Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Parenting Issues

Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 10-20-2020, 06:56 PM
Elomelo8387 Elomelo8387 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: Thunder Bay
Posts: 34
Elomelo8387 is on a distinguished road
Exclamation Offer to Settle- Access Motion- Thoughts?

Hi,

Looking for some insight. Trying to put together a settlement offer before my ex tries to proceed to a motion. Backstory: Ex is in Mtl. I am in Oakville. We have a 3 year old. He lives with me and always has. Dad had very liberal access which he used and also missed a shit ton of visits.

My offer consisted of bi weekly avcess in Oakville and then have every third weekend I would meet half way so dad could have kid in Montreal. I gave up 20-27 in Christmas provided he shared the driving for exchanges. I gave one week in August and One week in July that coincided with the holidays and asked to split the rest of the Stat holidays.

Ex countered with basically wanting all stat holidays wants all Christmas as above and the two weeks I initially offered and share all transport. He also wants the right to reserve that if he misses visits in Oakville it’s forgivable and shouldn’t impact future access he says it’s Covid related.

Ok so let’s be real. He’s come to see the kid previously even when it was Covid. Covid shouldn’t impact parenting commitments and schedules.

Is there anything else I can do to settle or is his offer fair or should I just give my chances to a judge. Literally he wants me to take all the responsibility and parent and take all the holidays which to me is unfair. It’s one thing if he’s a plane ride away but he’s a little driving distance. I already gave up Christmas holidays which is super important to me as well as the summer STAT holidays but he wants more more more. Thought?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 10-20-2020, 07:01 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 5,462
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

Your offer is fair for a guy who let you move. If he isnt going to accept then let him go to a motion. A judge wouldnt let him have all holidays. There has to be a balance.

But thats just my two cents.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-20-2020, 11:01 PM
Elomelo8387 Elomelo8387 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: Thunder Bay
Posts: 34
Elomelo8387 is on a distinguished road
Default

Honestly it looks like it’s getting to that point. I just wanted to save all that money.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-21-2020, 11:18 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 5,462
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

If he isnt willing to settle then its best to save your money for the fight.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 10-21-2020, 05:10 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 863
iona6656 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elomelo8387 View Post
Honestly it looks like it’s getting to that point. I just wanted to save all that money.
One thing I've learned is being afraid of court is actually going to cost you MORE money in the long run- all the lawyers letters back and forth, etc. Even if you are a self-rep, that's your time and aggravation. Is the other party willing to go to a mediator or parental counselor who can help you both come up with a parenting schedule?

My daughter was between 2-3 yrs old when we were figuring out the parenting schedule. There's a lot more to consider with younger kids - other than just what is "fair" for the parents.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-22-2020, 10:49 PM
Elomelo8387 Elomelo8387 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: Thunder Bay
Posts: 34
Elomelo8387 is on a distinguished road
Default

I hear you and I’m trying to be fair and cognizant of that but my ex always feels like he is the victim and getting the short end of the stick. He still is in denial of the problems of our relationship and thinks things would have worked out if I gave it more time ����*♀️
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-06-2020, 08:23 AM
lorely lorely is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 49
lorely is on a distinguished road
Default

I need some advice, we have final court order for parenting schedule, drop off on Wedensdays morning 6:30-7 am. Everything was well up to now, my ex not stable at all with parenting times, leaving kids under our care several times for "being sick" or "having too much work to do for work" or "being stressed". All of a sudden he wants motion to change the drop off from Wednesay morning at the specified time to dropping them off at school. I dont agree with the change. Can he be successful with the motion?
Since pandemic started he is working from home but I am sure this is not forever.
Thank you.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 11-06-2020, 10:35 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 5,462
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

First what is the issue with dropping them at school? It seems such a minor change that you could be seen as unreasonable.

Second, he can WANT a motion but he has to file a motion and he wont see a judge until next year.

The best bet is to work with him on it. Regardless of what you like, is there a way to compromise in the best interest of the kids?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 11-06-2020, 10:54 AM
lorely lorely is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 49
lorely is on a distinguished road
Default

The drop off is at my place, I have the time with them until dropping them off at school. I offered for the best interest of the kids to drop them off on Tuesday evening right before bedtime, he declined. Kids prefer my offer, they are 13 and 10 yrs old.
His argument is that is hard to wake them up in the morning but he had no issues up to now. It's more for his convenience if you would ask me.
I offered to try to settle between us, without motion, he says it will take too long.
How do you see this from my point of view?
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 11-06-2020, 11:20 AM
Janus's Avatar
Janus Janus is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,497
Janus will become famous soon enoughJanus will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Kids prefer my offer, they are 13 and 10 yrs old.
Not their choice, especially the 10 year old.

Quote:
Can he be successful with the motion?
Probably, I cannot see any judge thinking that an extra transition right before school is somehow better than going straight to school.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
access, distance parenting, holidays, parenting plan


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Advice for Settlement Conf TheLongRoad Divorce & Family Law 12 01-20-2020 08:11 PM
Confused about Motions - Can ex respond to motion with a motion? opticnerve Divorce & Family Law 2 08-18-2019 02:21 PM
Offer to Settle Question. TheRespondant Divorce & Family Law 1 03-27-2011 09:41 AM
Emergency motion for access Underdog Divorce & Family Law 8 04-07-2010 12:16 AM
Appropriate Procedure gooddadgoingmad Divorce & Family Law 4 02-19-2006 03:44 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:56 PM.