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  • Visitation to jail?

    My ex has refused to pay any child support for over a year. He is also ignoring the FRO. They informed me they were taking action. First his license, which I phoned the FRO and said I felt this was silly, as how is he suppose to get to work with no license and I requested they garnish his wages. They said he was not communicating and unless I knew where he worked, they did not. He has ignored all FRO letters and calls for over 1yr. They are not very happy with him at all, and the case worker told me that he is very frustrated with "another jerk".

    I could not tell the FRO he work, as I have no idea where he works, and he has not provided the court ordered income tax return for the last 4 years. He completely ignores the court order, but I do not want to rock the boat as he can get very violent. (he has broken my windows, slashed my tires, hit me with the car...the police always give him warnings, as he has relations on the force.....so I really like to lay low and keep things happy...he is really mad at me for the past yr since the FRO started pushing him).

    I do know he is working as when he constantly cancels his visitation he reasoning is "I have to work".

    So...now the case worker has informed me that they ordered him to court and he did not show up 3 dates 3 no shows, so they are going to have him arrested and jailed.


    My child is suppose to visit every second Sunday. The court lawyer said I would be responsible for taking my 7 yr old to see her father, as it is important she keeps ties to her biological father.....

    But I am struggling to understand how seeing and visiting your father in jail, is in the best interest of the child????

    I would appreciate any input or opinions here, as I try to wrap my mind around this....

    Thank you so much everyone.

  • #2
    Hire a private investigator to follow him around and find out where he works.

    Comment


    • #3
      If he's working and getting a paycheck, could that not be tracked through his SIN?

      I wouldn't want to take my kids to visit anyone in jail.

      Comment


      • #4
        Might not be that bad, probably low security, might have a family visiting room set up, who knows. Worth finding out, rather than assuming the worst. Will just be hard to explain to a 7 year old what 'that place' is in gentle terms.

        If you will have any communication, you could ask your ex if he wants his son to visit. Maybe he will decline, and problem is solved.

        Also, how long would the sentence be.. oops, yes, don't we need a trial first?

        Can you say 'incarcerated' boys and girls?

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
          Can you say 'incarcerated' boys and girls?
          Grade 5 speller.

          Comment


          • #6
            The sentence for failure to pay CS in Ontario is 180 days, and they are ineligible for good time.

            Dinky... you watch too much TV.

            There aren't any "family visiting rooms".

            Your ex would spend his time in a Provincial Correctional Institution.... ALL of which are maximum security.

            You visit in a glass booth, and talk through a telephone. There is no physical contact.

            When you arrive, you sign in with ID.... your purse, etc. is x-rayed and you will be subject to search. You will have to go through a metal detector.

            Then you go to the visit corridor, the staff will escourt the inmate up for the visit.

            Inmates are entitled to two, 20 minute visits per week.

            IMHO, children do not belong in a jail, and a Lawyer cannot force you to take your child into a jail.

            I certainly wouldn't do it.

            Your child could become witness to a number of situations.....that a child of that age should not be willingly subjected to.

            Comment


            • #7
              I have to agree with representingself. There would be no way I would bring my child to visit their father in jail. It would cause more emotional harm than not being to see their dad for a bit. Agreed, it is important to have a bond with their dad but I would totally draw the line there.

              I hope he can resolve his issues so it does not have to come to this!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
                Grade 5 speller.
                Git out yer dikshunary....

                Comment


                • #9
                  Children have a warped sense of reality. It could really damage a child's perception of their parent having to visit them in jail. People go to jail for crimes and kids associate crimes with violence, murder, theft. So it is possible that the child will think their father is this kind of person.

                  Yes, he's breaking the law and is not a good father, but I think it would be more harmful to visit if your child may perceive that the father is dangerous or violent. 7 years old is not old enough to understand that people go to jail for non-violence crimes. This could really damage the relationship between the father and child now, and in the future.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
                    Might not be that bad, probably low security, might have a family visiting room set up, who knows. Worth finding out, rather than assuming the worst. Will just be hard to explain to a 7 year old what 'that place' is in gentle terms.

                    If you will have any communication, you could ask your ex if he wants his son to visit. Maybe he will decline, and problem is solved.

                    Also, how long would the sentence be.. oops, yes, don't we need a trial first?

                    Can you say 'incarcerated' boys and girls?
                    You really have no idea what horrors the FRO can do. There is no such thing as low security for child support debtors, and they do not get any credit for good time. Debtors are treated worse than murderers.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by rwm1273 View Post
                      You really have no idea what horrors the FRO can do. There is no such thing as low security for child support debtors, and they do not get any credit for good time.
                      There is no such thing as a low security Provincial Correctional Institution... and "good time" was abolished last year... for all offenders.

                      BTW... FRO doesn't put deliquent payors in jail..... they do it to themselves, by NOT paying.

                      Originally posted by rwm1273 View Post
                      Debtors are treated worse than murderers.
                      Hardly....

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by rwm1273 View Post
                        Debtors are treated worse than murderers.
                        Sure buddy.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Only inasmuch as provincial offenders are treated worse than federal offenders. It's all about the length of the sentence, not the crime committed.

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                          • #14
                            Being incarcerated for not paying support is the only crime in Canada that a person will serve 100% of the ordered time unless they have someone pay for their arrears. Can anyone say that is fair? Here in Alberta there are several men thrown in jail for getting behind on support. Problem these people had was trying to get into court to change a support order after being laid off from the oil patch, and as some people here know, it is not always so simple to get into court. It does not take long for you to be placed into the highest collection bracket when your support amount is $2500 per month for child support and $1500 per month for spousal support, and then have the people from MEP/FRO send their letters to a wrong address. I know one man who was thrown in jail because of a support order from Ontario that was being collected on an interjurisdictional order. He was having a hard time getting into court, and was arrested after his former employer told MEP he no longer worked for them. It made no difference that he was laid off, the only thing that mattered was that he was $8000 in arrears, and had missed 4 payments. He was ordered to spend 60 days in jail. He served every single day.

                            I agree that some people in jail for failing to pay support is their fault, but not all.

                            Dadtotheend have you ever been to jail? Know anyone who has been arrested due to support issues? Or are you just trying to take a poke at me again?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              If you think the courts and FRO are reasonable, read this case.

                              The father had an order that cleared him of his support obligations to the mother and children, but the FRO claimed they were not party to that order, and that he still owed them, and they started a default hearing, and he was jailed.
                              CanLII - 2007 CanLII 18145 (ON S.C.)

                              Another case where the father was too broke to bring an application for a change in support, and perhaps also not knowledgeable in the law he did not bring a motion to change his support. Despite the courts acknowledging this, they did not adjust his support, and tossed him in jail for 85days anyways.
                              CanLII - 2010 ONCJ 23 (CanLII)

                              Comment

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