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  • what rights do we have

    My boyfriends ex is trying to sue him for an extreme amount of money. I need to know what rights he has and how far she can go with it. It started years ago when they became separated and she had the children. He was paying over a grand a month which he paid faithfully.

    The oldest, 16 at the time, moved in with her parents, because she made his father out to be evil. She was still getting the $1000+ a month and telling her parents that he (her ex and my now boyfriend) wasn't paying her anything. When a confrontation happened between him (my boyfriend) and her parents, he told them that she was still getting his money and he showed the receipts.

    Then the 2nd oldest turned legal age and the 2nd youngest came to live with him; he's been here with him since 2008. She has absolutely nothing to do with the 2nd youngest, and hasnt since he moved back with his father. She still has the youngest who comes with him every weekend and for summer vacation from school.

    The company he worked for moved to the states in 2007 and he lost his job there. When his 2nd oldest moved in with him and he tried to get the child support from her for him, she backed off and never heard a thing for the last 3 years; now he turned legal age back in the spring and voila, she's back trying to sue him again.

    He must have some rights. What can he (or we) do? I say "we" because I refuse to marry him as I am scared she will somehow try to use my income to her advantage too. I am a nurse working for the government, with 2 children of my own. (My ex and i have separated on friendlier terms than my boyfriend and his ex; we made our agreements verbally before we even went to our lawyer, and we can sit and discuss anything about our children at any given time.) I refuse to allow this gold digger (his ex) to touch my income. Any suggestions????
    Last edited by Mess; 09-02-2012, 09:08 AM.

  • #2
    I moved you to your own thread. I also applied paragraphing, punctuation and capitalization. I don't mean to offend, but you get more answers if your message is readable.

    The main suggestion is that your BF has been passive in this for years. He should have taken stronger steps long ago. He has not been attending to his children's rights; child support is the right of the child, not the parent. He has been enabling and encouraging his ex by not standing up to her.

    You don't mention if there was an original court order for child support, or was he just informally paying $1000 per month. If there is no court order, there is nothing for her to even try to sue him for. If there was, your BF had a responsibility to follow up and get the order changed when the situation changed, like the kids moving out.

    Child support is the right of the child; it is not a threat to use to get your ex to back off. When c3 moved in with you, the child support should have been adjusted to reflect that.

    The situation as it stands, if I understand correctly, c1 and c2 (the oldest) are adults and self-supporting. C3 lives with you. C4 lives with mom through the school year; you have him every weekend and two months in the summer.

    A schedule of every weekend for 10 months, and two months in the summer adds up to 60% for mom and 40% for dad. There might be a percent or two variation depending on what you do with Christmas holidays and March break. 60/40 is considered shared custody. Child support would be calculated by determining how much mom would pay at her income level, and how much dad would pay at his, and subtracting them. The higher earning parent pays the difference.

    Mom should have been paying child support all along for c3, or had this amount subtracted from what dad payed for c4.

    Dad must either be working, or he should be paying child support according to what he is capable of earning. Yes, the company moved and he was laid off; he still is expected to work and support the family. You aren't clear whether he is working now, and you don't state what their incomes are. We could give you some proper calculations of who should be paying how much. Anyway, here is a breakdown:

    Assume that dad earns $45k and mom earns $30k
    CS for c3: mom pays $245 per month
    CS for C4: shared parenting, dad $406 - mom $245 = $161 paid by dad
    Net payment: dad pays mom $32 per month

    Your income does not come into play, unless perhaps you are completely supporting your BF. If he works, then your income has nothing to do with it.

    According to you, the ex is "trying to sue him for a lot of money." From what you have written, she owes him back child support, and should be paying him a reduced amount (because the youngest lives with her 60%). How much is she suing him for, on what grounds?

    The courts generally don't go back farther than 3 years. If she felt he was underpaying for longer than that, she's limited to 3 years. In this case, I don't see how she is owed anything anyway.

    If you provide accurate income numbers we can give you a clearer answer.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Mess View Post
      Assume that dad earns $45k and mom earns $30k
      CS for c3: mom pays $245 per month
      CS for C4: shared parenting, dad $406 - mom $245 = $161 paid by dad
      Net payment: dad pays mom $32 per month
      I'm not following your calculations here, but I'm not sure if it's because I don't understand what you did, or if there's an error that should be corrected. Could you please break it down better?

      Thanks!

      Comment


      • #4
        c3 is with dad. Mom pays, at her income, $245 per month.

        c4 is within 60/40. Dad would pay $406, mom would pay $245, so the setoff is $161, paid by dad.

        For both children, it would be $245 paid by mom, minus $161 paid by dad, net $84 paid by mom to dad.

        I did make an error, I had the $32 amount saved from somewhere....

        Comment

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