CAS advised me to file emergency order to revoke access

[Tayken]

You need to either:

a) have the CAS open a file and state they will not allow the child to be with your ex for his parenting time; or

b) file a motion as stated above temporarily altering the parenting arrangement.

c) Have CAS take action under the Family Services Act.

PS: All the advice from HammerDad is excellent and right on the money.

[scarycheri]

My daughter had a session with her therapist which resulted in CAS being called. CAS advised me since I have full custody that they do not need to investigate as along as I keep my child from going to her Dad's. They also suggested that I file an emergency order to revoke access. How do I do this?

This is my original post above. As you can see I was asking how to do exactly what HammerDad just suggested. Somehow my question became a debate on the validity of what CAS said instead of being a answer to my question.

I am aware that CAS is not well versed on the law however when the very organization that has been bestowed the responsibility of keeping children safe tells me I have to keep my daughter safe or I could be investigated you might understand why I was a little freaked out and looking for help. I don't think it warranted being told I am B.S.ing. or scrutinized.

I have learned my lesson and will be taking advantage of the free hour of legal advice from legal aid. I will file the appropriate paper work which was always my intention & I will keep the hope that my ex can get his act together so he can try to rebuild a healthy relationship with our daughter.

[SadAndTired]

ScaryCheri

Try not to take it personally. I too had the same experience here. I asked what I thought was a simple question and then felt attacked and called a liar. I said exactly what my doctor said to me and many here picked up their pitch forks and burning sticks.

I am not sure why they cannot refrain from attacking the validity of new posts. Perhaps there are a few improper posters out there, but why chase away the ones who come here looking for information (not an attack)??

Good luck to you.

[madm82]

scarycheri, You are correct. CAS does when necessary, tell the parent with full custody that if they do not keep their child(ren) safe that they will open a file on them. CAS is in their authority to do so under those circumstances as well. CAS is terrible when it comes to giving the advice on how to go about doing this however. So, yes, go apply for an emergency motion, try to go for supervised access. Express your concerns as to why. No, you are NOT supposed to legally withhold access until a court order is changed- however if a situation was dire enough there are ways to skirt around this!

[madm82]

ScaryCheri

I am not sure why they cannot refrain from attacking the validity of new posts. Perhaps there are a few improper posters out there, but why chase away the ones who come here looking for information (not an attack)??

Good luck to you.

As no one ever gets someone's full story on here, I would assume it is sometimes hard to keep personal experiences and biases out of the answers, as sometimes the way things are posted seem to hit close to home. Maybe I am wrong BUT....


As an example, it is difficult for some people to give me good valid advice on here without attacking at first either. I completely understand this, because, it is almost unheard of in Ontario to have a parent (me) have full custody and so far get awarded that the other side receives no access no contact at all. Most people look at my case and think -"Wow! What kind of person does that to the OP?" A lot of people are *think* that I am a b i t c h for it, as how many parents have tried to do that to eachother (sickeningly so) just out of spite, or for stupid reasons? Therefore, it hits home hard to a lot! But, what they don't know is the whole story behind it, and when I ask certain questions, it isn't until I (and rightfully so given the extreme circumstances in my case) gain everyone's trust that I am really for the better good, will I get the advice/help I am seeking.

FOR THE RECORD- I agree with those who do that to me Honestly, I do. As honestly, my case is a sad (but for the better) situation, and for people to misuse or abuse the help I and my kids need- are sick, twisted, evil people, as really, my case is that rare and extreme when the sperm donor should really have no contact or access.

[madm82]

Also, so many people do come on here saying the OP is no longer good anymore that we are separated... they should have supervised access etc., But in reality, what changed When you were together, you trusted them enough to be a parent Why not now (my question mark is not working on my keyboard lol- I must have hit something and now have to figure out how to change it back! Sorry for that!)

[wretchedotis]

Original Poster here......

It's so nice of so many of you to basically call me a liar.

All I know is that my daughter (13) went to her therapist and complained about lack of food in the house when she visits her Dad, erractic driving & scary mood swings.

The therapist then called me at home to tell me that she consulted with her contact at CAS and she passed on the information she was given.

I wasn't comfortable with second hand information so I called CAS myself to find out if there is a case. I was told that since I have custody, as long as I protect my daughter, by either not sending her to her Dad's or by filing an emergency order, there is no need to open a case.

This is the same advice I got from CAS, in a different region, back in 2005 when my ex-husband tried to kill me and I called the cops. The cops informed CAS of the incident and they interviewed my daugther to see if she had been subjected or witnessed any abuse. After interviewing her it was determined that there wasn't a case of neglect or abuse and I was told once again that since I had custody, as long as I was protecting my daugther that they didn't need to be involved.

It's very disheartening to come to this forum for support and advice and to be called a liar. I have no need to lie. I am actually known to be honest, to a fault.

I have always been very supportive of my daughter's relationship with her father. This was also determined by the OCL back in 2009 when my ex tried to take my custody. I have always been flexible with his access requests. I have always followed the court order for his access, even as my daughter stood on his door step crying and begging not to go.

I have always found this forum to be full of great advice, insight and knowledge. I thought this was a place to share information and our stories. I guess not.

If I want to be doubted and yelled at I would have just stayed with my abusive ex

I'm not calling you a liar. I will call you 'predicated to see the worst'.

What is it your emergency motion would accomplish? To limit DAD's access? Perhaps even terminate it?

What you describe is unlikely to warrant such extreme response.

If CAS really had a problem with child being at DAD's they would forbid it - not suggest that you go to Court over it.

I submit to you, that you see the worse. CAS is giving you the old 'pooh-pooh' and telling you that if you feel so strongly about it - take it to court.

[standing on the sidelines]

wonder if CAS would back her up in court if she withheld access without a court order?? Or would they say that they didnt tell her to withhold and she misunderstood them (cover their own ass) about the emergency order. Unless something is in writing from CAS I wouldnt trust them. If they open a file on the parent posting what are they going to say, we opened it because she refused to defy a court order??

Court orders are meant to be followed. If a person starts picking what parts they want to follow then the order is meaningless and both parties may end up totally ignoring it.

[Berner_Faith]

scarycheri- no one is calling you a liar...what is being stated is that you need SOMETHING from CAS, in order to follow what they are saying (at the very least). If what they are saying is true and you believe them, ask them to write you a letter to that effect. If they do not, you can be held in contempt for withholding his parenting time.

Fact is, CAS cannot force you to go against a court order and if they were really THAT concerned they would provide you the proper documentation. Without documentation, even an emergency order won't get you far. The Judge will not accept what you are saying as the truth, you need something as evidence to back up your claim.

If you send the child and CAS investigates that is great! I believe it is protocol for them to speak to both parents. If you are doing everything right as a parent, what worry could you possibly have? You should be inviting them into your home to watch you and your children, instead of fearing them.

To give you a different example (not pertaining to children), but pertaining to an organization like CAS, I once had the SPCA called on me. We just moved into a new neighbourhood. I keep one of my dogs in his crate when we are gone, as he likes to chew things. His crate is a safe place for him to be, because he then cannot chew and ingest anything (I had one dog that ate a sock and had to have surgery, the recovery time was horrible). Well one day, some lady showed up at our house when we were not home, she was literately peering in our window and knocking on the door (confirmed by my neighbour)...well naturally the dog starting barking. This lady then called the SPCA because we apparently left our dogs home all day long, alone and caged up.

SPCA showed up, I gladly opened the door for them to take a look around our place, I introduced them to all our animals and explained the situation. All my animals are registered with the town and UTD on required vaccines.

Point of this is, if you are not doing anything wrong, you should not fear the CAS coming to your place to "investigate". If the ex is doing the things your daughter is saying he is, you should WANT CAS to investigate. If the only way they are going to do that is if you send the child back, then do it. You need something. Call CAS, let them know the child is scheduled for access time with Dad on such and such a date and you must follow the court order.

Then see if CAS is for real or if they are bluffing...

[FightingForFamily]

If the CAS comes to your home and wants to find something wrong they will.

The newer case workers are eager to exercise their powers and will destroy your family without understanding what they are doing. The older case workers are old, bitter crones who deal with the dregs of society far too often and can't always recognize when things are fine since they expect to find the worst.

They will lie to you, advise you to do things that are illegal, and they love to manipulate divorcing parents. They will never, ever admit a mistake when they make one. And when they do, you have no recourse or relief as they immune from prosecution and even the ombudsmen.

I realize they have a purpose to serve in extreme cases of abuse or neglect, but they often mess up those cases too because their resources are all wasted on frivolous nonsense.

Sorry, I really don't like the CAS.

[FightingForFamily]

wonder if CAS would back her up in court if she withheld access without a court order?? Or would they say that they didnt tell her to withhold and she misunderstood them (cover their own ass) about the emergency order. Unless something is in writing from CAS I wouldnt trust them. If they open a file on the parent posting what are they going to say, we opened it because she refused to defy a court order??

Court orders are meant to be followed. If a person starts picking what parts they want to follow then the order is meaningless and both parties may end up totally ignoring it.

CAS never puts anything in writing, especially advise they give. I have seen them contacted by phone a day after they tried to give legal advise to someone and they denied they ever said anything. When the other parent contacted them they told that parent a completely different story.

If the OP ended up in court, CAS would leave her to hang.

The CAS wouldn't say they opened it because she refused to defy a court order, they will simply state "they had serious concerns about the safety of the children and that the OP was not cooperating with their investigation."

They get paid by the case, so the more cases they can open and KEEP open, the happier they are. If they are lucky enough to abduct the children they get a huge bonus too. (about $8000 per adoption)

[wretchedotis]

I have had CAS provide me with a letter for the court indicating that they see no problems with my access to my child. So they do put things in writing. CAS has had an open file wih my son going on something like 4 years. I have always found them to be decent, respectful, and resourceful.

If you are a stand up person - you will withstand the scrutiny.

The truth comes out eventually.

[Nadia]

The CAS is getting better at being held accountable. They take complaints very seriously if you write in and copy the director into the letter.

[SadAndTired]

What I find amazing is that many here criticize posters for taking the advice of professionals (doctors, lawyers, therapists, etc.) but I have not yet read where anyone says "You likely shouldn't take the advice of an anonymous poster on a forum who may or may not be overreacting to the minimal information you have given here."

A poster wrote....."If the ex is doing the things your daughter is saying he is, you should WANT CAS to investigate. If the only way they are going to do that is if you send the child back, then do it. You need something."

There is no way I would send my child back into a situation where I thought their safety was in danger simply to "have something". The emotional scars of being abused are very difficult to heal.

[blinkandimgone]

What I find amazing is that many here criticize posters for taking the advice of professionals (doctors, lawyers, therapists, etc.) but no one ever says "You likely shouldn't take the advice of an anonymous poster on a forum who may or may not be overreacting to the minimal information you have given here."

A poster wrote....."If the ex is doing the things your daughter is saying he is, you should WANT CAS to investigate. If the only way they are going to do that is if you send the child back, then do it. You need something."

There is no way I would send my child back into a situation where I thought their safety was in danger simply to "have something". The emotional scars of being abused are very difficult to heal.

Really? No one ever says that?

Interesting. You haven't been here nearly long, nor read nearly anough threads enough to suggest that.