

It'll suck more making 50k less while still being imputed your regular pay.

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