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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 04-15-2019, 11:28 PM
Karma2016 Karma2016 is offline
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As the spouse of 23 years who was not privy to his plans to exit, plans he initiated over 6 months prior, which included buying a new house for himself, and he made all the decisions about the amount he would pay me once he left, and left me stranded in a huge matrimonial home to pay all the bills on the pittance of support he decided to pay.....donít be a dick and grow some balls. Sit down with your wife. Explain your marriage has runs itís course and it is time the two of you go separate ways. If your wife is as miserable as I was in my marriage she would be relieved and grateful. This way you can separate aimacbly for the kids sakes and she wonít feel like a fool and betrayed. Let her be part of the decision-making. I can tell you from experience you will be much more respected by her, your kids, family and friends if you come clean and stop plotting behind her back.
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  #12  
Old 04-16-2019, 08:16 AM
Whataboutbob Whataboutbob is offline
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Ouch! What was that for?

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  #13  
Old 04-16-2019, 03:36 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Karma2016 View Post
As the spouse of 23 years who was not privy to his plans to exit, plans he initiated over 6 months prior, which included buying a new house for himself, and he made all the decisions about the amount he would pay me once he left, and left me stranded in a huge matrimonial home to pay all the bills on the pittance of support he decided to pay.....donít be a dick and grow some balls. Sit down with your wife. Explain your marriage has runs itís course and it is time the two of you go separate ways. If your wife is as miserable as I was in my marriage she would be relieved and grateful. This way you can separate aimacbly for the kids sakes and she wonít feel like a fool and betrayed. Let her be part of the decision-making. I can tell you from experience you will be much more respected by her, your kids, family and friends if you come clean and stop plotting behind her back.
there is nothing wrong with getting all your ducks in a row before pulling the trigger.
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  #14  
Old 04-16-2019, 05:39 PM
Whataboutbob Whataboutbob is offline
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Not sure if the above 2 are more general minded despite in this thread.

I have been transparent with my spouse and from my view, not the one triggering the sepearation, simply acknowledging there seems no chance to rekindle things, though I'd try if I thought it possible. I'm trying to move forward, if more slowly then some would advise, to eventual separate homes.

I'm also trying to understand all my obligations which has at times been a blow to the gut. I get splitting the assets 50 50 and even get the idea of support, even expensive support while the kids are dependants, but indefinite support is a lot to swallow and keep smiling -- I'm trying.

I think it's reasonable to advocate for myself as I'm the one the law is tapping on the shoulder for the benefit of society.

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  #15  
Old 04-16-2019, 06:00 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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I think a lot of people were simply giving their thoughts on different scenarios. Its no different than saying you wont get divorced as you plan your wedding. You can go into things with good intentions but as the saying goes...the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Just take everything with a grain of salt, get your finances in order, meet with a lawyer and do what is best and within the law.
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