I come here because I am unsure where to turn.
In 2000, having been widowed for 4 yrs, I moved from the country to Gatineau with my 9 yr old and my 11 yr old. My intention was to return to school, having been a corporate Wife, I hadn't much education.
After 1 month in the city, I became reacquainted with a man I had met briefly, before. He told me he was a coach, a business owner, and a single Dad, with sole custody, of 2 teenagers, 15 and 17. Things moved quickly, we fell in what I thought was love, and he wanted me to move in and assist him with his business, his words "I have the work ethic and you have the brains, the brains is what always held me back". He is somewhat illiterate. He had kept the secret for yrs. I told him I couldn't move in with someone without a promise of marriage, I am old fashioned that way, a Christian. SO...he bought me an engagement ring and promised marriage down the road.
Within 3 months, I was moved to Ottawa and playing 'wife' and 'mother' to our blended family. As well as doing payroll for his business and other business related duties. His kids had problems. It was far from easy. I helped his Son through an addiction and his Daughter through her modeling career. It was far from easy. But I held on.
In, 2006, he sold the house we were living in after over 50 showings, which I cleaned for. I would have to clean the house and walk the street for an hour while people had a look. He was too busy, I took care of all home related issues.
We moved into our new home, all in his name, and I continued my role in his business. I was introduced by him to bankers, workers comp people and others as the 'go to person'. If anything needed to be done in the house, I was the one who usually called and met the people, he was too busy. When he wanted life insurance or investment vehicles, I was the one who held the meeting and then passed info to him.
My life was given because I was told we were working for our retirement, he never bought me anything to speak of, paid me only for faxing/pr time, 100 bucks a week, if I was lucky. It was all for our future. My kids and I handled everything here. His kids never had to lift a finger. His son moved out in 2007, his Daughter has moved out last month with her baby, yes, she had a baby...I even helped with the baby. He wasn't comfortable changing diapers or feeding him, so I would do it, so he could visit.
Well, slowly things began to leak out. Like his criminal record, violent past, penitentiary time and...9 IMPAIRED'S! He has an anger problem. And his refusal to marry after 6 yrs. I want to leave but I can't afford to and he won't give me a penny. I have secretly applied for subsidized housing just to get out. I wonder if once I'm out, I could apply to the courts for some spousal support? I'm not looking for much, just enough to leave and return to school.
His business has tripled since I met him. We started a sub-company I was to be a part of but I am being pushed out by him and his kids. I helped start that company, I even called for the business number and met with workers comp, set up training for employees, etc.
He is worth alot of money. And he doesn't want to part with a dime. But I feel like I've devoted 6 yrs of my life to his kids, business and house with a promise of a future. But now, he refuses to marry, likely afraid he'll lose something. I cannot stay with someone who will not marry and has an anger problem, as he does.
Any words of advice?
In 2000, having been widowed for 4 yrs, I moved from the country to Gatineau with my 9 yr old and my 11 yr old. My intention was to return to school, having been a corporate Wife, I hadn't much education.
After 1 month in the city, I became reacquainted with a man I had met briefly, before. He told me he was a coach, a business owner, and a single Dad, with sole custody, of 2 teenagers, 15 and 17. Things moved quickly, we fell in what I thought was love, and he wanted me to move in and assist him with his business, his words "I have the work ethic and you have the brains, the brains is what always held me back". He is somewhat illiterate. He had kept the secret for yrs. I told him I couldn't move in with someone without a promise of marriage, I am old fashioned that way, a Christian. SO...he bought me an engagement ring and promised marriage down the road.
Within 3 months, I was moved to Ottawa and playing 'wife' and 'mother' to our blended family. As well as doing payroll for his business and other business related duties. His kids had problems. It was far from easy. I helped his Son through an addiction and his Daughter through her modeling career. It was far from easy. But I held on.
In, 2006, he sold the house we were living in after over 50 showings, which I cleaned for. I would have to clean the house and walk the street for an hour while people had a look. He was too busy, I took care of all home related issues.
We moved into our new home, all in his name, and I continued my role in his business. I was introduced by him to bankers, workers comp people and others as the 'go to person'. If anything needed to be done in the house, I was the one who usually called and met the people, he was too busy. When he wanted life insurance or investment vehicles, I was the one who held the meeting and then passed info to him.
My life was given because I was told we were working for our retirement, he never bought me anything to speak of, paid me only for faxing/pr time, 100 bucks a week, if I was lucky. It was all for our future. My kids and I handled everything here. His kids never had to lift a finger. His son moved out in 2007, his Daughter has moved out last month with her baby, yes, she had a baby...I even helped with the baby. He wasn't comfortable changing diapers or feeding him, so I would do it, so he could visit.
Well, slowly things began to leak out. Like his criminal record, violent past, penitentiary time and...9 IMPAIRED'S! He has an anger problem. And his refusal to marry after 6 yrs. I want to leave but I can't afford to and he won't give me a penny. I have secretly applied for subsidized housing just to get out. I wonder if once I'm out, I could apply to the courts for some spousal support? I'm not looking for much, just enough to leave and return to school.
His business has tripled since I met him. We started a sub-company I was to be a part of but I am being pushed out by him and his kids. I helped start that company, I even called for the business number and met with workers comp, set up training for employees, etc.
He is worth alot of money. And he doesn't want to part with a dime. But I feel like I've devoted 6 yrs of my life to his kids, business and house with a promise of a future. But now, he refuses to marry, likely afraid he'll lose something. I cannot stay with someone who will not marry and has an anger problem, as he does.
Any words of advice?
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